"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkWrai9v1C
"Okay, bye."295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqYWcAPn0r
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjP4G6BrR8
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM91g2u5yAM
At least until I return for another counseling session.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEHobHkFsW
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbdZFZGwHt
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqskIjlCNFF
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDJXIPNwcd
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhapjbW5Y8
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AtCMe8Ce9
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTE4bCzH0g
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OiGdHKv4c
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uSkyekINO
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgv1xGZ83d
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy21DVVQj0R
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUKv7xgZYJ
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrNJKHoYeK
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEpENFcS9Y
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxwgHL8nSQ
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZ0jJvt8yY
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXv7GkNb5f
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1hxu5oDAr
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Rc8f2mS3v
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZh7VzSQQ6
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghpD6seRsq
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfjXg7TC2V
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESsjESaWOy
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfY9ADWCpY
This is DEPRESSION.”
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyZmh1V3RN
295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ScKB14CQR
