The light blinded me as I opened my eyes. A nurse was standing next to my bed as she was taking my pulse. I looked around and could see other children in beds. I figured that this must be a hospital. The pains I had in my legs and right arm confirmed that this was the right place to be. I wondered if I was dying, Maybe I had some bad disease that would slowly eat away at my body. As I looked at the nurse, I tried not to look afraid. If I was dying, then I would be brave.
The nurse smiled and told me that it was good that I was awake. She told me that they found me in a field. I was hospitalized but only had a few bruises and cuts. The nurse said that I was wearing a white robe and it looked like the ones they wear in nativity plays. I had no identification. She told me that the important thing was that I was not badly hurt. A social worker would visit me at some stage to ask my name and ask why I was in the field. The nurse smiled as she said it would be good to find my family so they can visit me.
I had lots of time to think when the nurse went. I was not so worried about my health as the nurse said that I only had cuts and bruises. What worried me was that I could not remember anything. I wondered why I was in the middle of a field. I could not remember my family. I could not remember anything about myself! What was my name? What was my age? What was my family like? Did I have friends? There were so many questions going through my head. I felt like there was a hole in my head, where all this information was locked somewhere. This made me worry if my memory was dead or if it would come back again.
The social worker came. She was an old woman and had a nice smile. She told me what the nurse already told me. I was found in a field wearing a white tunic and had nothing else with me. This meant there was no way of identifying me. When I told the social worker that I could not remember anything, her smile disappeared. She told me that they guessed that my age was 10 years old. This being said, the police said there was nothing that resembled me in the missing child files. No one contacted them or the hospital about a missing child. The whole thing confused her. The doctors told her that there were two scars under my shoulder blades, so I could have been at the hospital before. Then she smiled and said that in time, I would be with my family again.
A few days later, the social lady came back. This time I told her that I remembered my name. My name was Lourdes! I could not remember my last name, but at least I could remember my first name! The social worker told me that they could not find my parents. She thought that this was strange, as there was no missing child report that matched. I must have looked a bit worried, as she said that smiled and told me that she would not give up. She would find my family. Until then, she had no choice but to send me to a child's home.
I smiled and told her that I understood. After she went, I started crying. I was so afraid of being sent to an orphanage. It made me think of why my family did not search for me. They must have noticed that I was gone. I think that the tears were a result of everything going through my head. Why was I in that field? Why did my parents not look for me? What would it be like at an orphanage? The worse thing was that I did not remember anything except my name. I was now one of the unloved children in the world. This being said, when I looked around the hospital and saw the other children, I could see some were fighting for their life. I had to be brave and count my blessings.
The child's home was an old Victorian building. I was welcomed by a nice lady that told me she hoped I would be happy here until my family was found. The lady's name was Miss Rose and she talked a lot. She told me that the orphanage was full, but she wanted me to feel like everyone here was family. The orphanage did the same things as a family. As long as I did not mind being in a crowded place, then I should be happy here. Miss Rose finished by showing me my room, where I would share it with two other girls. One of the girls just came to the orphanage a few days before.
I sat on my bed when Miss Rose went. I did not have a clue what to do. I could explore the place, but I would most likely get lost. I was not alone for a long time. A girl came into the room and told me that she was one of my roommates. She told me that her name was Jenny. She was about the same size as me and had lovely long hair. She was also very pale and looked like she would collapse at any time. I just sat there as she told me about the orphanage and how it was to be here. She was happy being here, but she missed the hugs and attention that a mother could give her. I felt sorry for Jenny. I was told that the social worker would find my parents. Jenny had no parents and was an orphan at such a young age.
I told Jenny that I lost my memory, so could not remember a lot. The doctor told me that there was a chance the memories would come back. If this happened, then I would remember where I lived and who my parents were. Jenny smiled and suggested we play with her dolls. So we sat on the floor with her Barbies. I looked at Jenny and saw her changing the doll's clothes while I held one in my hand and looked at it. It was a bit confusing about what I should do with the doll. Jenny noticed this and asked me if I wanted to play something else. This question made me look at her in a confused way. Then she laughed and joked by asking If I even knew how to play. This made me remain quiet as I had no clue how to play. To be honest, I did not even know the concept of playing.
Jenny stopped smiling as she saw how confused how I was. She hugged me and told me that it would help when my memory came back. Then she told me that she hoped that we could be best friends. There were many children at the orphanage, but she did not have any close friends. Then she told me that she had a sickness that made everyone afraid to speak with her. Jenny could understand their fear. It must be hard to say something to a girl that was so sick that she could die any day. The sickness made other people feel uncomfortable and sad. In a way, I could understand why they felt uncomfortable. When Jenny announced that she was sick, I did not know what to say. I was asking myself what sickness she had and how serious it was but did not want to be nosey and make Jenny sad. I did answer that I was delighted that I had a new friend.
The day went quite silently. Everyone seemed so nice. It was a bit strange to see so many children that had no parents or were taken away from their parents. It was a bit sad to see so many children as victims of life. I did not want to see myself as a victim. One day my parents would be found, The children here could not say this. I noticed that the staff tried to make the home as normal as possible. They wanted everyone to feel like it was one big family.
I was relieved that the home was not as scary as I thought it would be. Everything changed when I was getting ready for bed. It was then that I met my second roommate. Her name was Laura and was the same age as Jenny and me. Laura was very tanned and not as nice as the other girls. She had seen the two scars on my back and teased that I was handicapped. Then she teased me about how weak I looked. The worse thing that she said was that she heard that I was a missing child and my parents did not even bother to look for me. She was cruel and I quickly put on my nightdress to cover my scars. It was very hard to sleep that night. When I did dream, it was about Laura constantly bullying me.
The next day, Jenny could see that I was sad and tried to cheer me up. I admitted that the two scars on my back were an embarrassment. I could not remember how I got them. This made me worry that someone tried to stab me before and kill me. Could it be my parents? Is the reason why they did not search for me because they did not want me? Jenny sat and thought for a while and then told me that everyone has scars. Some had scars on their body and some had scars on their souls. Laura had scars on her soul and spirit. I thought that Jenny was so wise. I had to agree with her. It was so sad that Laura was so mean and bitter. In a way, I felt sorry for her that she could not see the benefit of being nice to others.
I did my best to avoid Laura. When I could not manage to do this, she made my life hell. I did not understand how she had a talent for being mean all the time. Jenny was the opposite of her and always tried to cheer me up. I admired the way she always thought about others. After I got to know Jenny, I also could see what bothered her. She had two deep wishes. One of the things she wished for was that someday she would be adopted. She wanted some parents that would take care of her. Being an orphan made Jenny feel so unwanted and unloved. She did not feel special. Another thing that she wanted was to be healthy again. She was always pale and weak. I think that she was afraid that she would die. Despite that Jenny had her worries, she never complained. She was never jealous when she heard someone was adopted. This made me admire her more and more.
One thing that I hated at the home was chores. We helped do things like laundry, wash dishes, wash floors, dust and whatnot. Jenny did not have to do chores because she was never well enough to do them. I know that she wanted to do chores. She told me that it would make her feel normal. I hated the chores, and wish that the place was like Hogwarts, where we could use magic to do the chores. This was of course impossible. In reality, there was nothing such as magic or supernatural things. The staff there told us that chores help us be responsible, constructive and hard workers. Maybe there were right, I was sure that there was an easier way to do it.
There was one time that it was my job to mop the floors in the hallway. I worked hard and was proud of the result. The floors were shining as if they were new. When I was done, Laura appeared with muddy shoes on. Jenny was watching me work and saw the muddy shoes. When Jenny asked Laura to take off her shoes, it did not work. Laura danced on the newly washed floors. This made me nearly want to cry. After all the hard work that I have done, it was destroyed in a few seconds. While Jenny was asking Laura why she was always so mean, I did something else. I took the bucket of water and drenched Laura with it!
One would think that revenge would be sweet. It was not. I felt so bad that I lowered myself to Laura’s level and it felt as if I did something wrong. Jenny changed the subject and told me that she wanted to ask me something serious. She hoped that I would not laugh or think she was strange. It took her time to get the courage to ask, but she finally did. She told me that she missed having a family and never had a sister or brother. She wanted us to be sisters. I hugged Jenny and told her that was a great idea. We then decided that we would now be sisters for all eternity. Of course, Laura heard us saying this and told us we were being sentimental fools. Neither Jenny nor I cared what Laura thought.
The next day at breakfast, Jenny said something funny.
“Last night, “ She said, “When you were sleeping, you were sleeptalking. You said you were an angel from heaven”
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