A few days ago and for the first time in ten weeks, I left my house and also the safety of the family garden to go for a walk around my local neighbourhood. This is the story of that experience. 476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuzzUNfkRE
I’m not going to lie. Each and every one of us here has been struggling a ton with our mental health and just the uncertainty of what is going to happen in the coming weeks. My family were not keen for me to walk alone or with someone else out at first since new fears about the pandemic were being released in the media by the day. I also had a few people close to me ask why I wasn’t at least walking down the pavement and back. Truly embarrassed I felt. My relationship with my boyfriend reached some sort of a breaking point. We’ve been wanting to see each other and up until now, haven’t been able to. 476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIa4DF8A24
I lashed out. I hated the feeling of being restricted due to overprotectiveness. As a child, it bothered me sometimes but now as a grown adult, I hated it. Hiding under the bedclothes alone and pretending that I didn’t exist, the bedroom door opened and my Mum said she wanted to go for a walk with me. I lit up. Choosing some sort of route was easy, just a ½ mile casual stroll stopping in a supermarket on the way back since we needed some milk and other groceries. Since we didn’t have masks yet, I tied a scarf around my face, grabbed my jacket and other warm/comfy clothes and left for the walk.476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1Qg5jw25M
We did have to travel along busy roads all the way on the route and loud lorries came rushing past both of us at great speed. Empty buses zoomed by without a pause and my heart was beating hard and fast. Even though I’ve been familiar with this route for most of my life, my anxiety was huge. Would a prankster jump out at us and cough in our faces? Would we get stopped by the police? Just the what-if fears really got to me that walking day. 476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBkjGAHRb3
We reached the entrance grounds to my old high school and that’s when the memories started flooding back. For the first time in six years since leaving, it was the closest I’ve been to the school. There were a crap ton of awful moments as well as the odd few surprising and joyful ones. The school uniform, the transport coaches lining up to pick up students at the end of each day, the queues for the lunch areas, the loud bell tolling every now and again. Everything was coming back to me so quickly. Mum moaned that she had a cramp in her knee and to keep moving. Yet if I was walking alone, I definitely would have stayed for longer just to remember things.
We carried on walking and stopped for a short pause just to take photos of the rolling countryside near us. The clouds were forming thick and fast and for a moment, I worried about getting soaked through without an umbrella. The good news was that the weather did hold out for the entire walk and after we arrived back home. Mum went into the supermarket and I hurried quickly back down one of the busy roads until I was safe again. My leg muscles were so sore and for the rest of the day, I actually had to stay in bed just because it hurt too much to move very far. It was a strong sign that I needed more exercise and hopefully, as the days move on, I can do that again and not have to battle the horrific what-ifs again.476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaBLorRGY8
I don’t know what the rest of the moving stages are like across the world. Some places may still be on a total lockdown or not one in place at all. Whatever the current situation is, stay safe and if afraid, don’t do it alone.
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