TW: this episode contains mentions of self harm and suicide if these kinds of things are triggering to you please skip passed the warning written in bold and go to the "end of TW" in bold349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFe58VDS64q
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Sam woke up the next morning in his bed.. Alone.. Rays of sun beamed through his window. He picked up the mini clock around his neck and checked the time; 10:30 AM. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, yawning. He opened the door in his room to go to the kitchen and get water, but was met with Wilbur.
"Sam-"
"Wilbur," Sam cut Wil' off and pushed passed him.
"Sam please- I'm- you have to understand I- I'm just worried about you- Sam-" Wilbur began. Sam began walking to the kitchen, not listening. "Look, Sam- I-"
Wilbur paused, thinking.
"Sam, I'm sorry-" Wilbur finally spat out.
Sam stopped walking and turned to look at Wilbur, crossing his arms.
"I'm listening,"
"I wasn't thinking last night.. I shouldn't have lashed out- just- I'm worried about you- I can't stand when you get hurt and- you- well- you weren't being safe last night," He continued.
"Wil'- Foolish would never hurt me," Sam replied.
"I know- I just- I'm protective- and I love you- and I'm sorry," Wilbur said. Sam was quiet. He walked closer to Wilbur and wrapped his arms around Wilbur, hugging him.
"I love you too.. It's okay," There were tears in the ender's eyes, slightly stinging his skin. Wil' looked down at the younger, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"I'm sorry I didn't know those little details about you as well-"
"It's fine"
"No- no it's not- we've been together for years now- I should've known," Wilbur insisted. Sam just sat there in the embrace for a moment.
"I'm gonna shower-" Sam said, pulling away. Wilbur allowed Sam to walk away, but not without a pang of hurt in his heart.349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76NWBAGNcp
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TW: self harm and suicidal thoughts
Sam wasn't thinking straight.. Not at all.. He sat there, crying in the shower, holding a sharp razor-blade in his hand. He was aware of how protective Wilbur was, and that scared him sometimes. His mind was racing with intrusive thoughts.
"Would it be better if I were dead?"349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQDEimZWoT
"It would.. Wouldn't it?"349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlNS7Vnrri
"That's make things easier on everybody.."
Sam took the razor-blade to his wrist. He'd count..
1..
2..
3..
4..
until he lost count.. 349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpX1J76WNL
Blood washed down the shower drain. Sam felt himself slowly losing consciousness. He must not have realized how long he had been in there because the last thing the ender remembered was Wilbur rushing into the bathroom and picking him up. Before everything went black..349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAygtGI28D8
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End of TW349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jzgkrQfFV
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Chaos flashed everywhere.. Screaming could be heard everywhere you ran.. Sam couldn't see much, but what he did see was an unfamiliar place. It was dark and there were lots of stars. He could see people in the background running in panic and fear. A dragon, trying to fend for itself and its people.. There was a couple.. The couple had a baby.. The mother seemed to be carrying the baby. The couple was running through the chaos, trying to make it to what looked like a portal. An extremely unfamiliar portal. It wasn't like the one to the nether Sam had seen hundreds of times.. It was white and blue and green.. It had eyes inserted in dark holes.. Sam watched as best as he could as the mother handed the baby to a woman. But she wasn't a normal woman.. She appeared to be a goddess. She wore a mask with a smile on it and most of what she wore was green. He watched the mother say something to the goddess, but couldn't quite make out what she was saying. Then the dragon Sam saw a few moments before crashed into the ground, knocking the mother and father over. Sam watched as the goddess jumped into the portal with the baby. Following after the goddess was a god. He also wore a mask with a smile. His eyes glowed a bright green as he broke the portal. The last thing that could be heard were the screams of the mother and father in agony.
Then he woke up..
Sam woke up in a familiar room.. Once again- it was Techno's room. He was surrounded by people. He began to recognize the people. Tommy, Tubbo, Phil, Wilbur, Fundy, Ranboo, Niki, and Techno.. Everyone had their heads down. Wilbur was holding Sam's hand- he seemed to be crying.. Techno looked up at Sam, eyes widening as he noticed he was awake.
"He's awake!" Techno exclaimed. Everyone looked up.
"I'll go get the others" Niki said, rushing out of the room.
"God, Samuel- what was going through your head?!" Techno asked, not really mad- he was more worried than anything. Sam looked at Wilbur, to which Techno followed his eyes, "Wilbur what the fuck happened?"
Wil' looked up at Techno,
"What? Techno what the fuck are you talking about, mate?" He asked, confused.
"Well- you were with him! What happened?!" Techno repeated, getting impatient.
"Tech- stop- it's fine-"
"Sam- it isn't fine- you don't just- you've-" Technoblade seemed to struggle with his words. He brought his voice down to a whisper- this wasn't intentional, though. His voice was breaking and he was trying to mask it, "you've been clean for 3 years.."
Sam looked away from Technoblade.
"I know.." He admitted. The worry in Technoblade's eyes grew stronger as he realized the severity of this situation. He turned his attention to Wilbur,
"Wilbur Soot- I swear to fucking XD, if anything happens to Sam on your watch- I- I'll- y- you will not see the next day," Techno threatened. He then left the room, leaving Sam there with the rest of everybody. It was silent a moment, before Phil spoke.
"Y'know, Sam.. You died.. Again.." Phil began, "Your pulse disappeared for a few moments before coming back- and- Wil' mentioned something about you losing particles or something every time you die.."
Sam felt his nose sting as a lump formed in his throat.
"Did I..?" Sam asked. Phil nodded. Sam let out a pained sigh, "Three lives.."
Sam felt Wilbur tense up in the chair he sat in as he heard the words fall from Sam's mouth. Wilbur then stood up from the chair,
"I need a minute," Wilbur said, walking to the door, "Watch after him,"
It was a demand. He didn't exactly know who it was directed towards, but he knew that if anything else happened to Sam on their watch, they'd be fucking sorry. He left the room.
"What actually happened, Sam?" Phil asked. Sam looked up at Phil and glanced over to Fundy, whose ears were slightly perked up, though he looked down. He was listening closely, but didn't want to look like it.
"Wil' and I got into an argument last night," Sam replied. Vague, but to the point.
"How bad was it?"
"He yelled,"
"How loud?"
"I can still hear it,"
"Did you yell back?"
"My voice is hoarse,"
"What'd he say?"
"I'm trying to fuck everything up,"
Fundy looked up. He wasn't masking the fact that he was listening anymore.
"What?" Fundy asked, fury in his eyes.
"What'd you reply with?" Phil continued,
"I told him I wasn't"
"And?"
"He told me to show it,"
"Have you tried to show it?"
Sam nodded, "He said it wasn't enough,"
There was obvious pain in Samuel's voice when he repeated the cruel words that fell from Wilbur's mouth the night before. Fundy had heard about enough at this point.
"I've got a fucking word to have with my dad," he said before leaving the room,
"So it was a pretty bad fight, then" Phil stated. Sam nodded in response, "You know Techno's gonna kill him when he finds out, right?"
Sam nodded again. Niki then walked in with Puffy, Jack, Sam and Quackity. Fundy and Wilbur could be heard yelling at each other when the door opened, but only for a moment before it closed again.
"Sammie!" Puffy yelled with worry, cupping her hands around his face, "Are you okay, hon'?!"
Sam nodded.
"I'm okay, Puffy," Sam replied.
"Did they take care of your wounds?" Puffy asked, tapping on Samuel's arm. Sam knew she was asking if she could look, so he turned his arm for her to view, "Can I clean these?"
Sam nodded and then watched as she took out a first aid kit. She cleaned the wounds with hydrogen peroxide and alcohol. She then put scar cream onto the wounds and covered them with cutesy little band-aids. The hello-kitty ones, because she knew they were Sam's favourite. Puffy smiled at Sam when she finished, to which he smiled back in response. Sam sat up and looked at everyone.
"Are you really okay, Sam?" Tommy asked, attempting horribly to mask the concern in his voice and eyes. Sam nodded,
"I'm okay, Tommy,"
Ranboo took the moment to give Sam a hug. To which Tubbo then joined in. And then Niki.. And then Puffy.. And soon after Quackity.. And before we knew it, it was a group hug that Jack was last to join in. Everybody pulled away and gave Sam space.
"I'm sorry, guys- I was just under a lot of stress," Sam apologized.
"It's alright, Sammie- just- lives are serious business- you're down to three and you began your life with 10- so just.. Be more careful, please.." Phil replied.
"Foolish is gonna be so upset-" Sam said. "We just talked about me being careful yesterday-"
Fundy, Wilbur, and Techno then walked in. Wilbur and Fundy walked to opposite sides of the room.
"We should give Sam some space with Wil, Fundy, and Techno," Niki said, motioning for everyone to follow her out of the room.
"I've gotta get going back to the prison pretty soon here anyways," Sam replied, "Stay safe, Sammie,"
Samuel nodded and watched as everyone left the room.
"You two argued," Samuel stated when everyone was gone. Wilbur and Fundy looked up.
"Yeah," Fundy replied, "Well- If Wilbur didn't treat you like a complete dickhead last night then we wouldn't be arguing right now,"
"Shut the fuck up, Fundy- what the fuck do you know? You weren't there," Wilbur replied.
"I know what he told Phil, because everyone else was in the fucking room, including me," Fundy answered, visible irritation building in his voice.
"Wait- what'd he say?" Technoblade asked, looking at Sam. Sam didn't say anything, so Fundy spoke up for him,
"Sam told us that Wilbur and him got into an argument last night- long story short- Wilbur told Sam that he was trying to fuck everything up, Sam said he wasn't, Wilbur told him to show it, Sam said he's tried to show it and Wilbur said that it wasn't enough," Fundy stated, crossing his arms as he did so. Wilbur looked as if he could hit Fundy. Technoblade looked at Wilbur with death in his eyes.
"You said fucking what?" Techno asked. It was a rhetorical question.
"He apologized-" Sam immediately cut in,
"It doesn't matter if he apologized- he should've never said it," Fundy argued.
"Fundy, will you shut the fuck up?!" Wilbur yelled, making Sam flinch.
"Don't tell him to shut the fuck up!" Sam yelled back at Wilbur.
"Well he needs to shut the fuck up!" Wilbur yelled back, getting louder.
"Wilbur stop fucking yelling!" Fundy yelled at Wilbur.
"Don't tell what me to-"
"WILBUR!" Techno interrupted Wilbur, silencing him, "Both Sam and Fundy are sensitive to loud noise, if you don't shut the fuck up and stop telling everyone else to shut the fuck up, I'll make you shut the fuck up,"
Technoblade didn't even sound aggressive at all when speaking. He talked like he normally talked when threatening Wilbur.
"I'm sorry, okay? I've apologized and I meant it- I obviously didn't expect Samuel to relapse," Wilbur stated. Sam sighed,
"Nobody did- not even I expected myself to relapse," Sam replied, "but I did- and now we're restarting my road. It is what it is,"349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1RE6eoxut
Technoblade walked closer to the bed Samuel was sitting in and patted his head.
"It might not feel like it, Sam, but you know you'll get there again," Techno said, "you know you will,"
Sam smiled at Technoblade,
"I know I will," Sam whispered to himself..
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I'M REALLY SORRY FOR MAKING THIS CHAPTER SO TRIGGERING!! It's unfortunately probably gonna be like this for the next few chapters ]:349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZn55AcsKeW
I will still be putting trigger warnings in each chapter for each specific trigger, but until then- I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Much love!! <3349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVQU3Ih7H6
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