I did follow him thinking everything will be normal after some time. I felt he was the first and the only man I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I know he isn't to be blamed but I can't help thinking that he is the brother of the man who made my sister's life miserable. It's so obvious I can't forgive him for being the reason for my sister going behind the bars. But still I held his hand and led to the path, not knowing its destination. Deep down it felt like I needed a break from reality thus, I followed him. He is the first one I had a crush on as long as I remember.
I am fighting with my thoughts as I walk beside him. I did decide to be with him but now I am not sure. What should I do? I can't go back after coming miles from home. I didn't have a phone, and most importantly my diary. There's still the last page left which I need to fill. I can't live without writing in my diary.
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I looked at Phoebus with a blank expression. He looked at me back and smiled as he tightened his hold on my hand. Am I really ready to spend life with him? What if I ended up like granny?
I needed someone to talk to about all this. I can't just leave him after all the things that have happened in the last few days.
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"Where are we going?" I asked.
"I am happy you spoke something after hours of walking together. You'll know once we reach. I hope you won't regret it." He said, kissing my hand. It indeed made me smile but I am a real mess. What the heck am I doing? I made a decision and now I am actually not sure about it. I feel like I am with someone whom I cannot share my feelings with but still know he is always there for me. His eyes shine bright in the daylight. He is indeed a handsome hombre. I did learn this in my Spanish class.
"So...um- you are from Delaware, right?" I asked him.
"Yes. I am."
"Do you know both of us lived in the same place, when your parents were alive?" I searched for answers in his eyes.
"What? Did we? I mean, did you know me? I didn't know." He asked, widening and blinking his eyes more than he usually does.
"I didn't know either but you said you lived in New Jersey, right? I am from New Jersey. You talked about drug peddling too. Alena um..sh-she was some of them who were jailed." I said looking down.
"Daphne. I- I didn't know. I am sorry. I don't know what to say. Uh..." He held both of my shoulders.
"It's fine. You didn't know and even it was her fault. Not yours. I feel she deserved it. Don't worry." I looked at him and gave a short smile.
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"I am tired. Should we stop somewhere?" He asked.
I nodded and went back again into my deep thoughts.
Am I really sure about this? He is indeed nice. Even he loves me as acknowledged by Bella. God! I miss her. Alot. I wish she was with me. I hope she won't get mad at me. My family. They are my strengths. Even though we didn't interact like a usual family might do, even the smallest moments spent together were like a memory forever. Our fights, laughter, teasing, irritation. Everything. I miss everything.
I need to go back. I have to. How?
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Phoebus has been calling me continuously from the past few minutes but I couldn't hear him until he shook me.
"Are you fine? You seem odd. Like you have been thinking about something." He said, holding both of my hands.
I looked at him blankly. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. He cares about me.
"No. I am fine. Totally." I gave him a pinned smile and again looked down on the ground.
"I do understand. It's a big thing for you, me too. But everything will be alright after sometime. You need to go with the flow." he said with a warm smile I first fell for.
Who will tell him I don't want to go with the flow but I want to go back? Back to my family. Bella. My people.
I started feeling weird as the sun started setting down and it had been almost one day of us running from the home. Now even his smile looks creepy.
He had a mobile. He must have Bella's number but I can't ask him to give it to me. I needed a way to talk to her. Now, she is the only way to my rescue.
It was night. We had to stay somewhere but none of us had money. We couldn't sleep on the street, at least I won't.
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"You are fond of music, aren't you?" He asked,stopping near a spot decorated with lights.
"I am. Why?" I asked.
"We'll go to that music festival. I think they will give us free food to eat. I am hungry and I think you are too. I have seen your love for food." He said pointing at the fair.
We went there. It was beautiful. There was music, dance, play and luckily as he thought, free food. He was right, I love eating. No one should interfere between me and my food. I had two hamburgers. Can someone just tell me to stop? How can one eat two cheesy hamburgers? Well I do, sometimes it's still embarrassing in front of him. I avoided looking at him while I ate but I knew he was staring at me and smiling. He must be thinking about my daily consumption.
"You have some sauce on your chin." He said leaning forward to wipe it with a napkin.
I looked at him and wiped the sauce myself with my hand. I knew that was not appropriate but I am not used to such affection. Few girls will be like Oh my crush just wiped sauce on my face. I am not like them. I am Daphne Tuffin. My parents have made me strong enough to take care of myself. What am I even thinking?
"Is it gone?" I asked, looking at him.
He nodded. He doesn't seem to be happy with my behaviour. I need to work on it, I guess.
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We watched the rest of the fair silently. I didn't know whether he was angry or was unintentionally acting like that.
"Phoebus, I am sorry." I said, holding his hand as he moved forward.
"What for?" He asked, turning towards me.
"I don't know, you seem weird as if I did something. All this is new for me. I don't know how to react. I will learn everything soon, hopefully." I said with a convincing smile.
He smiled and we continued to walk.
Did he forgive me or was it just to make me feel he did?
Did the same happen with granny? Well she ran alone, unlike me.
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I didn't know where we were. Even then I kept following him. I am not a fool. I can't suspect someone I love but it didn't feel right.
We stopped walking. I have been yawning since the last heavy meal I had.
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"Shall we stay there for the night?" He asked, pointing towards a small house.
The house was fully painted in dark red and green. It was not even christmas why would someone paint their house with such dark colours.
I really needed a nap. That was the only way to survive the next day.
"Only if you don't plan to stay here for the rest of your life." I joked. He smiled. I love his smile.
"Only if you stay with me forever." He replied.
Both of us laughed.
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He knocked on the door and someone came out and looked at him then me and repeated.
"Can we stay here tonight? We have to go a long way. Just for tonight. Please." Phoebus said to the man.
The man closed the door. Both of us looked at each other. We turned back and the door opened again. It was a lady. She smiled and welcomed us inside the house.
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The house seemed smaller from the inside, maybe because of the furniture. There were ropes, axes, and saws in one cabinet. I hid slightly behind Phoebus, not letting anyone know that I was scared.
"Hi" the lady greeted us and we did the same.
"He said you need a place to stay for the night. I know he is not very expressive but we are pleased to have you. Feel safe here." She held my hand.
Her name was Brielle and he was Caleb. Nice pair indeed they were.
Even we introduced ourselves.
She sent us to a room. The bed was not there. There was a huge mat on which we, me and Phoebus, had to sleep. She left us alone.
It was awkward. I don't know what I was supposed to do neither did he.
"Strange." I broke the silence.
He looked at me with a question mark on his face.
"She didn't ask about the reason behind us staying here. I don't feel it's safe here." I said opening the blanket.
There was silence for a minute and then he replied, "It may sound but I don't feel danger here. I think we should rest instead." He said.
I nodded.
Both of us took corners of the mat. Obviously, we can't sleep near each other. I didn't even think about sleeping with him in the same room.
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Dear Diary,
I miss you.
It doesn't feel right without you.
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I won't deny that I didn't try sleeping but I was unable to. Suddenly I felt an urgency to call someone I was comfortable with. I know my family must have complained about me missing. I needed a phone and Phoebus had his phone. It was kept on the table near me. I made sure that he was sleeping.I picked up his mobile. There was no signal. He had no sim in it.Why did he do that? Maybe because he didn't want to be traced by the police. I feel sorry for him but I need to go to my family.I feel ashamed of breaking the promise that I made to my mother. I can't make them feel ashamed of me and let others taunt them. I can't let them be humiliated by the people because of their daughter like it happened years back.
I came out of the room and saw Brielle sitting alone. I can ask her for a phone. I called out her name softly so that others wouldn't wake up. She turned back and smiled.
"You didn't sleep. Is it not comfortable for you?" She asked me.
"No no it's not the case. I don't feel sleepy." I sat beside her and continued, "Do you have a telephone or something through which I can make a call? I need to talk to somebody."
She looked at me and stood up.
She started shouting, "Alert!!" at the top of her voice.
People will wake up you stupid lady.
Why the hell is she shouting?
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