This week is going to be a tough one for me. I am not sure if I am ready. There are a lot of roller coaster rides going to be offered during this week. Even though I saw him in the park that day, I was unable to contact him in any way at all. There was a suddenness to it that prevented me from approaching him and conversing with him. Aside from that, I would also have to introduce him to my family who are already sceptical of the idea of me studying with him.
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I wore a blue dress. In fact, the same shade of blue was his favourite colour, as he wore it almost every day. There is a possibility that he may even compliment me today. There is no doubt that that would make my day.203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFskekcLouJ
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Dear Diary,203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpU3oXKeE8
He’s definitely gonna love me203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt3doQJFWg
In this dress.
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It is really imperative that I stop this, but...“Alena!” I shouted from my room and she came running, breathing heavily. I bit my tongue knowing her reaction to the reason for calling her early in the morning. I smiled and made her sit on the bed and I sat at a distance to keep myself safe from any of her beatings. I asked her about her thoughts on me and Phoebus studying together. As expected, she gave me a disgusted reaction and said that I need to know how to call people if there is no emergency. I extended my hand a bit closer to her, shot her an innocent look, and said that her thoughts are very valuable to me. As she knew she had no choice but to share her opinion with me, she gave up.
“ I am still confused. It would be better to study with him when he was only your crush but in reality he is your crush as well as your friend’s boyfriend Daph. This doesn’t seem to be a smart decision in my opinion, if it really matters to you.” she replied bluntly.
I was still waiting for her to give me some reason to study with him but nothing came from the other side.
“Alena, please help me. He has been forcing me to accept his proposal for us to study together. Now that I have accepted I do not know how to decline his proposal again. What will I tell him?” I had exhausted all my excuses. As if reading me like a book, he knew about my behaviour. This is since the day Bella introduced us.
“He has been forcing you? Are you sure?” Alena seemed a bit doubtful.
I gave her a look of shock.
“Of course. Why would you think I will study with him knowing everything about my feelings towards him?” I said hitting her shoulder.
My heart stopped a beat as she said, “Are you sure he is not into you?”
I wish.
“I am sure. But thank you for giving me such hope. Moreover, I hope he doesn’t because I don't want to be the one he cheats on with Bella.” I said with a pity smile which mirrored from the other side too.
“Bella? Your childhood friend? Uncle Doc’s daughter?” She asked as loud as she could.
How can I forget that Bella’s father is our family doctor too. I could not let her know that he was Bella’s boyfriend. I should not have said it. God! What have I done?
“No! not Bella. It's umm… It's Cella. Not Bella.” I gulped.
“Cella? What kind of name is that? What is she? Small chamber or what?” She laughed and I laughed sillily.
Thank God.
“I might get late for my college. If you excuse me and thanks for your suggestion.” I rushed out of the room, taking my bag with me.
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How could I say Bella’s name, even though it was a mistake? Alena could let others know too and then everyone would know what Aunt Doc would do.
My life is a mess.
In handling one situation I will definitely destroy another. I still don't know about that study thing. I made him wait for three days already and I don't even want to waste his time. I should cancel the plan but with what reason? I can agree but I do not know what will happen next. I will keep on thinking of Alena's words.
I should probably run back home.
I feel jaded. Even though I am not so popular in college, I feel kind of insecure of people like, they might talk about me lately. It's not like i do not know i am one of the nerdy girls in the college who avoid going to parties but its not because i don't want to, it’s because my parents do not allow me to. I have been lost in classes for the last few weeks and there is still a year left until our graduation. Do I literally need his help in studies? Well I know he is not good at studying but we should not think like that. He can be anything if he is the boyfriend of the very annoying friend i ever had or i only have.
I was probably sleepwalking the whole way to college until I crashed into someone. He was huge and perhaps like a brown bear. I do not mean like hair and all but the height, and kind of his skin colour. I am not being a racist by the way. He just turned with a frown face which became normal seeing me.
“I am so sorry! So sorry. It was my mistake. I was being irresponsible. I am so Sorry” I kept apologising until he stopped me by saying that my act was normal and it does happen with people sometimes. He smiled at me and I reciprocated it. He made me feel good. So it's not that I like him but he is different. Am I judging him too early? I just collided with him a few minutes back.
Ok, stop Miss Daph. You need to buckle yourself.
A warm arm came around me, fingers firmed on my shoulder.
“Is everything fine, baby?” A familiar husky voice instantly distracted me from the minutes of listening to that huge man.
“Phoebus? What are you doing here? How…” I talked and looked at him shockingly.203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx1xTfN1NF
“I saw you and thought you might need help. Are you fine?” he replied with a smile.
“Yeah I am fine. It's just you came all of a sudden. Oh, and I just mistakenly bumped into him.”
“Oh, hi I am Phoebus and you?” Phoebus took out his hand from the pocket while the other was holding me firmly.
“Hi, nice to meet you Phoebus. I am Amor.” The man said his name in a jolly way, shaking his hand with Phoebus's.
Amor is such a beautiful name. He is definitely comelier than almost the rest of America’s population but he doesn’t seem like one of the American boys. He is an outsider. He’s so damn good!
“Nice to meet you too, Amor. if you excuse us, we might get late for our classes.” Phoebus kept on holding me and seemingly dragged me inside the college with him.203Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliUykbVwcO
“What are you doing?” I asked in a low loud voice.
“I thought you needed help so I came to help you. You should not be wasting your time with such people. He didn't look safe.” he spoke without removing any eye contact.
“Did I ask you for your suggestion? I can see things myself and remember I can take care of the things on my own too. I do not need your help.” I spoke in a serious tone and removed his hand from my shoulder. I really need to avoid him and I guess I can.
“I am sorry but that was rude Daphne. I am being kind to you and you always treat me badly. I am always ready to help you but you always do something that hurts me. I thought we could be good friends but I do not think so.” he said.
I realised I was literally being rude to him since our first talk. I have never actually talked with him kindly. He has always been nice to me. Initially I was confident enough to stop crushing over him but now I regret it. I was regretting making him feel so miserable just to avoid getting too close to him. All I could do was just stare at him and see him walking away.
He kept on ignoring me the whole time in the class until I forcefully sat beside him in the last lecture. It was one of the most boring classes, I mean no one studies Anthropology and the professor never actually paid attention to people sleeping in his class. If I ever had a choice, I would never choose it but today it would be the best class. I was going to apologise to him.
“Good Evening everyone!” The professor greeted us warmly for the first time. It was definitely not him. I looked with full focus at the man and he was Amor.
Wait, what?
Amor!
I have definitely lost my mind.
Am I dreaming?
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