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環繞世界兩個圈（四）呢世人最辛苦嘅長途機
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時間已經到咗2024年嘅1月1號元旦。
2023年通關之後，我就開始用返波蘭公司喺‘阿媽信’賣返戶外用品。舊年嘅戶外用品界出現咗個明星產品，就係4G打獵相機嘞。唓，將原本嘅傳統打獵相機加多個4G上網之嘛，有咩咁巴撚閉？如果你哋咁諗，就錯撚晒啦！
4G 打獵相機晤單只價錢貴咗幾倍（即係同樣百分比嘅媽展，咪賺多咗錢囖），最重要嘅係用戶需要每個月俾錢買雲儲存。美國佬就最先發撚現咗呢個賺錢方法，就係連電話卡流量連雲儲存綁埋一個套餐嚟賣。即係話，美國啲大品牌晤單只淨係賣打獵相機產品，仲自己運作埋個雲服務器，用戶買撚咗佢哋嘅相機之餘，仲要每個月科水去買套餐上傳啲相，先可以喺個手機App度睇相。
比起屋企用嘅安防網絡相機，一般人喺屋企都會用免費WiFi（其實係你個寬頻已經俾咗錢，用幾多流量都得），就晤會有用戶捨得再使錢嚟買套餐。但係打獵相機嘅使用地點通常都係啲荒山野嶺無WiFi，所以啲用戶就好願意俾錢嚟買流量買套餐......
你晤好以為一個月收你3.99美金一個套餐係好撚少錢。我後嚟識破咗呢個搵錢方法之後計一計條數，3.99美金嘅成本（包括流量、服務器運作保養費用）大概只係喺1.5美金之內。咁如果你每個月有五千個用戶俾錢，就有一萬二千五美金嘅純利潤！
據我知道美國其中一個大品牌喺2020年就有五萬個訂戶（到咗2023年，估計超過50萬訂戶），咁你計一計係幾撚多錢！？賣出一部相機嘅利潤只係得20美金左右，而且賣一部要等一年半載佢壞撚咗先會再有番單，但係依家變成個個月都有收入...... 所以，其實呢門生意已經由實業賣產品變成IT行業賣服務收月費！！！
當然，我哋公司主力做嘅歐洲市場就無咁大單，但係有一千幾百部個個月收錢你都咪話晤撚過癮！
所以喺2023年中，我就睇中咗呢一點，搵勒哥幫手搞撚咗個服務器同App，然後搵工廠同佢哋買OEM打獵相機配合我哋自己嘅服務器，就喺歐洲網上推廣自己個品牌（第一章已經講其實疫情前我哋已經做緊歐洲賣品牌嘅生意）。
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打獵界有兩大展會，北美嗰邊嗰個叫The SHOT Show，2024年1月23號到26號喺拉斯維加斯舉行（CES之後兩個禮拜）。歐洲嗰邊嗰個叫 IWA Outdoor Classic（咪撚搞錯，係IWA晤係IFA），2024年2月29號到3月3號喺德國紐倫堡舉行。
雖然我哋公司晤再擺展，但係我哋個打獵相機工廠就兩個展都會擺，我同個工廠老闆好熟，就問佢借個角落擺我哋個品牌，我同佢一齊飛過去，睇吓有無啲批發代理零售散客要買品牌產品，我賣到咪即係工廠一樣有單啫。到時有個展位做基地，行展都方便啲啦。
而且，幾年無撚出過阜啦，順便出去透吓氣都好......
好，第一站，出精（Errr…… 又搞錯，係出征）美國......
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喺2024年1月22號下晝4點40分，我就一個人上咗國泰CX822班機由香港出發。咦，又話同工廠老闆一齊去嘅，點解得返一條友？因為工廠老闆要早一日去佈展，咪早一日飛咗囖。但係返嚟就會同佢一齊返。By the way，工廠老闆係兩兄弟，呢次去嗰個係大佬，我叫佢‘大黃’（大吉利是，晤係死老黃死先生！）…… 因為大黃係國泰Macro Polo 會員，咁我就就吓佢一齊買國泰嘅機票。點撚知，一坐國泰就出事嘞，呢件事係返嚟嗰程發生，到時慢慢再講......
同日嘅下晝1點20分（時光倒流），我就到咗洛杉磯國際機場。呢度我都已經好撚熟啦，2014同2015年嘅CES我哋五條友The Five Guys（本傳第六卷第二章、本傳第八卷第二章、The Five Guys 本傳第八卷第七章）都係喺度落機租車揸去Vegas。但係呢次得我一條友，咁梗係坐飛機去啦。
內陸呢程坐嘅係國泰嘅聯網航空公司 - 美國航空，喺香港出發前48小時（注意呢個時間！！）已經喺網上一次過check-in咗兩班機。黃昏7點42分起飛，8點54分就到撚咗拉斯維加斯Harry Reid 國際機場。咦，呢個機場以前晤係叫McCarran國際機場嘅咩？依家連名都改撚埋，等我差啲以撚為坐錯飛機去錯機場添！
出咗機場就嗱嗱臨打的去酒店。今次住嘅係The Harrah’s，因為會場喺The Venetian，酒店可以行過去，就晤使玩揸車啦。去到就call大黃落嚟一齊食晚飯。酒店下面就有個food court，其中有一檔仲係中國餐添，我就叫咗個咕嚕肉同埋炒飯。嘩！幾年無嚟，美國啲物價升撚到嚇撚死你！其實我聽我家姐講已經知道，疫情後美國通貨膨脹得好犀利（我家姐已經移民咗去三藩市好多年，本傳第四卷第四章）。個咕嚕肉20.99美金，個炒飯又係20.99美金，再去另一個檔口買咗個茶包加一杯熱水承惠6.99美金。即係呢餐飯我一個人都已經三百八十幾港幣！記住呢度係food court 快餐晤撚係正式餐廳呀！
之後去超市買水返酒店飲，以前賣0.99美金一大桶依家賣3.99美金！真係無撚嘢講嘞......
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一夜無語。
第二日就正式開show嘞。其實呢個‘戶外打獵用品展’你都可以叫佢做‘槍展’，因為起碼有一半嘅展位都係賣槍嘅（所以你哋知道點解喺美國咁難禁槍喇，呢個市場咁大可以增加幾多GDP瓦...... ）。另外一半展位係賣其他配件，其中就有三份之二係賣光學瞄準器！所以你周圍行，都係見到啲人舉起把長槍哄隻眼埋去喺度試緊支槍或者個瞄准器……
剩低嗰一半嘅三份之一，先係其他垃垃雜雜嘅配件，所以其實打獵相機只係好少好少嘅一部份......
我同大黃都只係會留到25號（26號就等佢班靚去收攤），25號大概四點我同大黃就會出發飛返香港。咁即係我哋有三日時間擺展同行展。
三日嘅展會其實無咩好講，因為北美地區嘅打獵相機市場，俾五、六個大品牌佔撚咗九成九。所以其實大黃喺度擺展賣OEM產品，或者我哋呢啲細品牌擺，其實都無乜撚嘢人入嚟睇入嚟問。不過我仲會周圍行，睇吓大品牌推出啲乜嘢新技術，或者其他配件仲有乜嘢新概念可以賣去歐洲。屌，咁樣行三日真係攰撚到想死（因為地方太大啦）......
三日裡面，中午我都係返番去food court 買漢堡包食。開show第一晚，阿大黃就請我喺The Harrah’s 商場一間叫Walk-On’s Spot Bar食新奧爾良餐，就係一路食一路飲一路睇波嗰種餐廳（呢段時間啱啱係美式足球NFL打緊季後賽，今年最後我奉嗰隊Kansas City Chiefs仲贏咗超級碗Super Bowl 添）。我就叫做個Lemon Butter Chicken，味道都可以嘅……
之後一晚就掉返轉頭我請客，我就帶大黃去 The Outback鋸扒，就係喺the Strip（拉斯維加斯大道） 路邊，酒店正門出嚟向右行5分鐘就到。呢間就係2015年嗰次CES食過嗰間（本傳第六卷第七章）。我就叫咗個18安士嘅Bone-in Rib Eye，依家要賣成41.99美金。
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回程嘅飛機係訂咗1月25號嘅夜晚7點（照樣係美國航空飛去洛杉磯再轉國泰飛香港），咁48小時之前，即係喺食緊新奧爾良餐嗰陣，我就已經喺App準備check-in。點撚知一去到國泰個網頁就發覺，係，國泰嗰程已經開放check-in揀位，但係美國航空呢程內陸機只可以喺24小時內。但係國泰就晤撚俾我先check-in後面佢哋嗰班機，話因為前面嗰班仲未check。我頂！咁即係點？咁我咪要等多一日先可以check-in？其實最重要係嗰程長途機啫，因為我肥，一定要坐路口位先可以伸開少少，如果坐入便，兩邊夾住會好撚辛苦。如果等一日，乜撚好位都俾人揀撚晒啦！直接去美國航空個網站，一樣晤撚俾我check-in第一班！
無辦法之下，等到第二日，即係喺The Outback鋸緊扒嗰陣，我先可以check-in美國航空，跟住國泰。不出所料，國泰已經無撚晒路口位，我就只可以揀中間一排四個位嘅右邊第二個（都好過兩邊三個位嘅窗口或者最衰嗰個中間位）。大黃亦都無辦法揀埋喺我隔離（即係左邊第二個），要坐喺後面一個窗口位。我即刻喺個App上面撳customer services搵幫手，但係個CS話佢做晤到嘢，要我喺洛杉磯個候機室嗰度搵嗰邊嘅地勤睇吓幫晤幫到手。屌，我嗰陣已經預感會出事！！......
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到咗25號下晝4點度我就同大黃call架的士去機場。去到機場我都盡最後嘅努力問吓美國航空check-in counter個地勤，有無得改位。但係，連國泰自己個CS都搞晤撚掂，你點期望另一間航空公司嘅一個美國大山婆可以幫撚到你吖...... 哎......
下晝7點12分，AA739就起飛載我哋去洛杉磯機場，8點29分到達。CX883洛杉磯飛香港係夜晚10點15分起飛，好快未到9點我哋就已經棟撚咗喺候機室度。去到見到人頭湧湧，我就心知不妙，估計呢班機都係滿晒嘎啦...... 我第一時間就去問國泰個閘口地勤，但係呢個睇落似係‘墨種’（洛杉磯有好多‘墨種’人...... ）嘅女人就西口西面，淨係叫我等叫名......
等咗十幾二十分鐘，就聽到個‘墨地勤’叫我個名。咦，晤通真係博到？我俾張登記證佢，佢就換咗另一張登記證俾我。我一睇，我屌佢老母臭西吖，個位都仲係40F無變過！你玩鸠我呀？！我再問‘墨地勤’，佢就睬都晤撚睬我啦。我又去返國泰個App，搵CS，個CS都係講啲無撚用嘅表面說話...... 再過咗一陣，個CS又發訊息嚟，話40D（即係左邊個路口位）有個空位，叫我搵閘口地勤問。咁我又走去搵返‘墨地勤’，俾我手機嘅對話去睇。點知佢就一句嘚埋嚟話No！我當場就着火，我話你叫乜撚嘢名（準備投訴佢）？佢就指住佢心口個名牌，‘Karolina’。我話我可晤可以影低佢，佢話晤撚得。好，我就記撚住你個西名，即刻喺個App度叫個CS投訴佢！另外再問埋個投訴醫貓，等我返到香港再寫封醫貓親自投訴多一次！
最後，都係無辦法換位，死死氣上飛機，諗住涯埋呢十四、五個鐘就返屋企慢慢唞。但係，晤好以為咁就黑仔完，呢啲小兒科嘅事只係前菜！
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坐咗喺40F，我隔離右邊40G係個講英文嘅華人阿叔，最後我左邊兩個位40D同40E嚟咗一對母女，睇落似華人，個老母大概四十零歲，個細路女就三、四歲。屌，一遇到細路就濕鸠！
起飛無耐，我就覺得有啲口乾鼻㷫、喉嚨開始痕同微微痛。我屌，晤通瀨撚咗嘢（新冠）？因為喺美國已經無人戴口罩，我喺美國四日，其實係有機會瀨嘢！
前面39F嗰個應該係一個大陸嘅年輕富二代（因為‘伸腳位’係貴好多嘅），起飛無耐就將張櫈放撚到最低。係，雖然呢個係你嘅權利，但係依家年青一代真係晤識得咩撚嘢係禮貌同埋公德心...... 我哋呢個年代嘅人，喺公眾地方都會考慮一吓會唔會影響到人哋，會嘅話就可能無做得咁盡（喺呢個case就係晤會放張櫈太低，寧願自己辛苦少少，其實放高少少差撚得幾多吖？）。但係前面呢啲‘有為青年’肯定理撚得你死，最緊要自己開心舒服......
跟住重頭戲嚟料啦。
飛咗三、四個鐘之後，睇咗兩套戲，個位又前後左右都伸晤到，夾到周身骨痛。越坐越晤舒服，就諗住瞓個覺先。
我左手面條細路女，上咗飛機就無停過郁嚟郁去坐晤定。到我準備瞓之前少少，終於放撚晒電眼瞓啦，就橫喺40D同40E兩個坐位度瞓（將中間個扶手推上去），上半身壓住佢阿媽，對腳就向右，即係對住我，佢嘅‘長度’啱啱好就係兩張櫈嘅闊度多一啲啲！佢瞓咗之後，就每隔十分鐘蹬我一吓。我屌你老母吖，晤係，我睇到佢老母真係無胃口屌晤撚落手......
大家都知我至撚憎細路嘎啦，咁佢蹬我，我就用手踭批撚返佢一嘢，佢又反擊蹬多兩吓，我又用手踭批多佢兩嘢...... 蹬、批、蹬、批、蹬、批...... 我同佢鬥法鬥咗差晤多成個鐘，最後忍晤撚住我就叫佢老母，點知同佢老母講中文講英文都好似晤撚識聽咁。我唯有撳鐘仔叫空姐嚟。我發爛鲊話“仲俾晤俾人瞓呀！”。個空姐其實都OK有禮貌，但係同嗰個老母都係雞同鴨講，搞咗好撚耐，先將條靚妹掉轉頭（即係老母坐40E，靚妹對腳伸去左邊路口）。
但係擾攘咗咁耐我已經瞓晤撚着，我嬲嬲哋，索性就攞個手機出嚟寫咗封投訴信（原文附喺呢一章嘅最後），返到香港就醫貓去。雖然我知道投訴都係無撚用，不過最少我要表個態，要屌嘅都係要照屌。同埋，我決定以後杯葛國泰，晤撚再坐佢哋！
食完臨落機嗰餐早餐之後，我就去機尾排隊等去廁所。成班空姐就企晒喺機尾度，佢哋就同我道歉......
空姐A：“王生，真係晤好意思。嗰兩母女我哋查返原來係越南人，又晤識英文同中文，我哋同佢都好難溝通。”
我：“呢一次係我呢世人幾十年嚟坐咁多飛機最辛苦嘅一次。”
我就將成個故事由網上check-in 開始到越南細路女，好簡單咁講一次俾佢哋聽。
空姐B：“係囖，我哋個系統真係晤掂。最慘，我哋公司仲係收得最貴嗰間，啲客人點覺得值咁嘅價錢？…… ”
我：“我已經打好投訴信去投訴個系統同埋洛杉磯個閘口地勤。當然，你哋空姐嘅服務仲係好好（面對面當然要擦吓鞋...... ）。”我仲攞部手機出嚟俾佢哋睇我真係寫咗成千字......
空姐主管：“無問題，嗰啲地勤有時真係應該要投訴吓。你知啦，佢哋其實晤屬於我哋公司，係外發俾外面其他公司做嘅...... ”
最後，仲俾我呃咗一杯特飲熱檸蜜添，啱晒我喉嚨有啲痛，呢杯嘢晤係個個有得飲㗎！
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2024年1月27號凌晨5點41分，我終於踏足香港機場。嗰日好撚好撚好撚凍，得八度，仲凍過我喺美國。我返到屋企差晤多七點，天都未光，饑寒急逼、頭暈發燒、口乾鼻㷫、就跌咗落張床攬住張棉胎昏迷咗。一直瞓撚到下晝三點先起身落街醫肚...... 就咁，美國SHOT Show之行就正式完結嘞。
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下面就係我嗰封‘曠古瀝今、蕩氣迴腸，上天下海、文采風流、發人深省、流傳千古’嘅投訴信嘅原文！
CX883 LAX to HKG, departing 25 Jan 2024, is the MOST TERRIBLE flight I ever taken, out of hundreds of flights in my life.
Why?
1. Your online check-in system SUCKS. While CX allows other passages to check-in 48 hours before the flight, you don’t let me to check-in with a prior connecting flight operating by CX’s partner, which is an American, from LAS to LAX. AA only allow domestic flights to check-in 24 hours before, which means I am 24 hours behind those with a single flight to select a seat. What kind of unfair and ridiculous system it is? I pay the SAME fare (actually more if counting the fare of connecting flight) as with many of those other passengers on the same flight!
I have a bad back which will got uncomfortable after 8 hours of flight. So in long haul I always request for an aisle seat which make me feel better. I have my frequency flyer preference always indicating I need an aisle seat, and I always got one from other airlines EXCEPT CX, for the last two flights with it.
Don’t tell me that I can pay to reserve an aisle seat! Why should I pay a premium when nobody or other airlines need to???
This time, I am unlucky as well and got assigned, unwillingly, a seat 40F (non-aisle) as I checked-in 24 hours later than other passengers.
I immediately called the online customer services but they are unable to help at all. Just keep telling me to ask at the gate or after on board. But I knew it could not be arranged as this route is always full loaded.
2. Your gate agent at LAX SUCKS. The particular name Karolina, was rude and with very bad attitude. OK, I understand she might not be helpful with a full loaded flight, but her poker face and no value attitude made me annoying. I AM a paid customer not a beggar to beg for a seat! Be polite and smiling even you could not help!
In fact, just before boarding, your online CS told me that there is a vacant aisle seat 40D that I could ask the gate agent or attendants onboard. But of course after I boarded, that seat was taken. It makes me wonder if there is a conspiracy that when I asked the such Karolina, the seat was actually available but she just refused to help, and then later the seat was assigned to others.
I understand you outsource gate agents overseas for cheaper cost, but an up-to-expectation service level have to be managed.
I have asked your CS to file complaint to this Karolina, separately.
3. The passengers next to me SUCK. The one who finally took the 40D and 40E (left side to me) were a mother and a 3-4 years old girl. I don’t know what language they speak. The girl sat at 40E (next to me) is so energetic and waving her arms and legs and yelling all the time while she was awake. Then her mother let her lied down across the two seats with legs towards me. While the girl was sleeping she kept kicking me once every 10min. I asked the mother to keep her girl under control but seems she don’t understand English nor Chinese, and showed no regret gratitude as a common sense.
After 3 hours of flight I wanna got a nap and finally unable stand the “side-kicks”. The flight attendants were helpful to arrange the girl to sleep the opposite way (legs outside) and sat at 40D when awake. But I was already totally interrupted and could not rest at all, plus my hurted back after long hours.
Maybe a SUCK airline only worth taking SUCK customers?
If I were CX management I would blacklist them and need them to buy 3 tickets next time to mess around on the side, rather than to let them make troubles to your normal, loyal customers.
All of these won’t happen if I got an aisle seat at the first time.
4. Plus, the gentleman at 39F laid his seat back all the way as long as he was allowed to (this is his rights anyway), and a young couple at 40H and 40J carried an infant who occasionally cries (not that bad under the parents’ control). But all of these added together makes my travel experiences very very very BAD this time.
I never complain over my 30 years of flying experiences but until this time, I could not stop to do so.
From now on I will avoid CX as long as I could. Other airlines serve me much much better, and cheaper.
Sorry CX, you have lost a loyal frequent travelling customer. And if you guys keep your services this way, you will ultimately lose all your loyal customers.
P.S. Don’t ask my booking reference and name again again and again. With all the above info you should be able to check out everything. If you couldn’t, you deserve to go down with your suck business.
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