That night, Gertrude asked me to sit up with her after Ashley and GiGi had gone to bed. "I'm going to cut to the chase," she said without preamble after we'd got ourselves settled. "I know you want to ask my son to be father to your cub. But you're scared to let another male in after the way your former mate treated you. Hence the fine pickle you're in."
I grimaced. "You don't mess around," I said.
Gertrude shrugged. "As I said yesterday, I'm too old and I've seen too much to mess around," she said flatly. She softened her words with a wry smile. "And I know you've been in two minds ever since that pestiferous little bastard came to demand you back. You want very much to be able to trust my son, but you're scared at the same time, thinking he's going to lead you back down the same path Brody led you down. And you're also worried about what Ashley is going to think."
"Yeah," I admitted. "I mean, she didn't have any issues with it, but I don't want to be a homewrecker or anything like that. And how can I know it's more than just protectiveness over me and my cub?"
"You can't, not without asking him," Gertrude said bluntly. She sighed. "I know how you feel, child. I've been in your shoes far too many times to count. I know the helplessness, and the uncertainty, and the worry that someone is going to be hurt somewhere down the line. And the only advice I have for you is to tell Ashley. She's the one who needs to decide how she feels about all this."
I nodded. I didn't want to tell Ashley, but I knew I had to. "You're right," I said reluctantly. "I've been putting it off because I don't want to hurt her, and also because I know how much she loves Harry. I don't want to break them up, and if I have to find another male to be the father to my cub, I will. I'll even be a single mother if I have to, just so long as Brody and his cronies get what's coming to them."
"That's not a risk you should take," Gertrude chastised me. "Your cub needs the protection of a father. Whether it's my son or someone else, the longer you put this off, the harder it's going to be to hold Brody off if he wins. And he will not wait for you to dither."
I sighed. "I know," I said, firming my shoulders.
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The next day, I nervously broached the subject with Ashley, noting for the first time, as we hung out in the pool, that she was pregnant also. "I had no idea you were expecting a cub also," I said, by way of opening.
Ashley smiled. "Neither did I, to be honest," she admitted. "But it's not an entirely unwelcome surprise. There'll only be a few months' difference between them, so they'll grow up really close. If you want to," she added hastily.
I took her hand and squeezed it. "I'd love that," I said. "And that's what I wanted to talk to you about." I took a deep breath. "I was going to ask Harry to be the father to my cub," I said, feeling as if my heart would beat its way out of my chest. "I knew Brody was going to try and claim her after I fled the packhouse in Blackpool, so when Harry stepped up to the plate the day Brody visited, I knew I could trust him. But now that you're expecting as well, I can't really ask that of you, not when you need him to be a father to your cub as well."
"I do," Ashley admitted, giving my hand a firm squeeze in return. "But so do you. And you need that protection more urgently. He and I discussed it when you moved in, and we agreed that, if push came to shove, he'd step up to the plate and be the father. You do need to make haste on that, though. I know you're scared to trust any males after what Brody did to you, and believe me, I felt the same way after I managed to wriggle my way clear of Norwich, but I had the good sense to realise that not all males were like my brother, and that Harry was a good sort." She smiled. "Well, I realised that the night we met in the pub in Birmingham, and that is a story and a half."
"I heard about it secondhand," I said. "How did it come about?
"It was interesting, to say the least," Ashley said with a faint smile. "I'd just been rejected by my first-chance mate - and that was not his fault, by the way, just bad timing - and I was feeling rather sore and sorry for myself. So I figured a girls' night out was in order. And then my friend Kiara ended up meeting her mate that night, so I felt even more low, especially when Alex and Isabelle showed up, all lovey-dovey and unable to keep their hands off each other. You couldn't blame them, but it really felt as if they were all but rubbing it in my face. So you can imagine I wasn't feeling the greatest."
She giggled. "I'd just come back from the ladies, when I heard someone say, 'Mate' behind me. I've also got no wolf, like you, so I didn't even know I had a second-chance mate right there, until I felt a stranger's arms around me, and a stranger's lips on mine. It was one hell of a shock to the system, by the way. I don't recommend getting caught out like that.
"I was very confused, and for a few seconds, I didn't know what to do. Like I said, I had literally no warning, so I was completely unprepared. But once my brain caught up with my body, I put two and two together, and then it was all smooth sailing after that." She smiled. "I don't think we let each other go for more than a minute once the first kiss was over, and we kissed plenty of times after that. At least until my brother showed up, tore us both a new one, and hustled me out of there so fast I felt my head spin."
I grimaced. "I'm not going to ask," I said. "I mean, I know about your family history, so I can only guess what might've happened."
"Nothing did," Ashley assured me. "But Brandon did his best to break me psychologically, and for a while, he did have me doubting Harry, to the point where I was about ready to give up. But then I met one of his pack by chance while out and about, and they told me Harry was absolutely beside himself over losing me. I didn't want to believe them, but when they allowed me into their mind, I very nearly threw up from the pain. That convinced me they were telling the truth, and Brandon was just being a jealous bastard who had issues up the wazoo. But I couldn't tell him outright what I was planning. Instead, I called Caleb, and he managed to convince Brandon that I wanted to join the Whitewaters in Penzance. Brandon didn't want to let me go, but I promised him I'd stay as far away from Harry's pack as possible, and Caleb vouched for me. He even talked Brandon into transferring his bond with me, so there would always be someone to 'keep an eye on me'."
"And the moment you got to Penzance, you scarpered to Liverpool as fast as possible?" I said with a grin.
Ashley grinned pack. "I did," she said. Her smile died soon, however. "And Brandon was pissed when he found out Caleb had lied to him. He was just about ready to go to war with the Whitewaters, but when Stephanie casually mentioned she had a lot of firepower at her disposal, Brandon backed down."
"Until now," I said grimly. "Well, he's going to come on us like a ton of bricks, him and Brody both. And I have to bite the bullet. Yes, I am going to ask Harry to adopt my daughter when she's born. And I'm sorry. I know you love him."
"There's nothing to be sorry for," Ashley told me, squeezing my hand again. "You love him too. You're just not quite ready to admit it for fear of getting your heart broken again."
I winced. "I'm sorry," I said again.
Ashley leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Don't be," she said. "Haven't you noticed how free the pack is when it comes to romance? Half of them are in polyamorous relationships, and I'm sure you've noticed the cuddle piles most of them like to get into on a regular basis."
I smiled. I did indeed recall those cuddle piles, and only my still-lingering distrust for males, plus my growing stomach, had prevented me from joining in. I was still slightly leery about the whole "second-chance" mate which seemed to be dangling in front of me, but I reminded myself that if Ashley could get over her fears, so could I. And it helped that Harry was as real as the day was long; he was as fierce as Brody, to be sure, but he wasn't cruel. And he cared for me immensely; it had shown the day Brody visited, and, remembering how safe I had felt in his arms, I knew Harry was a male I could trust implicitly. "What about you?" I asked anxiously.
"I'm a one-male type of female," Ashley said with a smile, giving me another kiss. "But I don't mind sharing. In fact, I highly recommend the two of you get to spend a bit of time together when all this mess is sorted out. I'll even go one step further; when he comes home, you are going to be the first to greet him."
I took a deep breath. "I'm scared," I admitted.
"I know," Ashley said gently. "But I promise, it's going to be okay. Take all the time you need to get used to the idea, but don't hesitate when push comes to shove. Time won't wait, and you don't get a second chance to take a second chance."
"I can do that," I agreed.
Ashley smiled and gave me a warm hug. "You're going to do just fine," she said in my ear, and I hugged her back, feeling much better. "Now," she said, letting go. "Let's abandon this deep and meaningful, and get into deeper water." She suited words to actions, taking a deep breath before going under, and I hesitated for only a half second before joining her.
We floated under the surface for a little while, allowing ourselves to relax and just be in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future. The sun shone down through the water, and with its silence surrounding us, I took stock of my environment; the way the water moved through my hair, the way small bubbles escaped every time I let a little bit of air out, and the feel of the sheer weightlessness cradling me.
Ashley soon surfaced, but I stayed underwater for a bit longer, once more immersing myself in its peace. The world and its cares waited above, but I wanted to have one more moment to myself before rejoining the press and struggle. My lungs were burning, warning me I was almost out of air, however, and I decided the wise course right now was to surface.
So I did. "Better?" Ashley asked, and I smiled as I pulled myself out, wrapping a towel around me.
"Much better," I said, and I meant it.
