"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUO2h0j0Gb
"Okay, bye."228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncfyyO9X6A
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tNdZq5qru
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPN7z6tfsY
At least until I return for another counseling session.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAp6FJxQ9kC
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDwS5aJBgQ
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN38gKd7Zr
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LyZG7Gug2
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BNGcsLkVH
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjdXOHDqqP
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bsHonHGPm
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJh27uptUa
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVRpmvNlom
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwL8G636nS
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpGE5BKdC5
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCUyOClOyL
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDEg4ewJMm
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1E9RdDra8
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFoHHSfjJQ
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ77hwgfBfO
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5sYbxudgg
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeCthgFd35
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdQHy9r4AD
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1GD7GtIC3
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpUq1uqajd
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UVquE7GN4
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xrC9bTZrd
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWjv6zWAU1
This is DEPRESSION.”
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9eD8kY791
228Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyU3IomMecZ
