Since Corel was on his road to recovery, Law had more time now. So my weekly timetable gained more priority again. The lessons in the local language started in the infirmary. Corel took part in them every now and then, which was a welcomed change to just lay in his bed and rest. My dictionary in person finally started to get to the pages of vocabular needed for general conversations. As expected, especially the small words like prepositions and conjunctions were hard to remember.
Still a few days later, when Corel didn't need to be watched all the time, Law started to train me again. A compliment actually escaped him, because I had trained my condition on my own the whole time.
"Don't let it get to your head. Condition is important, but a fight is no race. You still have a lot to learn.", he just couldn't let me have this moment.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Why do you have to ruin my- Ouch!", I was distracted and he hit me right on my upper arm. Law just smirked a devilish smirk upon that.
"Das wird ein schöner blauer Fleck.", I mumbled sarcastically.
In the end it wasn't just a bruise, but a bruised bone even. I had a nice bump on my arm.
"Don't apologize, I know you did that intentionally.", I said, pouting, while Law bandaged my arm silently.
"I didn't apologize.", he said unemotionally. "That was my point."
After a week, we finally reached Port City. It was a medium sized town. It's economy was based on their trades with traveling merchants. I hoped to find a book about crystals, while Law was always looking for new medical books. He preferred to look for the books himself in bookstores, rather than asking the clerk. I didn't understand this. He always tried to take the most efficient way of doing things, but here he would waste so much time? What if this store didn't have any medical books? The clerk would know. But alright, I thought, his decision.
Unfortunately, I wasn't yet capable of asking the clerk for any books about crystals, so I had no choice but to look for some myself. "Crystals... Crystals...", I looked for the right book intently.
"[Nature's stones and minerals... Fish... Flowers...] Why are there books about fishes and flowers here with the geological books?"
"[How to...]", I pulled out the book to take a closer look. The contents were, as far as I understood, very mixed. From 'How to write', over 'How to plant', to 'How to take care of a chicken'. I kept it with me for now.
After looking through two other shelves without any results, I didn't feel like it anymore. I tried my luck with the clerk.
"[Hello. Uhm, You have crystal book?]", it wasn't a very good try, but it was a try.
"[You're searching for] books [about] crystals? I'm [afraid] we [don't] have [any at the moment, but] I could [order some for] you [if] you like. [Just] tell me what you are [searching for exactly.]", the clerk said in a friendly tone. But he talked even faster than most other I had heard. As far as I understood, he had some, but I didn't catch where they were.
"[Thank you.]", I just replied and walked away, hopefully into the direction he told me.
"God that was so embarrassing! Stupid me.", I found Law, who grinned at me, enjoying himself. "Don't tell me heard that."
"What are you grinning at?", I whispered to him. I wasn't supposed to speak english in public.
"Nothing.", he said in the local language, not whispering. He was definitely making fun of me. "Na warte."
"Du vergisst, dass ich noch eine andere Sprache spreche, die du nicht verstehst. Ich könnte alles mögliche über dich sagen und du würdest es nie erfahren.", Law glared at me with a warning look. I just stuck out my tongue to that. I knew, we were in the far back of the store. There was no one here besides us. And even if someone did hear me, the chance that this person knew every single language of this world was extremely low. They wouldn't be able to tell they just heard a non-existent language.
"So is anything interesting in this book? I couldn't read everything.", I gave him the 'How to...'-book I found earlier. He skimmed through it's contents before shaking his head. Sighing, I put the book back to where I found it.
The log port still needed another two days to set for the next island. We acutally didn't need it to reach the island we wanted to get to, as we had the map and the log port wouldn't even point towards it, but the Heart Pirates wanted to continue their own journey afterwards. Besides, one thing I learned during my time on the submarine, was that the captain did nothing without a plan B. He always wanted to have an alternative plan, the more the better.
That also meant I had about two weaks left to find a way to make this crystal. Law had no intention of telling me what would happen if I couldn't make the crystal in time. I knew the crew wanted to sail on without staying on that island for long. Uncertainty became my constant companion on my search for the needed information.
Reluctantly, but under the pressure of time, I found myself back in the archive. I had gotten back more variety in my days with the language and training lessons revived. Law wouldn't cut short on them for some reason I didn't get, but most of my time were spent in the archive nevertheless.
"At least I don't have to go through all those trade agreements."
My motivation dropped further into an empty void with every day I spent down here. We were only three days from the island and I only got through half of the cardboard boxes. Five boxes for nearly three days sounded doable, especially since I was done with the poems. Their interpretation always took forever.
To be honest, my hopes of finding something useful shattered almost completely after finishing the poems. If there was something like the sabaody legend about how to make this crystal, it would have been with the poems. Now I had to put my hopes into the remaining newspaper articles and reports of all kinds.
I almost finished the newspaper articles before dinner. Looking at the time, I saw it was 17:44 o'clock. "In einer viertel Stunde ist Abendbrot. Den letzten Karton mach ich danach.", I decided. It was saturday, there wouldn't be training after dinner.
I would get to the remaining boxes containing the reports and diary entries the next day and the day after that. "Ich kann einfach nicht glauben, dass niemand daran gedacht hat, wie man einen Kristall züchtet. Vor allem wird es dafür bestimmt schon zu spät sein.", I curled up.
With my head on my knees, I closed my eyes. "Getting impatient now won't help me.", I told myself in an attempt to calm down. My nerves were raw. I was so happy to read there was a trade between our worlds. There had to be a way home. But now? Now I sat here. Weighing myself in selfpity and despair. I was at a point, where I had to calm myself down every time I finished a box. Just to not lash out at anything.
"Das ist doch zum kotzen!", I cried out into the empty room, before standing up and leaving the archive.
Meeting in the mess, Law asked for my progress. I hoped he would'nt ask.
"I finished the poems and now I'm nearly finished with the newspaper articles. Just one box remaining.", I reported dryly. When I noticed he wouldn't say anything to that, I added: "I'll start with the reports and diary entries tomorrow. It's the remaining four boxes.", but he only nodded in response. I was displeased by his sparse reply.
"Why is he asking, when he doesn't actually care? Is he really just doint it to drag me down even more? Just to show me I've got nothing? Seriously?!", Law must have noticed my glaring at him, but he respnded to that just as little. Irritated, I ate my food.
The last box of newspaper articles wasn't much more interesting than the others. I followed the developement of the disease with interest. It was responsible for quite some chaos. The last article reported the destruction of the crystal maintaining the portal by some people protesting against any more traffic between the worlds. Unfortunately, there wasn't written anything about the way the portal functioned. The mentioned crystal seemed to be the one I still needed to grow somehow.
Another event I read with interest, was the cultural exchange. Apparently, the telephone-snail was a thing in this world before the telephone was invented in my world. But my world first had some kinds of vehicles, like the first type of bicycle. The idea of powder also came from the british noble families. The nobles of this world apparently liked the light skin, that was achieved by it, very much. Things like that let me forget my desperate search for a few minutes.
It was my last day finding the needed information. We would arrive at the island today and I still spent as much time as possible in the archive, reading through the last documents. The reports were somewhat interesting at the beginning due to their variety. Recipes, military and scientific reports Law might be interested in or just written down thoughts about anything.
The diary entries were just as mixed. But since they were written by hand, they were a lot harder to read. But I was also able to assign them to different persons thanks to that. One seemed to be from a merchant, whereas another was from some kind of politician. There were a few pages of a diary seemingly written by a mother and I thought I had found some pages out of her daughter's diary, as some events matched. Their daily worries and delights were kinda interesting to read at first, but I grew tired of them quickly. The pressure of time in the back of my mind playing it's rightful part in that.
Again and again did I turn off my music and back on. I couldn't decide which song to hear, so I turned it off completely. A few minutes later I would turn it back on again, because it was too quiet.
"I'm not getting anywhere like this!", I grumbled and leaned my head against the shelve. The music was on. A cheerful song played, though I skipped that. I was really not in the mood for cheerful music. The next song was the last thing I heard back at home. I didn't feel like it, but I still let the song play.
"Told you not to worry, but maybe that's a lie"
The song triggered a strange feeling inside of me. It was somewhat disconcerting, but at the same time, I felt like I was back at home.
"Honey, what's your hurry? Won't you stay inside?"
I thought about whether I had heard that song at all during my time here. Most of the time, I had my whole library on shuffle, so it should have appeared already, considering I was on this submarine for nearly 4 months now.
"Where did you go? – I should know, but it's cold – And I don't wanna be lonely"
A headache formed itself. "When was the last time I breathed fresh air?"
"So show me the way home"
I felt a slightly oppressive feeling in my chest. "Home...", memories flooded my inner eye.
"I can't lose another life"
I held a sheet of paper in my hand, but that was completely forgotten. I starred into emptiness, being in a trance-like state.
"Hurry – I'm worried"
I was startled by a familiar voice. "Mama?" It was my mother's voice I suddenly heard singing.
"The world's a little blurry – Or maybe it's my eyes"
There she stood. Right in front of me. In tears. "Mama!"
"The child I've had to bury – She keeps me up at night"
I jumped up and ran towards her, but just as I thought I had reached her, an invisible wall blocked my path. Her voice now muffled behind the wall.
"Mama! Ich bin hier!", I called through the wall, but Mom just kept staring at the ground. I felt caged.
"Said I couldn't love someone – 'Cause I might break,"
"If you're gonna die, not by mistake"
The opressing feeling in my chest intensified. "Ich bin hier.", I whimpered.
My punches against the wall were in vain.
"So where did you go – I should know, but it's cold"
"And I don't wanna be lonely – So tell me you'll come home"
"Even if it's just a lie"
I felt my headache getting worse. Every now and then I got a bit dizzy, but ignored it. My mother stood right there. Right in front of me. ...Unreachable.
"I just wanted to protect you"
"But now I'll never get to"
"But I'm right here.", I pleaded. My headache hammering just as strongly in my head as I punched with my fists against the wall. The pressure on my chest so strong, I could barely breathe.
"A mindgame.", I thought. But I was scared of turning around. What if she disappeared then? What if I could never see her again?
"Hurry – I'm worried"
I sank to the ground. There were even more voices singing now. My dad, my brothers. My friends. For a brief moment I thought hearing Law, but there was no one behind that wall besides my mother, upon looking back up again. She was still crying and it broke my heart.
"Where did you go – I should know, but it's cold"
"I'm right here...", I pleaded one more time while tears streamed down my face.
Then my legs began feeling numb. At the same time, I felt a dull pain ringing through my whole body. I thought I felt my heart had stopped beating. "Was- What is happening?! H-Hilfe. Ich- Ich will doch nur nach Hause!"
"And I don't wanna be lonely"
"Was hoping you'd come home"
The memory of the day before I came to this world flashed before my eyes. How I went home. In a good mood, the sun warming my back.
"I don't care if it's a lie"
The image of my mother began to fade. The invisible wall with her, but I couldn't move. My heart stopped beating.
I opened my eyes and found myself in the infirmary on the submarine of the Heart Pirates.
Breathing heavily, my head throbbed. I felt a tear running down from the corner of my eye. "Ein Traum. Schon wieder so einer.", I thought a bit relieved, but frustrated too. I felt my heart beating with a hand on my chest. It beat strongly.
I had similar dreams nearly every night. I always heard voices of my family or friends. Often both. Sometimes everything was black, then I felt soft touches against my skin. Sometimes I dreamed of memories. That one time I spent my holidays with my friends often appeared. Class trips and christmas weren't unusual either.
But none of the dreams I had at night were as intense as this one. They all felt quite real, but not as real as this one. I didn't cry in my sleep like I did now. I cried after waking up, especially during the first two weeks. But at some point you get used to even those dreams and the usual headache after waking up. Another difference I noticed was the song. It never played in the dreams at night. Just that one time I had surgery and now.
"Have you calmed down?", Law suddenly asked, cutting through my thoughts.
"I think so.", I replied. My heart was still beating heavily, but my breath started to even out.
"Seriously, Corel just got out of bed and now you are lying here again. You're nothing but trouble, you know?", I wasn't sure whether that was actually meant to brighten me up or if he seriously critisized me. But I wasn't feeling like it. It made me feel worse.
"[I know. Sorry.]", deliberately choosing the local language, I hoped to show him, I wasn't completely hopeless. But he wouldn't respond.
# The song referred to in this chapter is ilomilo by Billie Eilish again.
Translations:
(1) "Das wird ein schöner blauer Fleck." - "This is going to turn into a nice bruise."
(2) "Na warte." - "Just you wait."
(3) "Du vergisst, dass ich noch eine andere Sprache spreche, die du nicht verstehst. Ich könnte alles mögliche über dich sagen und du würdest es nie erfahren." - "You forget, I speak another language you don't understand. I could say anything about you and you would never know."
(4) "In einer viertel Stunde ist Abendbrot. Den letzten Karton mach ich danach." - "Dinner will be ready in a quarter of an hour. I will finsih the last box after that."
(5) "Ich kann einfach nicht glauben, dass niemand daran gedacht hat, wie man einen Kristall züchtet. Vor allem wird es dafür bestimmt schon zu spät sein." - "I just can't believe no one thought about how to grow a crystal. Besides, it will be far too late for that anyways."
(6) "Das ist doch zum kotzen!" - "This sucks!"
(7/8) "Mama?/!" - "Mom?/!"
(9) "Mama! Ich bin hier!" - "Mom! I'm here!"
(10) "Ich bin hier." - "I'm here."
(11) "Was- What is happening?! H-Hilfe. Ich- Ich will doch nur nach Hause!" - "What- What is happening?! H-Help. I- I just want to get back home!"
(12) "Ein Traum. Schon wieder so einer." - "A dream. Another one of that kind."209Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhgiOIu0Pw
