// 聯副繽紛版主題徵稿,題目「選擇的兩難」,文長 < 500 字34Please respect copyright.PENANAlTslPZ2YMv
34Please respect copyright.PENANAfMhEdcHf6C
34Please respect copyright.PENANAi2lz0wvZ1n
34Please respect copyright.PENANA3ewNBVL1my
那時,我確實感受到某種真切的絕望與恐懼感。34Please respect copyright.PENANA0jmXRE7yiC
34Please respect copyright.PENANArOPrdeZ8UO
-34Please respect copyright.PENANAItdU2xjOl8
34Please respect copyright.PENANAzHmq2YVkhj
人物自是我本人,時間是沒有課的星期三下午,地點是媽媽任教的學校辦公室,物品是主任的一只高級的青瓷花瓶,至於事件……34Please respect copyright.PENANArD1j0X8klg
小玩伴們一口氣跑光了,只剩我還在原地發愣。34Please respect copyright.PENANAecckAmDS4i
我嘗試冷靜下來,並分析現在的情況,可腦中千迴百轉,嗡嗡聲不絕於耳。34Please respect copyright.PENANAq43HoFjW7X
34Please respect copyright.PENANAZICJ3sK0Nz
有著某些誰,不斷說著「糟糕了」、「做壞事」、「汙點」、「身敗名裂」等等字詞,我的胸口像往內凹陷了一個深壑,有些呼吸不到空氣。34Please respect copyright.PENANAzZK33F4e0G
34Please respect copyright.PENANAhA5KFMJNp0
「怎麼會這樣……」34Please respect copyright.PENANAOXdOzoXSxo
34Please respect copyright.PENANAqbNmEWXwKX
小學三年級的沒事做小孩,就愛坐在有滑輪的椅子上滑來滑去,以為自己在溜冰場,卻忘記空間有限,那聲清脆的「框啷——」可是迴盪於每個人耳中。34Please respect copyright.PENANANLigIPNkb9
34Please respect copyright.PENANAuIX4XRDGwN
這情況完全不可逆,彷彿我殺了誰——34Please respect copyright.PENANAuChWRyAMWW
34Please respect copyright.PENANAG2e9BHJsVI
是了,那個花瓶就是我殺死的,散落出的土壤便是流淌一地的鮮血。34Please respect copyright.PENANAuM6f5fssdI
34Please respect copyright.PENANAM1J0Ctc2k2
剛好大人們都暫時外出的下午辦公室,就成為活生生的作案現場。34Please respect copyright.PENANAlma4ciA3Cq
34Please respect copyright.PENANAFQADJaOaL8
-34Please respect copyright.PENANAeCTgZSiLF4
34Please respect copyright.PENANAc3NNZtGsyY
我盯著花瓶的遺骸,認真想著自己該怎麼辦?34Please respect copyright.PENANANH0eGwKWmh
34Please respect copyright.PENANA3ToS0XOseq
就這麼丟著逃跑吧?不,不行,這樣馬上就會被發現的。快想啊!身為品學兼優、老師小孩、模範乖寶寶、行事秉持完美主義的我,必定能想出解法的吧?34Please respect copyright.PENANAU0iLYBh2rS
34Please respect copyright.PENANA9O3q9vNfFk
我用還有點發抖的手把辦公室前後門都拉上、鎖了起來,再小心翼翼而有些費力地拖拉著那只頗有重量、幾乎快與辦公桌等高的長花瓶。34Please respect copyright.PENANA3DFrnujNGv
34Please respect copyright.PENANA7bzH2bvHAq
我把從中間破掉的花瓶轉九十度後靠著辦公桌,讓沒有裂痕的那一面轉向外頭。因為破裂部分是完整的一大塊而非碎成小片,只要沒人移動,就能抵著辦公桌維持原貌,並將遺落在外的土仔細撿乾淨、鋪回花瓶裡,前後花了約莫半小時「清理現場」,結束後不忘將椅子歸位、清洗雙手。34Please respect copyright.PENANA0noHkH9bMy
34Please respect copyright.PENANATWTGEs3dKd
-34Please respect copyright.PENANAyqav54pcOq
34Please respect copyright.PENANA1c8nzHuyXQ
「沒錯,我處理好了,應該沒問題吧?」我想著。34Please respect copyright.PENANAIUdb1RhOwc
34Please respect copyright.PENANAhJmTZdKwny
但腦袋裡令人不安的嗡嗡聲換成了其它句子,直到離開學校前的那三個小時、在回家的路上都沒有消失。34Please respect copyright.PENANANyxU8wbowJ
34Please respect copyright.PENANAXXL8UIPLnQ
「媽咪……」我怯生生開口,迎來詢問的眼神。34Please respect copyright.PENANAG4YZ7OG3M7
34Please respect copyright.PENANApM2HtYlNTC
——辦公室裡是不是有裝監視器呢?34Please respect copyright.PENANA2XvlLymfyx
34Please respect copyright.PENANAQpTxKogffF
——我會從此被貼上壞小孩的標籤吧?34Please respect copyright.PENANA1tlO4BuArn
34Please respect copyright.PENANAKnhZQDCgdB
——但被發現的時候又要怎麼圓謊?說我不在有用嗎?如果問了其他人就破功了吧?34Please respect copyright.PENANAFsdjwa8C5w
34Please respect copyright.PENANAAyHbmv7trb
——那個花瓶應該很貴吧?34Please respect copyright.PENANAcrctL4pVjI
34Please respect copyright.PENANAHK4wo3SNRw
宛如落進幽深山洞,每往裡頭走一步,字句及情境便不斷回放,吞食挖掘著良心與不安。34Please respect copyright.PENANALrRoF6zdRa
34Please respect copyright.PENANA8OX0Gyw3N0
「……沒事。」我選擇壓下淹到喉頭的坦承。34Please respect copyright.PENANAWX4bny4YDe
34Please respect copyright.PENANAEBZZ2zLTwN
-34Please respect copyright.PENANAaDLi01mV5i
34Please respect copyright.PENANArnP4OTdHZW
坐在公車上搖搖晃晃的腦袋,嘗試把回音從腦袋裡甩去。34Please respect copyright.PENANAIJazk5kCgR
34Please respect copyright.PENANA7RmIjNRche
雖有些分不清楚,但不管是打破花瓶甚至嘗試掩蓋,從一開始就已經錯了、已經沒有辦法維持完美的樣子了,我選擇讓黑洞擴大,是否為成為一輩子的陰影呢?而我選擇說出來,是否還能得到原諒呢?34Please respect copyright.PENANAYI4qrGqqgf
34Please respect copyright.PENANAZe6dZtY7mD
那時,我確實感受到某種真切的絕望與恐懼感。34Please respect copyright.PENANAH800YpTxyz
34Please respect copyright.PENANAqaB8c3I7s0
-34Please respect copyright.PENANAzdiVfaQ9GS
34Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7TFGBtb0a
「媽咪……」下了公車,向前走了幾步的我停下來,「我……我打破了主任的花瓶,下午的時候。」托出艱難字句的我幾乎要嘔吐出來,頭皮微微發麻。34Please respect copyright.PENANA607FsLMmTz
34Please respect copyright.PENANAcpqQIn1Eym
「喔?這樣啊。」媽媽看著我,思索道,「這個就是你下午看起來怪怪的原因?」我才發現,原來自己的故作鎮定根本不堪一擊。34Please respect copyright.PENANAXi4jvBEcWU
34Please respect copyright.PENANACC7KhJlVgK
「那明天再去跟主任道歉吧。」媽媽說,「至於花瓶……,這兩天再找找哪邊有類似的賠給人家。」34Please respect copyright.PENANAWjmKoKmzjq
34Please respect copyright.PENANAUzyECNlc5K
我深深吐出一口氣,選擇面對這個黑洞。34Please respect copyright.PENANASk1Tf3hdrO
34Please respect copyright.PENANA2Gd5o1l4am
隔天,我扭捏地坦承犯行,主任當然沒放在心上,反而只關心我有沒有被碎片弄受傷,連花瓶也擺擺手叫我們不用賠,不過後來媽媽當然還是帶著我找了一只類似的,記得花了兩千元左右。34Please respect copyright.PENANArCXX95yLxm
而先前那些縈繞腦中的聲響與黑洞,也在不知不覺中消失了。34Please respect copyright.PENANAeiirQ3xLLr
34Please respect copyright.PENANA9tG6Gk5nGW
-34Please respect copyright.PENANAGllC5cO2AW
34Please respect copyright.PENANAjziFupabhy
現在想來雖不免一笑,可這事至今我卻仍記憶深刻。34Please respect copyright.PENANAk5pAY8BWmz
34Please respect copyright.PENANAyP5MijLDuH
在更後面的求學、工作路上,遇過他人狡辯、曲解、嘲諷、誣陷與不信任,方更深刻體會到,選擇承認錯誤這件事,從來都是不容易的吧。34Please respect copyright.PENANARqW3OztmoA
34Please respect copyright.PENANARdg9x2TZar
34Please respect copyright.PENANA5vzd8GpE04
34Please respect copyright.PENANADn3KVhcdqy
34Please respect copyright.PENANAVrQwcByhGf
34Please respect copyright.PENANATghfYf19Yk
===========34Please respect copyright.PENANA1goBgfGpao
34Please respect copyright.PENANAFae7c11J5G
以上是沒刪減過的原文,精煉內容反而花了比較多時間(汗)34Please respect copyright.PENANAm2etvLGbba