"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Be77SlPRu
"Okay, bye."220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRozo4KZSj
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZDXZijXlx
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3rZf9WNA1
At least until I return for another counseling session.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDepo5UC0B
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoxaOXdgib
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LjfuZs5Hi
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KlJ6uZRTF
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRtif1BEa5
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTF27bfgoV
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrtEbPeoFX
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b6kerwmei
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdA65jlxvuO
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxUBfxkw6u
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbE98x5muG1
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJ415dSRQN
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NmWDr9KGa
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEYLfbmG8F
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzewrXSftgj
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9lzJooYe4
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKgZjtt8MB
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJRVBxDLwH
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbE3TFFx2KA
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZjsPocnHr
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Rjpu74GFX
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2DIUksylC
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4qcEE4PMO
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHLqK5dHE7
This is DEPRESSION.”
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220Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5Uw9imcQp
