x
Honey was no more forthcoming when I visited her, and when I got home, I felt as if I'd slammed my head repeatedly into a brick wall. "None of them are yielding information beyond saying I've no right to my daughter," I reported. "They're doing it to spite me, since I'm 'refusing' to do the right thing and go back to a pack who treated me like dirt because I wasn't my mother's daughter, whilst also being my mother's daughter."
Lindsay sighed. "Then there's nothing we can do for now," she guessed. "And we're still no closer to finding out why the other cubs have been taken as well. Bargaining chips, I'll wager."78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHOstHID0F
"Most likely," I agreed. "I'm going for a swim to clear my head. Maybe something will come to me."
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXCCiut16a
It was a dark, warm night, and the cicadas were singing lustily as I slipped my towel off and jumped into the pool, letting the cool water close over my head as I sank to the bottom. I had no real certainty I'd get any ideas, but I did feel better for being deep underwater, the one place where I could forget my pain for a little while - at least until lack of air forced me back to the surface. But when that did happen, I only stayed above water long enough to get in a few good breaths before going under again. The surface was too painful; being underwater provided the solace I needed to keep me from giving in completely to the despair that threatened to overwhelm me. 78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLwo1JRoew
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuo9FPj3LD
It became easy enough to forget my worries when I had to make a desperate swim for the surface from the deep end, trying to conserve what little air I had left before I ran out entirely, often surfacing with a gasp as I fought to get my breath back, treading water as I breathed deep to flush the excess carbon dioxide from my system before going back under again. But those desperate moments also reminded me that I was struggling for air on the surface as surely as I did underwater - the only difference being that, on the surface, the worries stayed with me, taking the breath from my lungs as surely as submerging myself did when I stayed under too long. And they couldn't be dispelled as easily with a few deep breaths. This pushed me to try and stay under as long as I could, trying to drive the worry from my mind so it wouldn't drown me from the inside, even while I was in peril of drowning from the outside.
Finally, I gave up and hauled myself onto the deck before grabbing the towel and drying myself off. That done, I threw the towel on a banana lounge and myself on a deck chair, staring up at the star-filled sky. There was no moon tonight, so the stars shone twice as brightly, but I wasn't cheered by this sight. It simply reminded me that my toddler daughter was being held prisoner by her crazy cousin, all because our mothers had fallen out over Dad. Faith had no viable reason to keep my daughter from me, save as petty revenge, and as I lay on the deck chair, I prayed that someone would be able to rescue my daughter, and all the other cubs currently being held by Faith. If I did so, Faith would likely have Leanna killed out of spite, if she didn't do so eventually. The more likely option would be Faith raising Leanna to hate me, and I added another prayer, that Leanna would remember who her real mother was, and not let her insane cousin try to take my place and brainwash her into believing I was a bad person. I'd committed no crime, save for being my father's daughter, and as I got up, ready to head to bed, I prayed Leanna would be strong enough to resist Faith's wiles.
If not, there was no telling what might happen.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
