My life pretty much changed overnight after my diagnosis. Now I had the answer to my main questions, it actually kickstarted a bunch of others which only I could seek the right paths to venture down. Originally, I had wanted to either become a librarian or an archivist. These were two jobs that involved books, sorting, admin, more admin but then the scary part which was talking to other people. I struggled with shyness as a child, which sometimes new lingers particularly at large events.615Please respect copyright.PENANAytRgbG1j03
After leaving University, it was going to be much harder to get into sectors. I spent many hours looking at careers advice websites. They all pretty much said the same thing. To stand any chance of having a successful career, you would have to obtain a degree. Going back to start studies again wasn't an option for me. There was no support available and plus, I was struggling financially. I couldn't afford it.
Social Media ultimately started to dominate my daily life. The first and last things I would do (and still do) every day is to check my notifications. Sounds typical right? When I never used to hear from anyone or missed out on some exciting announcement from an author, I found myself sulking. It takes me longer to process any form of news whether it to be good or bad.
Life overnight is something I feel we all experience. Turning from a child to a teen and then to an adult or being diagnosed with something. My autism diagnosis really tested my physical and mental strength. I had to make the scary move of either telling others I had it or keeping my mouth firmly shut. I was brought up not to be a liar, however, how would others view me once stigmas came into play?
Just before Christmas last year, I used Facebook to voice my desires of finding a career opportunity with books. I tried going for a few bookseller roles in my home city, but always got turned away. One excuse was for reading too much. Some of my family to this day have been very confused with that comment since I know as a bookseller, you need to be recommending books for a variety of customers and also staying on track with the latest releases. I didn't expect anything to come out of my questions post. But it did. It ended up with someone who had all the contacts for an employer in my home city which could result in an open door for me.
I went for an informal chat with a slight headache and lots of nerves. I was young and to be honest, a little naive. With only volunteering work done in the past, was it never going to work out for me in a paid workplace environment? In the end, I'm glad that I went. Since I now have work experience with this family-run antiquarian booksellers as a trainee, plus being paid.
During that chat, my now boss asked me if there was anything I wanted to disclose before starting the work experience. This was honestly for me a do or die moment. I was paranoid that all the past stigmas were going to jump out and ruin my happiness. I took a deep breath and told him I was autistic. There was a pause before they said that a family member worked with young people who were autistic. This meant my boss could sort of seeing who I am as a person and the support I need. Adjustments were made and my timetable is very set in stone. Being in an understanding group for the first time in my life outside of my close family felt like a breath of fresh air.615Please respect copyright.PENANAmTYlfSnWq9
I work two mornings a week. It's not a lot but it's something. And that's what I try to remind myself every single time I'm there. Handling antiquarian stock bought me back to some of the early moments when I realised that I was different from a lot of peers. Calling myself the old hag, I loved the old and quirky vintage, not the latest trends. Sometimes, I even joke that I was born in the wrong decade and would much rather go to a Beatles concert and not Justin Bieber. There are so much history and literature exploring that I've been lucky enough to do. I feel like at 21 years old, I've found my life calling. Most of my old peer group from school I don't think have been able to say that about themselves.615Please respect copyright.PENANAivx2A8d4GL
I volunteer as well and I'm always handling books, reading books and drinking herbal teas as I watch the world outside go by. Making the decision to disclose to both the shop managers and a couple of close volunteers has also enabled more understanding. When I joined, another autistic young person joined too. We are actually good friends and can relate to quite a bit of growing up experiences, struggling to be heard and understood.615Please respect copyright.PENANAdktNGzI4WT
Here are some tips for closing out this chapter:615Please respect copyright.PENANANdRYHgTho7
1. It's your choice whether you want to tell others about your autism or not. How they react isn't your problem, it's theirs.
2. Use social media to find your tribe. Speak to people in the industry that you wish to pursue and ask about placements, with or without degrees.
3. Be honest about the adjustments you may need. For example, I have to eat lunch at the same time otherwise I can feel quite anxious and unwell.
4. If you try a placement but it isn't for you, don't be afraid to let the placement leader know. It's better to move forward then cling on and hope for positive changes.
Stick around for some new chapters in Life In A New Light. Thanks so much for giving this book a chance.615Please respect copyright.PENANAlcN9zrXeyX
Alice x
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