I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZElaihDzt
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCQm7AAlvo
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnMRlPst6T
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECOMVIRJKE
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYayMCOMDVv
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKTH9qsWlC
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcuexexXMd
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SUGZOuFn4
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTY1exArV6Z
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfGo5VDmVQ
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCrldhXOtn
His face brightened.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu7qahStI5
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsQSS0HTez
I nodded once and went back towards my home.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnC6V9J116
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0s2AOGP9yG
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOelhoBMAkv
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcexBjCcYZ
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZrMxKcKSI
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHq4c5lbJe
“Hi baby.” said my parents.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhrhbGiJf1
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQGP6M7wzn
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuccxDuC6e
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1c3Ns6tLp
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOhWZOuTDW
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37bARgwo1R
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJic3m0LUP
“I had to ask something.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUtL78LSnl
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqFLT3A1uN
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcEbxnyYvg
“What?” Mother asked.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKCQ2LFUsx
I realised I mixed up things.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLdCvrkTU3
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWzkkqSRMd
“Sure you can go.” my father said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekqbsCspCm
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2olbTdc7fn
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnsyt2hWnS
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhPPcolDtb
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrcONDu66n
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZu8sNjUxvN
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAo7zRfF1FQ
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80GuAuKk1q
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThqcZWe3sG
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjT4Wnrfll
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA2bb4Dzb8
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7qS5xwgZ3
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN0u1qhvKJ
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9Zt2FsHaE
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonAlxHP58a
Oh dear mother of mine!222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ7hwN9ywv
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQ8MuamFJ5
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9E7fBVw6z
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6PEl6yp5J
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4icduNTxAJ
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNevXXsCyP
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BiSIsJN8p
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhKOTZfGrd
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNpFxm9wWk
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvJ0GbihPP
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxDrShM9iZ
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0pIoA99s1
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgtmm19iTl
Strange.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdKpj8UCxh
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHb9rhfzyp
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsA8GmV6Ci
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZYRou5rEu
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtU1cRX7lIW
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXLq02bCtj
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAutT1bkQi
“Who?” He asked.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3O0uapVu3
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLX44HkOYx
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU6qGWS7pE
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUb50rVlyV
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP5ueaHMxm
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGByYpcYVly
“What?” he asked, concerned.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWupQguQIvT
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfexlZDcMBC
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU1MZzwvzU
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXh2JDa42dJ
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN2x0xn9Hx
“Yes. A younger brother.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtffhjrmGw
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U3gNaLJqU
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsIlumUAM4
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTQCe1fUqd
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE7tJEk2TM
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgxFek1dfl
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvQ3ec9wgF
“What are you doing?” he asked.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O2K4CdTiI
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsi9usU6Gpb
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOIwlc2xkt
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKetwLRklXQ
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzX44kdgtpH
Everyone was looking at us.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpKV7z55C0
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPumWG3mo6t
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1RTS5fDUF
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJBREyCNog
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZDbBtcxLk
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7iYjyKYMR
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9uPFgNVsF
I went near him.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MWJUzigT3
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2gnfBrwJc
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqlecZ8K2z
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eW4ks6B3T
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJvATzmBOg
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqeWpH0PdE
I asked his real name.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnphh43KhU
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUpyZXxxUG
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYDryt2sIh
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡporsj02NK8
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQChn4McP0r
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8JAATXs7q
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkTEIKvr67
“Why me?” I asked him.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN3UUwm77h
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5Anpm1qyC
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOu9an3zOeo
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7ApxZGDxR
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTcwWE9mCM
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgBYCvD46S
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCyYVrrcJM
Dear Diary,222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHPROHPv0I
I hope you don’t but,222Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDo0O5e1Pj
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
