“Every day the clock resets. Your wins don't matter. Your failures don't matter. Don't stress on what was, fight for what could be. “-Sean Higgins
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I felt like I was floating in an ocean of nothingness, just me and that loud ringing in my ears I wish it would stop as I feel like my ears are going to blast. I couldn't move my limbs, neither could I feel any sensation on my body.
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How did I reach here? All I remember was packing a bag with water and snacks for a farewell class picnic for my last year of school. I remember looking out of the bus window taking in my surroundings, the green grass and the various palm trees, and the sunlight warming up my skin naturally, the singing of my classmates and the arguments for what song was going to be played. I was so excited when we reached, I was looking forward to the glorious day with these amazing classmates, God knows when I would meet them. It was a huge place filled with trees and plants, crazy to think we were actually on a hill around 60 feet above sea level then I saw the angel of death, I didn’t know what it was at that time, to me it was just a bridge, a red iron bridge. At first, I didn't think much of it, the water under the bridge was as clear as a crystal, there were rocks covered with green moss and little fishes feeding on them, it was beautiful, I wanted to take a closer look, I didn’t know what would happen.
Then all of sudden, "Hey popstar!", I whipped around to see the demon in human form or as you could call her my alleged best friend, "Having fun?", those were the last words I heard before that evil smirk cracked on her face and those familiar brown eyes shone with hatred, “Cherish it because it going to be your last-", “Nancy! NOO!”,
I woke up with a start and tried to control my uneven breathing, everything was blurry, the sun was no longer warming my skin, instead there was a chilly ice-cold atmosphere which gave me goosebumps, I pulled a blanket closer to my body, wait a blanket, where was I, I looked around my surroundings and then it hit me. I took in a huge breath of air and adjusted my glasses to their original place. It had been 4 weeks since that incident took place and I had the same nightmare every night, That same evil smile that same hatred in those brown eyes. I rested my head in my palms for a second before wiping the tears in my eyes and looking around me. I was on a plane, I started to feel aware of the pressure in my ears and nose, the book that was supposed to give me company for the journey was still on the first page. I looked out of the window and saw the white snowy clouds, I used to love being in the air but I couldn’t concentrate on the beautiful scenery outside, my thoughts kept going back to that sunny day, if only I could describe it as warm.
Well after an accident as horrendous as mine, you don’t often see the victims on planes, TV shows and movies portray it like life goes back to normal the second you recover, but there is a lot to that, U can’t just jump back into your usual routine it takes a lot more time, so to help me get back on track I was going to beach hut island, where there was a camp for disturbed girls. My mom's best friend had told her about it and after the accident, she sent me here to this camp for lunatics, God knows how long I will spend here. I don’t intend talking to my mom anytime soon.
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I tried to concentrate on the book I had bought for the journey when a woman with brown hair who seemed to be in her 40s approached me. She had her hair in a bun, and had pink cat eyed glasses on her face, she was wearing some kind of uniform.
"What's your name kid", she asked, "Shaking", I replied without thinking looking back at my book, come on I had to get distracted from the wreck called my brain, she looked at the clipboard in her hand and said, "Shaking?”, I rose my head to look into her eyes you ain't on the list, this ain't time for any jokes WHAT IS YOUR NAME?", she scowled "Oh I’m sorry, my name's Miracle", I said quickly understanding the misunderstanding "that wasn't so hard was it Miracle?", she said before ticking my name of the list and moving on to the next person. Miracle, that was my name well my real name, a word given to at birth like every child in the world it was the first thing I learnt but yet it sounded so foreign like it didn’t belong to me at all. Shaking that sounded more like me, but I wasn’t Shaking in this camp, I was Miracle, Miracle Styles.
"Hey kid", I heard a new voice from behind my seat, she looked in her early 20s, had pixie black hair with blue eyes, she had a tattoo sleeve on her right arm and had an unlit cigarette between her fingers, her eyes were filled with mischief and now that I think of it, she came with the only intention to annoy me. "You that celebrity, in that group", I sighed here we go again," what was it again she said clicking her fingers trying to remember," Universal FIFA?", she said with a smirk on her face obviously trying to provoke. "United Divas", I corrected in a bored tone and went back to concentrate on my book, "Right what u fancy pants doing here", she said while taking the seat next to me, "this camp ain't meant for soft rich girls like you, and besides what could go wrong in your life, this camp for disturbed girls you know?", "ya I do, I know what I’m doing here and I don’t recall it being any of your business ", I replied wanting nothing more than for her to go away, "someone’s feisty, what went wrong with you, your song didn't hit number 1? didn't get enough lines to sing? Fought with your stupid friends", she mocked, I let out a strong breath and clenched my teeth I could feel my ear redden with anger, "Oh I know your one night stand broke up with you?", "Shut up", I snarled, "shut the fuck up, you know nothing about me, so you and your stupid daddy issues get away from me", I knew I hit a nerve when I saw her smirk disappear which made mine appear," or what", she challenged, "Or what?", I chuckled, "let's just say rapping and dancing aren't the only things I’m good at", That made her chuckle which made my smirk turn into a confused look, was this girl some nut case, "Damn, My name is Jakie, Jackie Sullivan ", she said when a genuine smile appeared on her face, "Your first time here?", she asked, I nodded not letting my walls down, I don’t think I’m going to trust anyone here, "stick with me, kid, I’ll show you the ropes", she said putting an arm around me. "you've been here before?", I asked curiously. "Couple times and most of the girls on this plane have been too". “What’s with the sudden change in behaviour, you lose some screws at the airport?”, I asked utterly confused. “Aw u seem my type, never mind all that let’s gossip”, she squealed.
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She pointed to a blonde girl sitting right at the back she had headphones on and was staring out of the window, the poor thing was so scared you could see worry and fear all over her face. "Her name is Maya, 3 years ago her brother went on a rampage and took a gun and shot kids at her school before shooting himself in the head”, my eyes widened at that that was so scary, “Traumatised the poor thing, at first everyone at school was scared of her and then the bullying, rumour has it that she was locked in the classroom for an entire night hence she has been coming to this camp for 3 years", "Poor thing", I said. And as if she had heard what we had said she looked at me, her eyes widened in shock and she hid another her blanket, my eyes furrowed in confusion. “How old is she”, I asked, “14”, Jackie replied.
"Next", Jackie said moving on to an American girl with a short haircut, "That’s Kyla”, Jackie said “She was caught with drugs in her locker when she was 12, hence she is here", “she had a drug problem at 12?!”, I said not believing my own ears. “That’s when most children fall prey sweets welcome to the real world”, Jackie said that annoying smirk appearing on her face, I fake smiled back as she moved on to the next girl beside Kayla, she had beautiful brown skin and her hair was in a long braid, she had an athletic build, she looked my age and Kayla looked 18 or 19 "the girl sitting next to Kayla is Kevenly, she came out to her parents 3 years ago and her parents and was forcefully sent here", "why was she sent here for being gay?", I asked. "Well, her parents believe that the "disease" can go with the help of therapy, she went back and was still the same they sent her again god knows how long till they realize, "wow", I said not believing that a parent could do that. "Then there is Arin she was a ballerina but a bad fall destroyed her dream of dancing", "she can't dance anymore", I asked in a soft voice, that was my biggest fear not being able to dance and here someone was living it, in reality, I felt a chill go up to my spine and my mouth went dry. "She can it will take her some time to recover, “thank god!", I exclaimed. Jackie furrowed her eyes at me and I pleaded her not to ask me anything about it.
"What about you?", Jackie asked completely ignoring my gaze. "Me?”,
“Hey popstar”
“Having fun”
“Nancy NO”
“Beautiful day isn’t it Mira?”
“Hello, earth to Shaking”, Jackie said waving her hand in front of my face which snapped me out of my thoughts, “I”, I said, my voice felt constricted to my throat and I couldn’t speak the memories came flowing back,I heard a scream a loud scream which made me feel like my eardrums were going to blast, I grasped my hair, I couldn’t breathe anymore, “She’s having a panic attack”, I heard someone say next to me, Soon I feel somoen lift my arm and place it on my chest , someone was close to me I could feel their breath tingle my ears and their warmth surround me, I wanted to cling on but I couldn’t move, “Your okay”, the voice said in my ear, “Your safe, no one can hurt you here”, the same voice repeated, “concentrate on your heart beat, take deep breaths”, the voice said, “Calm down its okay”, my lungs didn’t feel like they were on fire anymore and my heart beat slowed down, I let out a huge breath as my hands left my hair and went to my face to wipe my tears,I swolloed hard and saw the same woman from before next to me, “Here drink some water”, she said giving me a bottle in my hand, she smiled at me before looking at my partner with a stern look. “WHAT.HAPPENED.HERE”, she said glaring at Jackie who seemed cower under her gaze. “I was just curious and I asked her-“,”JACKIE SULLIVAN!”, came the woman’s voice booming throught the entire plane, “GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE YOUNG LADY AND I WILL DEAL WITH YOU WHEN WE LAND” she said and her eyes followed Jackie as she ran back to her seat, “Get some rest, ill wake you when we get the meals”, she said I nodded quietly and gave her a small smile, I could feel the entire plane’s eyes on me, I wrapped the blanket around myself and plugged in my earphone, hopefully Super Junior could distract me.
I couldn’t sleep after dinner, my phone’s battery had died and I had kept it for charging, it was to dark for me to see anything outside the window, everyone else seemed to be asleep, except on girl who had her torch on, I think she felt that no one could see her but it was so obvious, I pulled the blanket off me and put my charging phone into the seat pocket and sliently went to the lit up seat. “Jackie”, I said softly, “She looked up at me with, “Not tired?”, I whispered, “No”, she said, I sat next to her. “Im sorry”, we said together, “What are u sorry about”, She asked me, “I don’t know”, I said honestly, “I didn’t know I was gonna get an attack”, “Im sorry”, she repeated, “ I knew”, she said, “You knew what?”, Mira replied looking at her, “ I know what happened to you, it um was all over the news”, She said looking down at her fingers and playing with her painted nails. “I just I don’t know-“, “Wanted to hear it froom me?”, I said looking at her, she looked at me speechless and confused, “Oh you aren’t the first one”, I said looking at my own fingers there was silence for sometime, “Im really really sorry”, she said all the mischive I had seen before gone from her eyes, “I went to far and I wont again”, She said, “Ok”, I said not really knowing what else to say, Everything is going to be okay Mira", she said a warm smile appearing on her face, "Mira?”, it had been a long time since someone called me that ,“and how do you know that", I asked looking into her eyes, nothing was going to be okay I was missing out on so much my group was doing and I didn't even have a guarantee that I will be welcomed back, my career might be over forever, and I cannot think straight without feeling like I want to puke. "Because Mira good times and bad times are like the sun, it might get covered in clouds but it always comes back, so whatever happens never give up", she said. a warm feeling crept into my heart and I smiled a smile I hadn't smiled in a long time, yes maybe everything is going to be alright, “So cliché”, I replied which made her chuckle. She wrapped half of her blanket around me, “Ill show you the ropes”, she said yawning and closing her eyes.
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