I'm a horrible person.227Please respect copyright.PENANAqruny3fMgu
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.227Please respect copyright.PENANAgXQKBkEqhi
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.227Please respect copyright.PENANAdG6Ya6qIf4
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.227Please respect copyright.PENANAGcwsUDjIdX
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.227Please respect copyright.PENANAkRt8AjrQTh
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.227Please respect copyright.PENANA65db3FbBfX
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.227Please respect copyright.PENANAIRHTiw4xpj
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.227Please respect copyright.PENANAukov18zqpI
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.227Please respect copyright.PENANA4fHZTppxNg
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.227Please respect copyright.PENANAjH6wIY0uvh
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.227Please respect copyright.PENANAuYMyOOWJCk
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.227Please respect copyright.PENANA9gDvYnma4m
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.227Please respect copyright.PENANA5oNUXd8EFB
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.227Please respect copyright.PENANATfvNTkmtzW
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.227Please respect copyright.PENANALL6Pyl8q5W
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?227Please respect copyright.PENANA0kxxQrGLqA
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.227Please respect copyright.PENANA3mFIUZyfix
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.227Please respect copyright.PENANA9miTOwlXkt
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.227Please respect copyright.PENANAwjIXYh2BbZ
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.227Please respect copyright.PENANAxwCxSjkoYK
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.227Please respect copyright.PENANAeCyxLBPV8V
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.227Please respect copyright.PENANAAQDY9cIh89
Of being lonely.227Please respect copyright.PENANANuXWfNiGId
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.227Please respect copyright.PENANAlhXBGhWJjD
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So I take comfort in my own world.227Please respect copyright.PENANAsRagsbNMvX
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.227Please respect copyright.PENANAqpNfCBbJUp
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.227Please respect copyright.PENANABjwn3nM0m2
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.227Please respect copyright.PENANA1TafXr6XKd
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.227Please respect copyright.PENANAYDYDJDixvV
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.227Please respect copyright.PENANAcREHAE8geN
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I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.227Please respect copyright.PENANAPGgIYPNWF0
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?227Please respect copyright.PENANAHVrp8slQT3
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.227Please respect copyright.PENANA69OTI5gzcS
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What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.227Please respect copyright.PENANA3Z7qlRgbp7
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.227Please respect copyright.PENANAf5ocIBz6Z3
I shouldn't even have been born.227Please respect copyright.PENANAVtD8FWoyK9
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.227Please respect copyright.PENANAfpM10XhXPf
....227Please respect copyright.PENANAxvyNno5UKX
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