I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoV7aOt17q
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04NMFfv58b
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmhYPBaNlC
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQjjCnla9j
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbKdvwA4wY
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ljkh6j68O
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhjaMwSFlx
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgWnUM79G3
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QaqMrPUu3
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3eux2ZWPL
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN6w1VVgbk
His face brightened.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGKveTk1RI
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0P0zVMqxW
I nodded once and went back towards my home.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIruQAsHJwS
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXsdYrEs3K
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwCIVls9Qy
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sXCiYXW2W
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XyTscmp9k
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnPGsWZXSF
“Hi baby.” said my parents.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgSI1Ul7N7
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgZgSedxas
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDfq6M6DBi
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj5JX1RQiq
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9MN09dYeM
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbz9dLAIMc
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSD9NtbWyS
“I had to ask something.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvo9HldRUI
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyqCEjPpyD
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi9FXfhVIt
“What?” Mother asked.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQvhj5dFjn
I realised I mixed up things.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gXJa0BgGT
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRx3wx1zT2
“Sure you can go.” my father said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12RRkn6hBB
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW4fbZhU3M
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgkoN1Awwl
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswu320oSTB
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vsA7do7yX
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CzWSgkXg2
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW15fHXAy57
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCHeYexAoh
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbb5oXc2So
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhI8bz85st
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsrU5cc29D
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvONO7zGY8
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgghbgldco
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWahGq2XIZ
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKl4otApZL
Oh dear mother of mine!240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwonA9grXrq
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfL44WVPdK
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSayxQtFzGG
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9oyG3QcRW
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSjHD7VqSp
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiesWyBog1
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PFCUSpFxd
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOrxcBV75i
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6r96TZWykc
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8436h5izc
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PuHt8BVg9
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY8ilhUHHZ
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXSxFGXlN1
Strange.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7SBhtEcdz
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9LIdrIJ8z
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZdDLynDhI
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMHwM9f5hb
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgtwMYgCZD
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WFZOenDym
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3xeL3H3nz
“Who?” He asked.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzJV3ngOZx
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtV7xKeLwF
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleaf1dA4Po
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJi9H6tTWf
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5s3cR6MiG
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZeeP3gu8n
“What?” he asked, concerned.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDBblhnrFl
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8jO7djXwV
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpZQUeqSnO
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtYLVafVcw
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvaJ2hfPfR
“Yes. A younger brother.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjHK0NYnkA
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LoRm4SXV7
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNVB627ExW
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVNXuMotCm
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaJQXHYYbI
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUXnlXLRo0
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw63DgB2o2Z
“What are you doing?” he asked.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7fH81LUix
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCvhRQRdHw
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn4a3k8RzT
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUu2vC24XjR
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL9m8uThIP
Everyone was looking at us.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlomShzXo8p
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYVqhE8UM4
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68o78JYGRP
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LOBVZHTBL
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAXZ57Fc6m
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUat7xLM6H3
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A80eHgXJl
I went near him.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtimJIrfWR9
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9PgTdpSL8
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlFkRtKLoC
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RunzGV5qM
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2io3TMVD5
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvkIp1NqlA
I asked his real name.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvj6dKIPtA
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDOrUYpgyq
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAsjECIFJ1
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj93PiDXmo8
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sXFnzC5ng
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qH5suVTSx
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1oEZwQczK
“Why me?” I asked him.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxVYV9VkAM
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MYq6CwsQL
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4RRU6mYAX
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh4rm2ZXc0
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhsyZEaAS4
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVK7bhYi4v
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGUtbtBDLE
Dear Diary,240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsahdTzV02Z
I hope you don’t but,240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpU8Dl96t9c
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
