I’ll give you a tip. Whatever you do, don’t be what’s called a Tsundere. Ever heard of it? It’s a term used in that one song by Static-P way back in 2016 or something… uh… maybe I’m the only one who listened to it… Anyway, it’s a Japanese word that roughly translates to ‘Turn away’ and ‘Romance’. Basically, it’s when someone likes someone, but because they feel like they won’t be able to get together with that person or their pride won’t allow them to admit it, they push the person they like away. By push away, it can mean talking rudely to them, ignoring them, or in… some cases, physically hurting them… Of course, they never actually mean anything they do, of course, but it doesn’t matter. In most books and TV shows, the character grows warmer over time and usually they become a couple. It’s really cute and nice, and although repetitive, a very easy strategy for bringing two people together in media. But I’m here to tell you to not do that. Don’t, and you’ll be different from me.
I believe I started to ignore people a lot more often, from just not talking to people to using things like the book strategy to disregard the annoyances in my life. The reading habit not only helped me grow to be a better reader (for no reason in the end) but it also showed how I started to get a little… socially distant… not in a bad way, I still had friends of course. But… sometimes while I was absorbed in the words, I wouldn’t notice when people tried to talk to me. Besides teachers, of course, I always pay attention in class. But I’m talking about the worse situations. Girls. Girls? Ha, I tended to forget their existence.
By now I hadn’t tried that much to talk to Caitlyn. After the horrible first greeting and always having to be wary of Anna’s presence, I was scared to talk to her. And by my knowledge she never tried to talk to me. Of course, I could also have just never paid attention and didn’t realize she tried to talk to me, but that thought never crossed my mind. I’m too busy reading to listen to people.
“Alan?”
I thought I heard someone call out my name, and ignored them.
“Alan? Can you hear me?”
Heard them again. Continued ‘reading’.
“Hey, Alan!”
Okay, okay, I get it, I know you’re there. I could hear their voice, it was a girl’s voice. Interesting…
“Who is it?”
“It’s me, Caitlyn. I want to talk to you.”
Cai- she- she’s talking to me! I didn’t even have to do anything!
“What’s up?”
“So, uh, do you have a crush?
“...what”
“I said, do you have a crush?”
I heard you the first time- why the- why are you asking me this? I don’t even know how to… how do I answer this question? I’ve never really had a big crush on anyone… so I don’t really know what this question is asking. What does having a crush on someone even mean?
“Uh… I guess so? I don’t know… why?”
“No reason, uh…”
She looked around after. I tried matching her eyes and saw her looking towards the right, so I glanced that way and I saw…
“ANNA!”
I yelled. She was sitting across the room, looking back at me. It seemed she was displaying hand motions, and after a bit of deduction, I realized she was trying to tell Caitlyn to do something. Whatever.
Caitlyn walked back to where Anna was sitting and I stayed in my seat. I wasn’t gonna walk over during class and start yelling at Anna. Yelling at people is terrible idea.
“What in the world did you just do?”
I walked up to Anna after class and started yelling at her. School had just ended, so I needed to get ready for the bus soon, but this takes priority. She looked up at me with her eyes lazy and tired and made a face that looked like she had no idea what I was talking about, but I was smarter. She obviously knew what she was doing to me.
“Hmm?”
“I asked what are you trying to do?”
“What- do you not like what I’m doing?”
“That’s true.”
“Why not? Don’t you like Caitlyn?”
“No! I’ve known her for less than a month, how could I possibly like her?”
“You think she’s cute?”
“Huh?”
“Yup, and now you’re complaining to me now that you need help dating Caitlyn. And that’s where I come in to help you.”
“Woah, woah, stop, no I’m no- help me how?”
“I’ll help you get with Caitlyn.”
“But-”
“Oh, what do I want in return? Um, make her happy, I guess. Okay? Okay.”
She left the class. She left me standing there. I felt my rage building and was getting ready to chase after her, but when I turned for the door, it was a different girl waiting there.
“Caitlyn?”
“Oh, hi.”
She looked down. I made a confused face, and walked closer to her.
“Uh… are you waiting for someone?”
“Yeah. You.”
I-
“What? Why?”
“I wanted to talk to you…?”
Uhhhhhhhh what
WHAT WHY DOES SHE WANT TO- I-
It’s okay, just, distract yourself. Try to pretend that you feel nothing for this girl, because you don’t.
“Oh, that’s great.”
She looked at me with a big squint and smiled. I don’t know if that meant I was sarcastic enough, or if it meant I wasn’t convincing at all.
I grabbed all of my things and started to exit the class, and saw as Caitlyn followed after me.
“Has Anna… said anything about me to you?”
I figured that might be a good thing to say. It’s a topic we’re both familiar with, and one that I’m scared of.
“Nope.”
She said that with the most obvious lying tone ever. I’ll bet Anna’s told her millions of times that I’m ‘so in love with her’. I wouldn’t put it past Anna to go even further lengths than that, honestly.
“Okay, thank god. I mean, whatever.”
“Has she said anything to you?”
Uhhhhhhh
“Nope.”
I used the exact same tone Caitlyn used to answer my question. She smirked at that, maybe that was funny. Anyway, I wasn’t technically lying, as Anna was ‘just kidding’ about Caitlyn liking me. Caitlyn and I have barely even talked anyway. I don’t care if she likes me, it doesn’t matter! I also definitely don’t like her!
“I definitely don’t like you.”
WHY DID I SAY-
“What?”
“Nothing, I said nothing. Shut up.”
“Uh, wow, rude. I didn’t even say anything.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
She smiled after I said that. About what? Was she trying not to laugh at me? Did I look funny?
“Oh, by the way, nice job paying attention on the first day of school.”
She remembers that?! She- she’s testing me! That little- she’s not gonna know what hit her after I launch my next attack!“Wow, thanks so much!”
That had to have been the most sarcastically dramatized sentence I’ve ever said. Who taught me how to use sarcasm, you may ask?
Myself
“That was terrible sarcasm.”
She better stop now.
“Oh, and you can do better?”
“Yeah, I can do way better sarcasm than you.”
Nope. I know exactly how to defeat her. Just one word is all I need.
“Okay, well, you’re so beautiful.”
She raised her eyebrows. Yes, a victory for me!
“Aww, thanks, you mentioned that earlier!”
I flushed. She was teasing me. She remembered what I said to her? Why? That’s not a victory for me!
“Wh- shut up! That’s not what I-”
“Mmhmm, sure.”
“You’re really annoying, you know that?”
I gave up and started using insults. Not my fault she used a dirty trick.
“That isn’t sarcasm- do you give up?”
“Of course not.”
“Aren’t you the one who challenged me?”
“Whatever.”
"You say that a lot, huh?"
"So… nothing.”
“Uh, okay.”
“‘Uh, okay.’”
She mimicked me.
“Hey! That’s dumb!”
“You’re dumb!”
NO WAY SHE JUST SAID THAT
“No I- Shut up!”
“You shut up, dummy!”
WHAT DID I EVEN SAY THAT TIME
“You- just- you- whatever.”
“Ha, I win.”
No, you don’t. I glared at her.
“I'm a car rider, so I have to leave here."
She pointed down the hallway towards the exit. I didn’t use that exit since I rode the bus, so I had to exit the building from a different location.
“Thank god, you’re finally leaving.”
“Now I don’t have to be near you.”
I stuck my tongue out and closed my eyes, making the ‘nnnnnn’ noise. I don’t know if she did it back, because when I opened my eyes, she was gone.
Wow. She was incredible. Wait, I mean no. She’s not. At all. She's... incredibly dumb. Ha! Uh, uh, uh, I’ve gotta get on the bus, I don’t have time talking about girls.
So, she rode home in a car.
Great, great. I rode home on the bus.
Great, great. We would never leave the same way as each other, it seemed.
Great, great.
Wait. Not great. I would have less time to talk to her. No. That’s not good.
Wait, no, I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t like her. I’ve mentioned this. Duh.
I walked towards the opposite hallway. I was smiling. Accomplishment: Talked to a girl for a solid… 3 minutes! Wow!
Ugh, Caitlyn’s already getting in my head.