I was sitting on a chair in front of a tall mirror, while mama stood at my back. She was combing my hair repeatedly as if wishing for it to grow long.494Please respect copyright.PENANAL3RDcvauMG
"You are so beautiful, my sweet Judy," she said, smiling. "When you grow up, you will make a good mistress of our home."494Please respect copyright.PENANAVoEQJuZvUV
I closed my eyes and nodded in response.494Please respect copyright.PENANA2nedLcoJ6o
Whatever caused mama to be firm in raising me the way mothers bring up women confused me. She's been very vocal about her faith in God at home, in school, and most especially in the church, but she was also actively taking part in something that she knew was against His standards.494Please respect copyright.PENANAjJ6xmKRT33
Her children, including yours truly, happened to be all-male, but instead of being thankful for His wonderful gifts, she was still wishing for something impossible.494Please respect copyright.PENANAoVracfYWRv
When papa had not yet stepped on the ship, he once told us that Mama had always desired a daughter so that she could have someone to help her with the chores and bond with by combing and braiding hair, putting on make-up, dressing up, and other girly stuff.494Please respect copyright.PENANANTd4lBIdWe
He even said that when I was born, I looked—you know, like that girly type of angelic the media portrayed angelic to be: soft, white skin, pinkish lips, and round eyes covered in thick, curly lashes. So she raised me as a girl. Of course, papa was against it, but the last thing he wanted for himself was to endure Mama’s unbridled bombardment of snide remarks. So this angelic-looking twelfth grader suffered the consequences.494Please respect copyright.PENANADzjPIYIuKW
My eyes flew open when something cold and hard buried itself in the strands of my hair. I fought the urge to raise an eyebrow as her butterfly hairpin sparkled above my right ear.494Please respect copyright.PENANAQdtrOQekjf
"There, beautiful." She appreciated before lacing her fingers through my hair for the last time. "I hope your hair grows longer. Let your beauty shine."494Please respect copyright.PENANAKaxRFgpU3e
She held out her arm.494Please respect copyright.PENANAOdCxSp1ox4
"Come, dear, we have to go to the market. We are running out of supplies."494Please respect copyright.PENANAHXv54QSmIP
I took her hand and allowed her to help me up.494Please respect copyright.PENANAX7jCO8Ydgd
494Please respect copyright.PENANAXBCM2PnEhu
We were about to leave for the market when one of my brothers arrived, carrying loads of supplies. It was our eldest. He placed the bags on the table when he reached the kitchen. Upon doing so, the band that kept his hair in a neat bun snapped, causing the black, wavy strands on his head to tumble about his broad shoulders.494Please respect copyright.PENANAaSJHjp9bSS
"Oh, thank you so much, Joe, we didn't have to go to the market," said mama. "I hope we haven't taken up your time."494Please respect copyright.PENANAeY3xA8RP10
"Nah," he answered in a deep voice.494Please respect copyright.PENANA6gtcVsvCTf
I immediately arranged the supplies in our pantry, watching him sit by the head of the table and take off his damp, white shirt.494Please respect copyright.PENANAhv7lemPq6f
My lips tightened at the sight of it. I wish I was more like him. I wish I had his lean yet perfectly sculpted muscles, his hard, square face, his thin mustache, and his low, husky voice. But mama’s dream of having a daughter has wound me into becoming the keeper of the house. Me looking more like a girl must have added to it.494Please respect copyright.PENANAL5VkP3j2fC
She sat on the right side and handed him a glass of water.494Please respect copyright.PENANACKc8ZJnMcP
"Won't you miss work?" she asked.494Please respect copyright.PENANAIdym1lAoMe
He downed the water in one swallow. "No, I'm on a day off," Joe replied. "I could do the laundry."494Please respect copyright.PENANAb4VuFwCe2x
"But you don't need to, my son. You are a man." She placed her hand on the ripped arm of my brother. "Besides, Judy is here. She can take care of everything."494Please respect copyright.PENANAoPYtk3NJZg
Joe's eyes darted on me as my hands mindlessly brushed my nearly skinny bicep. He smirked and chuckled.494Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5FuEtSU2F
"Dude, you look like a plant. Can you take it off?" he said.494Please respect copyright.PENANAVGRattZmWQ
He was talking about that golden butterfly clip Mama planted in my hair. I sighed but in relief. Finally, somebody realized just how awkward that looked.494Please respect copyright.PENANANg2Jx1ciB8
My brother stood and walked toward me, reaching out his fingers to remove that embarrassing piece from my head.494Please respect copyright.PENANAWZvYbdk3vc
"There," he said, grinning like a dog. "Better."494Please respect copyright.PENANAAbL0gHNvc8
He went back to his seat.494Please respect copyright.PENANAZa5Icj5Fvv
Mama's eyes widened in horror. "Joseph! Why did you do that? Don't you see how pretty your sister looks?"494Please respect copyright.PENANALjpQcDek5l
Joe turned his attention on mama.494Please respect copyright.PENANAFURSL4BE0n
"Ma, Judah is my brother." He allowed the clip to twist between his thumb and forefinger.494Please respect copyright.PENANAK4Es6XDH0E
Mama gently took the clip from him and enclosed his big hands in her brown fingers.494Please respect copyright.PENANAQJnBn98ozr
She explained in a soft voice, "My dear boy, I understand where you are coming from, but you do remember my dream, right?"494Please respect copyright.PENANA9LUmIjtO9S
Joe did not answer, so she gave him a nudge.494Please respect copyright.PENANAKWkZPvL3vt
"Right, anak?” Mama insisted.494Please respect copyright.PENANA15Cke7aIps
His eyes rolled upward and he chuckled. "Judy."494Please respect copyright.PENANA98vNezwh7G
Then he rose from his seat and headed to his room.