《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5Trbe9yJX
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndYK2D3FTp
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問我為什麼？280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmj6eNKCcfU
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原因很簡單。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6FucHRPdn
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因為我是個單身狗。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjIhQB4sny
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wUCY3HRFZ
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLGP6nTDJM
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9dQjTY0eu
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iDhj3CrVG
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgKqXrQtS9
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGvsNUbSxH
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbSw7ndG1u
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「你上次也是這麼說。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVso4b6Ghr
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqubrxEWje
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7gLOTzeVb
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eIORFxSuD
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSCGJhiTcP
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GqpD3VXZ1
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIHm960dhJ
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUSAbcG7az
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg0Cz8zdMo
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06tftbRV1u
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiORvVOtfe
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhUSCF4pKc
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD8uFzV1gx
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT4zJ2cIHp
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkmd2k84YU
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8ndObYpMV
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTXGuoR6Jw
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm34Kl899f
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBLxhUsUtm
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8YtWIcALQ
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL8bFeJSC4
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJoLySlbqK
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡug8LxWkQn0

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNGg83eHv5
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBoKt4lWDv
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ0FnwMkTB
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「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3re3BJpAiX
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFg0oQWZygG
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaV5HElHAT
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8s8xoQBH56
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAputGOwMJz
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像是現在。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxBTkhlclP
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJU7mrPBID7
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlPzloeUxh
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeYcAkWhPO
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qcjlTJ2Uu
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2t6sC535d
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0987NExMW
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3eBiqPbzr
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsjFt9AMZM

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdl4jnrosz
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF7nmoVmyi
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjXThPLYNt
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3MKU96Mcq
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiPmCjCCns
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwHdS6NCKQ
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJtwvloNU8
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「你本來說歐威爾。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldce7GKPYl
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「那、那是一時口誤……」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlR3VC9NOi3
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhipMABU5J
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0hv1biAg2
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCkY3NfQga
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrBZHPxjT1
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPxVfM3UNv
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqR8fFnqsHI
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuPaWWa7zW
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjrjNGSkMR
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11NmmXuc6a
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHtXTxKCrI
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxbXwvFULc
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzCN1L5Mr8
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVPmREptGJ
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她根本就沒在聽啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AV8CMYdg0
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVX15HJnxUU
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSW6QQkyeg
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwunxJlUEWe
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESdWMoFp8k
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHbcwZ72dv
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4olpPHWzDJ
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwx6O2mhkJ

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4b1KfQv29
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqHHNIl1th

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck3sEOVXeF
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtjSrAdSEa
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「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLxeiRzbvT
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteVTsNgMEK

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1JzlAke6J
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兩次。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYBRBcbBlj
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3mLrYz3Yp
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ6rWUC39I

「三岐同學真壞。」

280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTFjQ9WaCS

「好糟糕喔。」

280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUtSftLmJl

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflASeqMVNN
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說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WfF2kyXjW
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVQwmZcGDp

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcaqwknrlN
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0HYKkqu4L

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyzSj6TJf0
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxLpBFbRxl

「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCx0uLNqAo
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtzPzxEdU3

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktCbrP1IuC
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMmPoaiqi3

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9ySNPxx9l
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINhECXXddq

「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmjvzNVfkd
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMg3lI0Qxu

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3tZgKrtw7
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「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6RTBFKUGB
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkUdfExmyQ

「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f5bHxZO2z
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「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQtIYCYcRb
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC2SyT7YM6

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGC0YUpPGF
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlrIYPXx66

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU6V6Ca2rn
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyUD8BExBR

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaMsuSp03L
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「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57yNXmcTh8
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJzqSrILvZ

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHIiVFQKjG
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzTvHv0dca

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszf552gcfi
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEjp9klsoI
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnilh7rXV8P
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  當日結果：280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYC9zcS847

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gEjH1b21v
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYznSziiVIR
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3pskzeNiU
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCI5hGteA9V
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柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！