We three big men were drinking and chatting at the Kwun Tong Promenade. Kevin and Penny played the role of listeners, allowing me to express my hidden troubles without reservation. However, they did not try to provide "solutions," and at this moment, I didn't need any advice either.
Even if the road ahead is invisible and hope cannot be felt, sometimes in life, having good friends by your side is enough to change your mood and temporarily put aside thoughts of suicide.
(Can't think of a good way to translate 大男人, but big men doesn't sound right, nor does "macho")
As lovers strolled by us along the Kwun Tong Promenade, we drank and chatted the world away.
My outpouring tide of repressed emotion and hidden troubles could not be held back. Kevin and Penny lent me their empathetic ears, but they did not try to provide "solutions". And at this moment, I seek no advice either.
Even if hope is elusive in this long and winding road, there are moments in life when the company of true friends can uplift your spirits and give respite from the haunting thoughts of suicide.
To be honest, they have always cared about me, but because they are busy with their own things, we have rarely seen each other in recent years. In addition, I have too much to handle at work and with my family, so I can't find time to get together. Many times, we can only learn about each other's recent situations through social media.
To be honest, they have always cared about me, but our busy lives rarely afford us the opportunity to gather together. Instead, we rely on social media to catch glimpses of each other's recent situations.
Kevin loves basketball and is a fellow student in the same major as me. He works in a software company, mainly serving local small and medium-sized enterprises. Because of the size of the company he needs to do everything as a one-man-band for many projects. For example, in a recent data center relocation project, as a software person himself, he had to handle the work of network construction, network security, data migration, and relocation arrangements, which was extremely difficult. But these experiences have also trained and enriched him and allowed him to become a versatile IT person. So when I encounter difficult problems in my work that I am not good at, I also ask him for advice to see if there are any solutions.
Kevin loves basketball and is a fellow student in the same major. He works in a software company, primarily catering to local small and medium-sized enterprises. Due to the company's size, he often finds himself shouldering multiple responsibilities, a one-man-band for various projects. For instance, in a recent data center relocation project, Kevin, being a software expert himself, had to tackle tasks ranging from network construction and security to data migration and relocation arrangements. Undoubtedly, this proved to be an immensely challenging undertaking. However, these experiences have also honed his skills and broadened his expertise and turned him into a versatile IT professional. Whenever I encounter complex problems in my own work that fall outside my realm of experience, I turn to Kevin for advice and see if there are potential solutions.
Penny also loves basketball. In fact he chose his English name to be Penny because of his admiration for the former NBA star Penny Hardaway. As a fan of Stephen Chow's movies, he was originally an engineer. However, because of his persistence in his dreams, he gave up his high-paying and stable job a few years ago and became an apprentice barista with the goal of opening his own coffee shop. Both Kevin and I don't understand much about coffee, and we often laugh and say, "Whether it's black coffee or white coffee, as long as it can refresh you, it's good coffee." But we both admire and praise his courage to realize his dreams. Now he has his own coffee shop and is planning his second store, busy with designing and decorating.
Penny too is a keen basketball player, and he chose his English name because of his admiration for the former NBA star Penny Hardaway. A huge fan of Stephen Chow's movies, he loves quoting his lines in all sort of situations, always delivering them with impeccable comedic timing. And this never fails to bring joyous laughter to those around him. Despite initially working as an engineer, a few years ago Penny made the bold decision to abandon his high-paying and secure job in pursuit of his passion and dream. He embarked on a journey to become an apprentice barista. His goal? To open his very own coffee shop, in his own taste and style.
Kevin and I, lacking knowledge in coffee, often tease him, "Whether it's black coffee or white coffee, as long as it can refresh you, it's good coffee." Nevertheless, we both deeply admire and commend Penny for his unwavering determination to turn his dreams into reality. Now, Penny has successfully established his own coffee shop and is currently engrossed in the planning and decoration of his second store.
We were all busy with our own work and commitments. Now only because of Lolly's departure, we finally have the chance to get together and chat. After we finished off the dozen of beers that Kevin brought, we realized it was time to go home. I declined their offer to send me home and left alone in a taxi. Sitting alone in the taxi, I remembered the good times I had with Lolly and couldn't help but shed tears again. Fortunately, the driver was so focused on driving and acting as a "mobile taxi dispatcher" with the five phones in front of him that he didn't notice or pay attention to me crying.
We were all busy with our own work and commitments. It was only due to Lolly's departure, we finally had the chance to catch up. After we finished off the dozen of beers, we realized it was time to go home. I declined their kind offer to accompany me home, and left alone in a taxi. In the dark cabin, memories of the cherished moments I had shared with Lolly flooded my mind, evoking an uncontrollable surge of tears. Fortunately, the driver remained oblivious to my emotional display, his attention solely focused on navigating the roads and managing his five phones, which served as his makeshift taxi dispatching station.
It was already after 3 a.m. when I got home. I opened my mother's door and saw her sleeping back, feeling inexplicably sad.
By the time I arrived home, the clock had already struck past 3 a.m. Gently pushing open my mum's bedroom door, I beheld her slumbering form, the place shrouded by an inexplicable sadness.
"What reason do I have to live?"
For my mother?141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpx15JG76rc
I really don't know.
I live like a walking dead, with only work and taking care of my mother in my life.
I live like a walking dead, drained of all joy and happiness, left with nothing but the demands of work and the responsibility of caring for my mother.
Soon after, on the advice of Kevin and Penny, I made an appointment to see a therapist named Becky for regular counseling sessions. Of course I was alive, but every day, I felt like the main character in the first episode of the Netflix series "Orange is the New Black," feeling like everyone around me was trying to harm me, and I didn't have a true friend.
Following the advice of Kevin and Penny, I started seeing Becky, my therapist, for regular counseling sessions. Each passing day seemed to cast me as the protagonist in the inaugural episode of the renowned Netflix series "Orange is the New Black" - new in prison, everyone around was trying to frame me and push me further into despair, with not a true friend in sight.
At work, although I am not completely isolated, I only talk about work with my colleagues.
I feel like I'm living in an invisible, untouchable cage. This cage is not locked, and it should be easy to walk out of it. But this intangible cage can trap me.
It is as if I am confined within an invisible, intangible cage. It has no locks, and it should be easy to walk out of it. Yet it ensnares me, rendering escape seemingly impossible.
Until she came into my life.
On the next day after my seventh counseling session with Becky, I was late for work because of heavy traffic. Just as I entered the office, a young girl wearing a white shirt, dark jeans and a light blue knit coat smiled and greeted me. Her short curly hair was adorned with a delicate flower hairpin, her cheerful voice brimming with vitality.141Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwwnvIJSnU
"Hello, my name is Hana! Today is my first day at work, and it seems like I'll be joining your team!"
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