"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpvynuKw46
"Okay, bye."237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡee2vnr86wo
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKjdMyUchb
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43gSviv4zP
At least until I return for another counseling session.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXWnF7pC0u
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloQRcVS8U8
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3fIz8B2rb
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3JnTvv5wf
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOP8UvByfu
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKcvwW8lnz
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YB4Aj2jV9
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ894P89FrTG
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQxsnGv1ZI
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dZTGwFvg6
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLc05fF7wed
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVgxOCyDLh
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEV33KQId4
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpS0KhtBaH
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODHd6UZVO6
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QE5YTwiRH
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRpPRe8M7Q
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jndHGqLI5
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQBAI5L5Ub
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15jB3EI0nK
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBedKapK8TG
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI99AQ1ZTb
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAzUOnzwDC
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwuClROMjA
This is DEPRESSION.”
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL22G9s1qq
237Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeOvp4k4hU
