*knock knock*
An unexpected knocking at the door interrupted the small talk Law and I were having. Lord Trafalgar opened the door after the pirate's response. "Law I- Oh, Catherine, you're here too?", the lord asked surprised. He then asked me politely to leave the room, since he wanted to talk to Law in private. "Alright.", I stood up and left the room. It wasn't hard to guess what he wanted to talk about with Law. Even if he was unlikely to change his mind about staying here, the lord should have his chance, I thought.
As I exited the room, I wondered where I should go. "Hm, I could go for a walk... or I could listen to some music in my room...", I mumbled. In the end I decided to go for a walk. I could use some fresh air. Over the time I had talked with Law, I had grown a bit anxious about where I wanted to go. Law had not offered me to come back with him through the portal. He didn't even hint anything. So was that still an option for me? If he didn't want me to come back with him, then I would need to find another place to stay in the One Piece world. Find yet another new home. I didn't think I'd be capable of doing that. "But do I want to stay here?" The place was nice and the people too. I had gotten used to things around here to a degree. But I would be constantly reminded of the portal. Of the consequences of going through it. Of not being able to live with my family. I wasn't sure if I could bear that.
I couldn't free my mind from those frustrating thoughts while I walked through the garden in front of the mansion. At some point, I sat down on one of the benches and simply stared at the flowers. My gaze sometimes swifted, when I heard something, but always found it's way back to the flowers. Their sight was somehow calming. The flower heads swayed gently in the cool breeze. Every now and then, my nose caught their sweet scent. I didn't realize time passing until Carmilla called out to me. "Milady!", I turned around, "Lunch is ready.", Carmilla said, now standing next to me. "Already?", I asked in surprise. I must have sat here for two hours straight! Another cool november breeze made me shiver. "Yep, I feel like I sat for two hours doing nothing to keep me warm.", I thought regretfully. "Milady are you alright? Your lips are blueish.", the maid pointed out. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just lost the time here, looking at the flowers.", a sheepish smile went along with my words. Over the two hours I had stared at the flowers, my troubling thoughts kept swirling in my head, but never took any distinguishable direction to anything. Thus, my mind did not feel much lighter, like it was supposed to, and I hadn't reached any conclusion about what to do. I sighed. Why was this so hard?
"We have a warm soup for today's lunch.", Carmilla said reassuringly as we walked back towards the mansion. The both of us laughed when I expressed my relief.
The warm soup Carmilla had promised warmed me up considerably. Lord Trafalgar mentioned to me he would like to talk to me after lunch. After we had both finished, we gave each other a nod to signal we were ready and stood up. "Do you want to take a walk?", he asked me in the foyer. I told him I had just taken one before lunch, so I'd rather stay inside for now. Upon hearing that, the lord led me to a room I've never been to before. It was not his office. This room looked more like a place to relax. It was small and cozy. There was a fireplace in the back, a couch in front of it with two little tables to each side. Paintings of different landscapes hang on the opposite wall of the fireplace and the other two walls were hidden by packed bookshelves full of ficitonal stories. There were no windows and I could find no clock in the room. Reading a book here must be like escaping the flow of time for a while, I imagined. The idea was appealing, to have a room where you could fully escape everything like this.
The lord and I sat down on the couch. The fire was lit. It gave the room it's cozy warmth and lighting. "What do you want to talk about?", I asked right away. "Have you decided on where to go?", the lord asked in a soft tone without any intention of pressing me. It felt more like he had to ask, but didn't feel like talking about it himself. He sat next to me on the sofa with his elbows resting on his knees. His gaze caught in the calming flicker of the fire. I wasn't sure how to answer his question. Was there anything for me to decide really? "I don't know.", I answered while I pulled one leg close to me and let my head rest on top of my knee. "You mean you haven't decided yet.", the lord tried to confirm my answer, but he misunderstood. "No,", I began, the man next to me turned his head to look at me, an eyebrow pulled up, "I don't know if I really have a decision to make.".
"What do you mean? You could stay here or go back through the portal with Law.", he said. His gaze turned to the fire again and after a short pause he added: "I don't think he will change his mind.", his voice was painted with sorrow. So he didn't succeed. That was to be expected. "Law never offered me to go back with him.", I told the lord and he understood immediately: "I see."
"Well, you could still decide to not stay here, but go somewhere else on this planet.", the lord said. I had thought about that as well. But I just didn't know if I was capable of doing that. Up until now, I was always dependent on someone. I still lived with my parents. Then Law took me in, temporarily. Now I lived here on the estate. I never had to be completely independent before. Normally, when you'd move out of your parent's place, there was still their assistance. They'd always be available when you didn't know what to do, so becoming independent was a smooth process. I didn't have that luxury anymore.
Both of our gazes were now stuck on the fire. It felt like we had both lost the game and were now sitting in silence together to not feel as lonely. I snorted softly upon that thought. How nice it would be if this was only a game. You could save and reload if anything went wrong. You could simply stop playing if it was no fun anymore. But this was life. Life's unfair. Life's nothing you can simply walk away from.
Lord Trafalgar broke the silence first: "I have friends all over the world, if you decide to live somewhere else. Even in Germany. Though we would still be happy if you were to stay here, Catherine.". "How nice can one be?", I thought. I had already received so much help from this person without being able of giving much back. "Thank you. I'll think about it.", I stood up, "I'll return to my room if you don't have anything else to talk about.", the lord nodded and I went to the door. "I told Law we could try opening the portal tomorrow if he doesn't change his mind. I'm rather confident with the crystal this time.", the lord said as I opened the wooden door. "Alright.", I gave him and closed the door again behind me. This conversation had put me into a depressing mood. A deep breath escaped me before I started making my way back to my room.
I sat on my bed and stared outside. It had already gotten dark. I skipped dinner. I had no appetite. Law would leave for his world tomorrow. I never liked goodbyes. I had grown to like him as a friend, though I didn't know whether he felt the same way about me. Wouldn't he had offered me to go back with him if he saw me as a friend? So he probably doesn't feel that way. Law wasn't the person to feel shy about such things I presumed. "What do I want to do? Where do I want to go?", the questions repeated themselves in my mind. I stood up and while I went outside on the balcony I remembered a certain quote, saying "If you hesitate, you have actually already made up your mind." "The only thing you're asking yourself is whether you want to bear the consequences.", I added to the quote in a murmur, leaning onto the railing. I sighed softly. It was cold, my breath was visible, but it wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, I felt the cold air to be refreshing. I stared into the dark nightsky. Everything was quiet, except for single cars driving by the road. The trees had already shed most of their foliage, so the sound that was previously shielded was now coming through.
Yes I had made up my mind already. To be honest, I would have liked to return to the One Piece world with Law. It could be scary and dangerous at times. I would probably be never able to see my family ever again. But I had made new friends there. It was fun. Everyday was it's own little adventure. The One Piece world seemed so much brighter and much more colorful than this one. The problem was that I didn't know whether Law would appreciate it if I were to go back with him. I'd be in trouble if he said he didn't want me on his submarine. This uncertainty was what made me hesitate to clearly say I had made up my mind.
*click*
The opening of the neighboring balcony door caught my attention. Law stepped out the door. It looked like he expected me to be here. "I thought I'd find you here.", he said, confirming my assumption. He continued after seeing my confused expression: "I knocked at your door, but you probably didn't hear that.". "Oh, yeah, I didn't hear that at all.", I answered with a sheepish laugh, "You were looking for me?". Law nodded: "Carmilla said you didn't have an appetite. I just wanted to check you're ok.". So that's what it was. I was a bit disappointed. A little part in me had hoped he would finally offer me to come with him through the portal, now that his departure was drawing closer. So without hiding my unmet expectations, I answered: "I'm not sick, if that's what you mean.", but "Good.", was all he said. The pirate captain would not ask where my disappointment originated from. Still, there was this persistent part of me, that kept hoping he would make his offer, since he didn't seem like going back inside, now that he had assured my wellbeing. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to get my hopes up. If he wouldn't mention it, should I simply ask? Should be simple, right? I mean it's just a simple question. To verify my options. So why was I hesitant to ask?
My gaze wandered back to the dark horizon, after Law's had. We stood there in silence for less than a minute, though it definitely felt longer. Finally the man next to me broke the silence: "So why is your ever so strong appetite absent this time?", he asked without turning to me. Though I was sure he observed my reaction carefully from the corner of his eye. I looked at him slightly offended, to which he smirked. "I don't have that much of an appetite usually.", I said with my arms crossed. "I just have a lot on my mind today.", I added with a lower voice, looking away.
Law didn't say a thing. I was thankful for that, actually. He had made clear I could talk to him about it, but wouldn't press the matter. He simply waited for me to speak up. Which eventually, I did. My arms crossed in front of my chest wandered down to hug my stomach in a matter to comfort myself. "I'm still not sure where I want to go next. Where is home? That question just repeats itself in my mind uncontrollably.", a few seconds of silence followed. I shifted my weight to one leg and nestled my head into my arms, which now rested on the balcony handrail. "And I can't seem to find the answer." From the corner of my eye, I saw Law shifting positions as well, now leaning against the handrail of his own balcony. While my gaze was directed down onto the labyrinth I couldn't see where he was looking, but I had a feeling he looked up at the stars or the horizon. "Home is where you want it to be.", he said. His tone was calm and confident. It almost seemed like his words weren't directed at anything or anyone in particular. As if he had simply let his thoughts slip. To anyone else it might have seemed uncaring or disregarding to my feelings. But to me it was reassuring. It felt like he understood my silent panic, originating from anxiety and insecurity. Those words would prove to be my safety rock in the raging sea of my never resting thoughts.
As I let his words ring through my mind, it was as though a switch was turned. I suddenly felt much more calm and collected. If home was where I wanted it to be, where I chose to establish it, then I had already made my decision. Matching my mood, I lifted my head up. "What if the place is already full? Or simply doesn't want me there?", the ever so persistent doubt came flying out before I could restrain it. Because in the end, it wasn't my decision to make after all. Because that place was already home to many others. Who was I to simply decide I could force myself in between? "Well, either you've made a bad choice", he began, "or you simply have to convince them there is still some space left.". That slightly surprised me. Though the more I thought about that, it shouldn't have surprised me at all. I turned my head to look at him only to find his smirking face looking back at me. That smirk was contagious. "Take what you can-", I repeated the quote that popped up in my mind, when Law, a fellow pirate himself, finished it. "-Give nothing back."
For a moment I tested the feeling that phrase came along with, before looking back at the stars. "Mhmm, I like that.", my smirk faded into a content smile. Sometimes you gotta first think about yourself and be selfish. "Thanks. That really helped me."151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPChsyHP0k
"So? Where will your new home be?", I could hear the hint of curiosity in Law's voice, expecting my decision. "Yeah, if it's al-"
*knock knock knock*
A faint knocking sound interrupted me, as I was finally about to ask if I could join him on the submarine. Law turned around, brows raised in surprise, before excusing himself briefly to check who it was, that wanted his attention.
I waited on the balcony, when I heard Mr. Sheffield's voice. Though I couldn't understand what he said, Law returned not long after back onto the balcony. He told me the two of them would come over to my room. Apparently Mr. Sheffield wanted to discuss something with us, without the possibility of others from outside listening in on it. I wondered what that was about, when I went inside and opened the door for them. "Good evening. I'm sorry if I bothered you. But I'd like to talk to you about something.", the aged man was visibly tense, which only surprised me even more. I tried reassuring him he was no bother, but that didn't seem to have any effect. The two men sat down on the chairs while I seated myself on the bed.
Mr. Sheffield told us about Mr. Grolan, the military officer. Apparently, he was set on not letting either of us go back through the portal, because in reality he was not as nice as he gave himself off to be. That didn't really surprise me nor Law. "Do you know how he'll try to prevent us from going?", Law asked. But Mr. Sheffield shook his head. "I have no idea. That's why I want to propose to you to not wait until tomorrow. Go back through the portal this night. Around 3 in the morning. I have already told Wilfred, so he can be there to see you off. It's simply safer to do this without the Lt. General's presence." Even though I was not surprised by the news the military officer would try to prevent us from going back, it was still a bit of a shock to see things getting rushed like that. Law asked how they were going to handle his nodachi. He didn't seem surprised in the slightest. His usual composure was in full place. "Yes, I will get it for you while you two go to the portal site. It's less attention seeking to not go in a big group. You could already activate the portal while you're wating for me and Wilfred as well. The crystal you'll need is on the table.", the man said. The pirate captain nodded in understanding. "Now there was still one thing the lord asked me to do. Law, apparently you wanted to look something up, right?", Law nodded again, "Alright, I'll show you to the research room.", the both of them stood up and went for the door. I was stunned. I felt like a storm just came and went by.
Just before Mr. Sheffield closed the door behind him, he remembered yet another thing: "Oh Catherine,", he caught my attention, "I heard you're going to stay here. That's nice to hear." and with that, Mr. Sheffield gave me a polite nod and closed the door. "What?", was all my scattered brain was able to produce. But the door was closed. There was no one to clear my confusion. "Wait I don't- Crap!", I let myself fall back onto the mattress once again. "Now Law thinks I intend to stay here. Even though I just wanted to ask if I could go with him.", yet another sigh escaped my lips that day. So he would leave in about 7 hours. Without me. I wondered what Law still wanted to look up before leaving for his world.
I looked at the clock standing on that little nightstand next to the bed. 2:37 o'clock. "Almost time.", I thought. I felt my nerves raging as I thought about the upcoming events. Should I pack my things? I wanted to go with Law through the portal, but he must think I intend to stay here since Mr. Sheffield blurted that out. Everyone must think that. Then it would be weird if I suddenly came along with my bag packed. You can be a little selfish at times, I tried convincing myself. It's just a simple misunderstanding anyways. "Urgh~", sometimes I hated my insecurity for always being afraid of what others might think. I hated being the center of attention like that. Just ignore it, I thought. The clock beeped once when it struck 3 a.m.. I got up the bed and grabbed my things. At least I would take my phone, headphones an the power bank with me. I didn't exactly want to leave the new music box I got behind, but it didn't fit into any of my pockets. Since I still couldn't get myself to show up with my bag, I just took what would fit into the pockets of my clothes. So that even if I did go through the gate, I would do so without leaving everything behind. I just wouldn't want to miss my music.
It knocked at the door the moment I pushed down the handle. As expected, it was Law waiting for me. "Ready?", I asked him. It was just to struck up a conversation actually, since I didn't want to walk in silence. Otherwise I feared I would be tense along the whole way. "Of course.", he answered briefly. The conversation had ended there. We went down the hallway, until we entered that old passage that wasn't taken care of anymore. Law still remembered the way the lord had led us through when we came back from our nightly adventure. I was too tired at the time to remember any of it. Though I still remembered almost tumbling over the carpet and Law and the lord catching me just in time. That was embarrassing. "Pay attention to the ground this time.", Law commented as if he had read my thoughts. "I'm not that tired, thank you.", I said, my arms crossed in front of my chest. But I did not try to hide the smile crossing my face. Law was trying to lighten up the mood. His teasing smirk was evident of that.
"Say, what will you do first, when you get back?", I asked him curiously. I imagined the crew anxiously awaiting their captain's return. Now that he was gone, Bepo, as his first mate, had command. I wondered how well he did. We were almost gone for a week now. What if their supplies ran out? They would have to sail away to get new supplies, since there was no way of knowing when their captain would return. That decision would have been hard to make, I imagined.
"Depends on the situation over there. I trust they're alright, but one never knows what Shachi and Penguin might do.", I could hear a faint excitement in his voice. He must have missed the adventures they had. And, of course, his friends as well. "But... I would take a deep breath, I guess.", he finished. "True, the air's different here on land." We continued speculating what his crew might have been doing to pass the time on the island until we reached the door to the back yard. Law opened the door carefully and our little smalltalk died down. The window to the Lt. General's room might be open, and there was no way of knowing if the military man was actually asleep or not. So quietly, but quickly, we made our way through the yard to the labyrinth and the wooden hut right in the center. The air was colder than I had expected it to be. The sky was as clear as it could be. There was not a single cloud to be seen. Just like last time, Law led the way because I still didn't bother to remember the way through the maze of hedges. In front of the hut, Law stood still for a moment and listened into the night, while looking back the way we came. Did he hear something? I already grabbed the doorknob leading into the hut, but waited expectantly for any sign Law might give me. I tried listening into the night if I could hear anything, but all my ears were able to catch was the sound of an owl from a distance and the rustling of the hedges' leaves. Either the wind blew through them or it was an animal forcing it's way through. I didn't hear anything suspicious.151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7PLeiiIp1
In the end Law's silent concentration only lasted for a few seconds, until he nodded to signal I could finally open the door. It was pitch black inside after the door went shut, but it didn't surprise us. It wasn't our first nightly visit. "Did you hear something?", I now asked without lowering my voice much under the protection of the walls around us. But Law explained he only wanted to listen whether Mr. Sheffield or Lord Trafalgar were already catching up.
We freed the hatch from the wooden logs and went down into the room with the portal site. Once again I felt the pressure in the air giving me goosebumps as I entered. The rectangular room was flooded with light after Law had found the light switch next to the door. I remembered Mr. Sheffields words, that the crystal should be on the table, so I walked up to it, took it and replaced it with the crystal still lying in the middle of the chalk circle. "This might really be the one.", I muttered to myself, but Law still caught it. "What makes you think that?", he seemed genuinely curious to know. "Hmm, I'm not sure actually, just a gut feeling.", I tried to explain. It was some strange sensation when I was holding the crystal in my hands. "Should we wait until the others are here?", I asked Law. He thought about that for a moment. Both of us were in a trance like state right after we last activated the portal. That was likely to happen again. But the true question we had to ask ourselves was whether we wanted the lord and Mr. Sheffield to know how to activate it or not. I was sure that was what Law was thinking about too. Although, if I was really staying, the knowledge of the procedure was here anyways. Law seemed to have reached a conclusion when his gaze started to clear up again and he was looking around: "Let's open it now. That's what Sheffield-ya also proposed."
A sudden downpour just stopped when we found a full watering can in the wooden hut. So the downpour was indeed linked to the placing of the crystal at the center of the circle. Law was able to get it down the ladder without spilling much of it. Without knowing how much water was needed, I poured all of it into the center of the circle. As soon as it mixed with the chalk it began to glow faintly and the liquid followed the lines of the chalk to the respective symbol stones. When every single one of them had lit up and the rays shooting out of them met at the center above the crystal, a ball of light started to grow. The sight was familiar, yet it wasn't any less captivating. Since Law hadn't closed the hatch when he went down with the full watering can, we could hear the howling of the wind blowing harshly through the tiniest holes in the walls of the wooden hut. I could feel the energy in the room somehow changing, but I wasn't sure how exactly. Would it be weird to say it was in a slumber and now with the activation of the portal it kind of awakened? The air was loaded with electricity as if it could crackle any moment. A faint whisper grew louder into a clear voice coming from the portal. It was the same voice I heard when we opened the portal back on the island. Deep, but soft.
"Those chosen may travel through space. You may travel to another world against pledged items by calling it's name."
"Were would you like to travel to?"
Thankfully, Law grabbed me by the arm just as I instinctively opened my mouth to answer. He pulled me out of my trance, but I could still here a faint whisper coming from the portal. "Is it calling you too?", I whispered to him, to which he nodded. His expression was hard. It probably took a lot of concentration to snap out of it on his own and ignore the voice.
It didn't take long after we had activated the portal, that Lord Trafalgar stepped through the doorframe. He eyed the ball of light with big eyes. He said he was confident having grown the right crystal, but the many failures before must have clouded his confidence with doubt. He was stunned it actually worked, no doubt about it, but his expression still held a sour taste. Only after Law called out to him did the man snap out of his trance like state and looked around. He walked towards us and right behind him, was Mr. Sheffield holding Law's nodachi and... Lt. General Grolan. The man we tried to avoid. Why was he here? I definitely understood now why the two men we were waiting for had that sour expression on their face. Mr. Sheffield followed Lord Trafalgar to where Law and I stood waiting, but the Lt. General kept staring at the portal from within the door frame. I could see his mouth opening but I couldn't understand what he was mumbling. Before the lord could say anything, Law asked him why 'that man', as he simply called him, was here. It was Mr. Sheffield who answered: "I'm truly sorry Law. I had just grabbed your sword out of the storage when the Lt. General walked into me. I didn't manage to talk myself out of it.", his expression was glum, but it was overshadowed with curiosity when Lord Trafalgar asked if we could also hear that voice coming from the portal. "If you hadn't called out to me, Law, I would have probably said something I shouldn't have.", he said. He seemed shaken by the experience. Which was not that surprising actually, since you had no control over your own actions. At least that's what happened to me. I guess if 'home' hadn't been my destination the warm feeling surrounding me at the time might not have been there. "You hear a voice coming from the gate?", Mr. Sheffield's sudden question disrupted our little comparison between our experiences with that voice. "You don't?", the lord asked his friend back, who only shook his head. "Interesting.", Law and his father said in sync, then looked at each other. The lord smiled, but Law just ignored the matter and explained our experience to Mr. Sheffield. "So Uriel is telling you to travel to another world by itself, if I understand correctly?", Grolan butted into the conversation, but when he did, everyone else went silent. It was obvious he was unwelcome, but he didn't seem to mind. "How unfortunate I don't hear anything. You're not the only loser here, Colonel Sheffield.", the Lt. General laughed as he hit Mr. Sheffield on the back. The latter looked at us with a poker face whereas our eyes only held surprise. It was strange seeing a pokerface on the otherwise so expressional man.
Now it was obvious that this revelation of military affiliation was purely intentional by the Lt. General. He basically told us that Mr. Sheffield has to listen to his command, which, in the end, made him the man in charge since Mr. Sheffield still had Law's sword. But Law wouldn't simply play along with that. He didn't need to say anything when he looked at the newly discovered Colonel for him to understand. He reached out to give Law his nodachi back, but Grolan lay his hand on the Colonel's shoulder and smiled: "Oh, not yet. That sword will remain at your side for now."
"The sword belongs to me.", Law argued with a firm, but calm voice. "And you shall have it back, just not yet.", the glare Law sent Grolan didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. He was in control of the situation and he knew it. As we stood in front of the portal, the whispering kept on and on. I could not distinguish single words, but it felt like it was trying to ask me "Do you really not want to talk to me?". It was tiring, to say the least. "Look I just wanted to make a proposal before you leave.", Grolan said, looking at Law, "Would you be willing to listen to me?"151Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHFVUpbABq
