18.173Please respect copyright.PENANAVPu9xiSarF
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自從那天以後,我開始將心力投注在「減少表現自身異常」這件事情上。夏天過分忙碌,我不希望同期為我擔心。硝子沒說,其餘兩名同期忙著祓除咒靈,七海在我的叮囑之下也沒將消息傳出去,這件事情自然就這樣無聲無息地過了。173Please respect copyright.PENANAZBa8MTdYMF
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只是事情終究不如人所願。173Please respect copyright.PENANACiwtYsHPoE
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躺在房間的床上,我抬起手遮住刺眼的室內燈光。即使是背著光都能看見手背上的瘀青。那是扯掉點滴留下的。173Please respect copyright.PENANAfmTHOlmTkP
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──我開始夢遊。173Please respect copyright.PENANAwwILx0QCps
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我絕望地閉上眼睛,知道有些事是藏不住了。173Please respect copyright.PENANApfXD50jIXj
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夢遊這種事,說到底是不能控制的。我開始習慣自己睡醒時並不會在醫療室的床上這件事,其他人也已經習慣在高專的某一處發現睡著的我,身旁有時還會放著我的咒具。173Please respect copyright.PENANADLgUT9LiRO
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我唯一不能習慣的是自己醒來時身上多出的瘀青,或是乾涸在臉上的眼淚、因為過度用力發聲而沙啞的嗓子。173Please respect copyright.PENANASMTDteTxIy
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他們叫醒我的時候,往往都是用一種很微妙的眼神看我。就很像是看見什麼瘋子似的。這個認知讓我有點心梗。173Please respect copyright.PENANASELozkuRzZ
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「醒醒。」173Please respect copyright.PENANAOUpiwPrg5n
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我掙扎著從噩夢裡醒來,映入眼簾的是少年金色的眼睛。173Please respect copyright.PENANAciX4JiBj7q
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我盯著他鬼使神差地開口。173Please respect copyright.PENANAX9udtS8SiZ
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「……你瘦好多。」173Please respect copyright.PENANAmzy0BBe9XP
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「你也差不多。」他笑著說。173Please respect copyright.PENANAgdYZoBxc8i
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「糖吃了嗎?」173Please respect copyright.PENANAtKLjrmNUYq
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「吃完了。」173Please respect copyright.PENANAaUrrbESfdm
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傷口雖然不是長在腳上,但是現在的我還沒辦法站直著身體正常行走,連呼吸都在痛。他彎下腰將我抱起來走往醫療室的方向。173Please respect copyright.PENANAaLJA54A6Bb
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我呼一口氣,不自覺露出微笑:「現在沒辦法買給你,等我好一點之後再一起去買好嗎?」173Please respect copyright.PENANA07LdNgZJIr
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少年笑得眉眼彎彎,他的眼神看上去乾淨又溫柔,彷彿回到一年級無憂無慮的時候。那個心高氣傲但是有著善良內心的少年。我的同期,我的朋友。173Please respect copyright.PENANAy89rI1R3ZD
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他說好啊,到時候我們四個一起去。173Please respect copyright.PENANAC1qtqJGiAS
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硝子不在。將我放到病床上,又幫我掖好被子,他說明天再來看我。173Please respect copyright.PENANArTrUBhN124
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「好好養傷,我去出任務了。」173Please respect copyright.PENANAxumEHrYJy4
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「注意安全哦,傑。」173Please respect copyright.PENANArzx5CktNFb
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我對著他揮揮手。173Please respect copyright.PENANA8VcCOSv46u
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後來他再也沒有來過。173Please respect copyright.PENANAtMlZyRyn9b
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我再一次被自己驚醒,因為尖叫已經變得沙啞的喉嚨隱隱約約刺痛著。咒具不知道被收到哪裡去了。今晚負責守夜的七海早在空氣中產生咒力波動的時候睜開眼睛。173Please respect copyright.PENANAaRwwSCUtWV
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我看著後輩帶著疲倦的眼眸,眼淚大顆大顆地掉。愧疚、焦慮和種種負面情緒不斷交織,最後變成難以言喻的、巨大的痛苦。173Please respect copyright.PENANAHK0apoHMLJ
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沒有人從我嘴裡問出叛逃的那天他跟我說了什麼,也沒有人可以抑制我想自殘的衝動。他的離開是壓倒駱駝的最後一根稻草,熾熱的夏天融化理智,直到夜蛾老師奪走我手上的手術刀之後我才像是大夢初醒般地意識到自己做了什麼。173Please respect copyright.PENANAz6emo5kk6w
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滴在地上的不知道到底是血液還是眼淚。痛覺神經照常運作,將訊號傳到生鏽的大腦中。我看著其他人沈默的樣子眨了眨眼睛,卻意外的覺得放鬆。173Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4aQaPiwlP
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他叛逃之後的某一天我又在自己的房間裡醒來,我掙扎著爬下床拉開專門放零食的抽屜,像是在期待什麼似的。173Please respect copyright.PENANAHV5PjiXwgT
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放在那裡的檸檬糖早就融化得透徹。173Please respect copyright.PENANADHeatem9LP
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他沒有吃。他騙了我。173Please respect copyright.PENANA1JiPHYPKHi
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以為遮住眼睛就能當作這一切不存在,腐爛的心臟被謊言化成的利刃輕而易舉地撕得破碎,一切都潰不成軍。173Please respect copyright.PENANAeHEwW17lae
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我嗚咽出聲,眼淚從指縫間滴落。173Please respect copyright.PENANAzU4ssnMd8U
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夏油傑從此成為我的夢魘。