My family joked that we are all living our second life. I’ve heard of the old saying about cats having nine lives for many years, however, I do see why everyone’s thinking has shifted to that. There is now a before Covid life and an after Covid life. Before was when everyone was free to come and go wherever they wanted to, no mask wearing on transport, no curfews. Basically no rules. Now it’s a lot different. With the guidelines and situations changing everyday, sometimes we don’t know what is legal or illegal, where we can or can’t go, which areas are on high alert. It’s a horror dystopian world where we are now having to adjust to.
I hear pleas from students in campus halls across the country, who are trapped and want to go back to the safety of their families. Those who have lost their jobs or unable to get a test for Covid. Social media itself is filled with trolls and fights every second at all times. Most of my old friends luckily are safe and well, apart from a few stuck under lockdown in various residences and can’t leave the area or risk being fined over £1000.
The case rate in my area is rising quickly, so rumours here have been arising for ages now about a local lockdown. No one really knows for sure what is going to happen. One of the biggest lifetime wishes is for someone to invent a working time machine and then manufacture it for everyone to travel back and forth through time and even, space. I would like to go back to those awkward moments and take back things I did or said that caused problems. Travel a lot more and attend more book and writing events, become a more confident public speaker.
Yet we can’t and that’s the part that upsets me. All of us can sit around and joke about the good old memories but that’s just it. They’re all memories now. Would I want to resit my exams again? No. Would I like to see loved ones that have now sadly left us? Yes. Lots of yes answers and also, lots of no answers. I really hope that you understand my points here readers.
I’m sitting here on world mental health day knowing for sure that lots of us are suffering badly. There’s two groups- one that speak out and one that doesn’t. I’m not going to point fingers at anyone for being part of either group. Yet it’s worrying. As of now, I’m on multiple waiting lists and being told that I might not receive help until next year. Next year?! After the potentially worst side of the pandemic is over?! With little finances to cover costs for private treatment, it’s left the worst options available and that’s really hard. No young people, no person, should be in a very low state of mind and be denied the help they desperately need to survive.
Life will be different from here on out. Of course I’m still going to feel nervous and on edge most of the time, I won’t be the only one however. I won’t be alone. I’m grateful to have a platform to share what is happening in my life and experiences encountered. It’s good to be back. Writing will always be a part of my living before and after Covid. I hope that if the worst does happen to me (hoping it really won’t) but if it does, I would like to have the comfort of knowing that someone out there has read my writing and it helps them for the better.
Then I’ll smile. From my face or from the skies above.
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