Warning: smut, angst, gay
Music fills the air; it fills his lungs; it fills his mind. He lives, breathes the music, the alcohol, the smoke. It is him as much as he is it, and as he sways, one in the mass, he doesn't know whose hands are slipping up his shirt, whose mouth presses to his own in a sloppy kiss, or whose voice is yelling in his ear. He doesn't care, though, and just loses himself in it all. He has nothing to lose; he has nothing at all, really. So, in the dim, smoky underground space, he allows everything but the music and the feelings of people to fade out to black. Then, it's all black.
"Luca! Luca, come on, wake up," a familiar voice rasps, thick with sleep. The sleeping male slowly opens his bleary eyes; the room is dark. Sunlight peaks through the edges of the curtain, though, and he groans. "Get up!" the voice snaps, and the hungover male sits up, rubs the sleep out of his eyes, and tries to keep from vomiting. What the fuck did he drink last night? World spinning, stomach lurching, he stands up and wobbles his way to the bathroom, a path he's long since memorized. Everything in him aches, but it's a delicious ache, even as he slumps against the cool bathroom tiles and fights with his heaving stomach.
"Ax, fuck, what's up, man?" Luca slurs as he looks up at his friend, blurry but obviously displeased. Axel sighs and places a cup of water along with some pills next to Luca; silently, he walks away. Luca shakily sits up, and, tossing the pills back with a practiced ease, he sips the water. It settles in his stomach, and its coolness spreads over his body. Humming, he wonders at the sensations in his body and the faint memories from last night, and as he drains the cup of water, his world begins to settle. Once its empty, he stands up and more steadily exits the bathroom to look around for Axel. The taller male stands at the kitchen, nursing a pan of bacon, and Luca grins widely, carelessly and crosses the living room to reach Axel.
"You're really fucking lucky to have me," Axel reminds the other male, his voice weary but tinged with warmth. Luca just grins and plops himself onto a counter; Axel sighs but leaves the male alone. They've been in this weird.. whatever it is for two years, now, and Axel has long since come to accept that what is his is also Luca's. Also, he can't deny how cute (and fuckable) the male looks like that, swinging his legs without a care, red hair messily ruffled, impossibly light blue eyes shining. Shaking his head, Axel returns to cooking breakfast.
"I really am, Ax. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a solid meal the entire week," Luca jokes, his smile wide and innocent, and Ax scoffs, trying to hide his worry behind exasperation. However, he knows Luca isn't really kidding; the redhead barely eats. It shows, too, and Axel feels a flutter of pity and worry every time he looks at him. They've known each for longer than just two years, but after a certain incident their freshman year of college, Axel has stepped up to take care of the reckless male. Saturday mornings like this have quickly become his favorite time of the week, and as he finishes cooking and plates everything up, he wonders how much longer he'll let this go on.
"You should just move in with me," Axel suggests, and Luca shrugs, the carefree look in his eyes dying a little at the question. He takes a seat at the table, though, and cheerily begins to chomp on his bacon, but his eyes seem more far away as he thinks about it. Really, he wants to--oh, God, how he wants to. It beats trying to find a new place to sleep every night because he's a fucking coward and his roommates hates his gay ass, and, really, it would be good for Axel, too (except it won't because he knows that Axel deserves better).
"Nah, I still have my dorm, man," Luca casually lies with a carefree shrug of his shoulders, and Axel just sighs before taking a seat of his own and eating. Luca's phone buzzes on the counter--once, twice, and a final third time before the redhead swipes it up, frustration evident on his face. Unlocking his phone, he scans through the new messages, expression falling as he reads them. Tossing his phone carelessly on the table, Luca returns to eating without sending a message back, and he ignores Axel's curious look.
Fuck Wyatt, honestly. Luca sighs and gives a side glance at the still-buzzing phone; shooting Axel an apologetic look, the redhead picks his phone and quickly heads outside the apartment without pausing to explain anything to Axel. Rolling his eyes, Luca unlocks his phone and quickly calls Wyatt up. "I'm busy, man," Luca groans, leaning against the wall by Axel's apartment door. Nobody else passes or peeks out; the hallway is relatively silent, except for him.
"Busy? Doing what? It's Saturday. You don't have anything better to do," Wyatt's raspy voice points out over the phone, and Luca rolls his eyes but can't really think of anything to say back. Wyatt continues saying, "Did you see how hard I was, Luc? For you. You don't want to-"
"Oh, fuck off, Wyatt. Why don't you hit up Alex?" Luca suggests, irritation evident in his voice, and Wyatt scoffs on the other end. Luca rolls his eyes and hangs up before anything else can be said, but his phone doesn't buzz. Heading back into Axel's apartment, he shoves his guilt down with a carefree smile, and he sits back down at his almost-empty plate. Axel looks... pained, almost, and Luca frowns but doesn't mention anything about it. They quickly finish their breakfast in silence, and as Luca washes the dishes, his smile slips.
He's fucked up again. It's the only thought pounding in his head, even as he scrubs the grease off of the plates, but Axel interrupts the steadily-declining thoughts by wrapping his arms around Luca's waist. Luca stops scrubbing for a couple of seconds, heart fluttering in his chest, and he knows a blush spreads like wildfire across his pale body as he slowly resumes scrubbing. Axel gives a happy hum and just rests there, lips away from Luca's neck, hips not rubbing against his ass--just still and content.
So nice. Even after Luca has finished washing the plates, he remains in Axel's arms. Unfortunately, though, he knows they have to move, so he turns around, only to be shocked by their closeness. Nervously laughing, Luca realizes how much taller Axel is than him and wonders when this happened; didn't Luca used to be the taller one? He doesn't know why he can only focus on height, not how absolutely breathtaking Axel's honey brown eyes are up close, but he figures that it's probably better to not focus on how beautiful Axel is.
"I hate to ruin the moment, but I have a date at two," Luca whispers. He doesn't know why he lies as much as he does, but it's a habit, he figures. A defense mechanism, really, and it gets Axel to back away from him before he does something stupid and kisses him. Still, the hurt in Axel's eyes makes his heart writhe, and he falls over himself in an attempt to fix the situation. "But, um, it's just a casual--you can come. Double date? Super casual kind of thing, like no hand-holding even. We're just going to eat, like, carrots at a park," Luca rambles, unsure of what he's even saying. Carrots at a park? What the fuck? He doesn't back down from he says, though, and keeps a straight (and hopeful) face as he stares at Axel, who looks like he's about to laugh.
"Well, I have always thought that carrots taste much better at a park," Axel teases, and Luca laughs. The sound is melodic, as cute as the redhead looks, and Axel can't resist the smile that spreads across his face, even if jealousy burns deep in his heart. The double date idea amuses him, and even though he can tell that Luca is lying, he decides not to press him further and just goes with it. If there's anything he's learned during his time with Luca, it's that lies are sometimes better than the truth.
"Great!" Luca chirps, and as he passes by Axel, he smiles even wider for some reason. It fades away slightly as he begins to think about who he wants to invite, and he decides to scroll through his contacts in an effort to find some people. "Gay or straight?" the redhead casually asks, not even glancing at Axel, and Axel jerks slightly in shock. Not that he really should be; Luca, as silver-tongued and teasing as he may be, does have a tendency to be blunt unless it otherwise pleases him.
"Gay," Axel answers quickly. It still feels odd to him--it really wasn't until senior year in high school that he suddenly paid attention to his sexual preferences. Years of religious homeschooling had left him sheltered, and when urges swept through his body, he didn't really have much of a chance to explore them. Meeting Luca as a junior had stirred something in him, but it wasn't until a year later, walking in on Luca giving one of his best friends a blow job, that he realized what that feeling was. After that, the veil had been shattered, and any fear of repercussions faded, replaced by a need to know. Now, three years and two boyfriends later, he can't deny his sexuality, but he also remembers the years of planning out the future--his heterosexual future.
"Ax? You good?" Luca questions, looking over at the zoned-out male, and Axel looks wide-eyed at Luca before remembering where he is. Axel smiles, and he sheepishly runs a hand through his dirty blond hair. Luca's phone buzzes--both people are good to go. Fantastic.
"Yeah, yeah, just thinking. You should probably shower," Axel notes, and Luca's eyes brighten as he nods. While Luca prepares to shower, Axel settles onto his dark blue couch, and his mind returns to his previous train of thought. It was a shock, really, to discover his sexuality; he felt like his future shattered before his eyes. A shameful conversation with his parents erased most of those ideas, but while their support was amazing and needed, he still felt... incomplete. That is, until he talked to his apparently-bi best friend and realized that nothing changed, really, except for the gender of his future spouse and the origin of their children. So what?
Now, funnily enough, the first person to make him question his sexuality is the same person that has wormed into his heart, and Axel is in the exact same situation of just watching Luca with other people. Axel's own fault, really, since he won't say anything about his feelings, but he knows Luca--Luca doesn't stick around when things get sappy. He bounces, and Axel needs to be here for him. Who else will do any of this for him? Only Axel.
"Man, it's going to be a long day," Axel sighs, and he turns the TV on to distract himself from everything else, including the sound of the shower. He can't deny the thrill of arousal that bolts through him at the thought of Luca, naked, in the shower... he hasn't even seen the redhead shirtless. Jealousy ignites, burning alongside the arousal, and his thoughts slowly get overwhelmed by images of Luca, naked and panting and so hot under him, red, swollen lips parted in groans and swears, blue eyes dark in lust and pleasure, red hair even messier... fuck. He groans and thumps his head against the back of the couch, and with a sigh, he quickly retreats into his room to take care of his sudden arousal.
Thankfully, he finishes up and hides the evidence before Luca steps out of the shower, and Axel breathes out a sigh of relief. Shaking his head, he decides to just change, and as he tosses his dirty clothes into the hamper with the rest, he hears the shower turn off. Muttering a curse under his breath, Axel rushes to try and dress, but Luca hurries up and bursts through the door anyway, He has an overly large longsleeve on and a towel wrapped around his hips, and even though Axel just finished, he almost feels aroused again before remember he's buck-ass naked.
"Oh, sorry, Ax! I'm just going to grab some clothes," Luca chirps, seemingly unaffected by the other's nakedness, and Axel watches, baffled and almost insulted, as Luca quickly picks out some clothes and skips his perky ass out the door. As soon as the door swings shut behind the redhead, though, Luca's carefree expression fades into one of shock of nervousness, and he ducks back into the bathroom to change. The towel falls to the ground, and Luca ignores his growing arousal to get dressed in boxers and ripped burgundy skinny jeans.
What can he think about other than how hot Axel is? Swallowing thickly, he remembers that he has mascara and eyeliner over here, and with a nod, he decides to focus on that instead. Perching up on the counter, he opens the door just to feel less trapped, and his nervous arousal slowly fades as he focuses on doing his make-up. But fuck, he how did he not realize how hot Ax is? He bites his lip, and he wonders when the last time he fucked someone he just really found attractive was. Hell, half the time, the other person is just a blur, or it's too dark.
His life is pathetic. Chuckling hollowly, he finishes up his make-up and just stares in the mirror, wondering how the hell it got to this point, but Axel pops up in the mirror behind him before it can all spiral to hell. Luca flashes a smile at the reflection, and Axel nervously smiles back. There's a tension between them, but Luca erases that quickly by turning around and staring up at Axel. "We have a couple of hours before we have to be at the park, wanna watch a shitty movie?" Luca suggests with a wide smile, and Axel gives a sigh of relief before nodding.
"You pick," Axel demands as he settles on the couch, and Luca knowingly nods as he settles right next to Axel. He flips through the channels before settling on a promising one, and the two poke fun at the movie as they slowly lean more and more against each other. By the time they have to leave, Axel's head rests in Luca's lap, and Luca carefully runs his fingers through the soft locks. The two almost forget about the world outside for their time together, choosing to ignore the upcoming date.1543Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYBeF51Os2
