"Greetings! It's been a while since you've been in one of my bedrooms, First Bound."
"I came because I’m always at your call, Julia. If I may ask, why didn't you refer to me as 'F.B.'?"
"I know I haven't used First Bound in what seems like eons. Maybe I'll start it up again."
"Whatever you wish. You're the goddess down under, doing the divine walk-a-about."
"What's that mean?"
"I am using slang I found on the electronic Intertoobs. I gots to stay frosty."
"Let's drop the slang attempts, and keep the focus on me. The gist of it is: I need a break."
"Take as much time as you need. There's seven years before you do another 'Battle-'"
"'Battle of the Lesser Gods.' I know that. No, it's time I had a break to the past."
"Julia, don't you mean 'break from the past?'"
"No, you see, Felix and I were talking-"
"Here it comes."
"Felix - my Belgian supernatural sex partner - and I belief I should return to my roots."
"I have a psychic connection to you. From what I heard of your conversation I didn't understand."
"Felix and I thought I'd go back to my natural, gray-roots, fifty-year-old self."
"Okay..."
"First Bound, I'm not going to do the twenty-something look anymore. The fetching girl-next-door is kaput."
"I think I see. Julia, I know that you're 52 years old. How are you going to explain it to your184Please respect copyright.PENANAoJTH2vH6fd
believers?"
"I'll say I have grayed and aged because I took on the weight of the world's problems."
"Anything else?"
"Right, I also need to break with the present and get back to my roots as a hacker."
"Your 'pen pal' Felix already mentioned this once to me."
"Pen pal?"
"Correct. Someone you have penned in, or trapped, into becoming one of your best buds."
"That's not what 'pen pal' means. Anyway, I want to become a hacker again."
"That's a good idea, Julia. Way back in 2012 it was your skills as a hacker that made you divine."
"Yes, we're going to create one hell of a religion. We are talking a tax-exempt-level new religion."
"Alright. What else?"
"We're going to dive right in."
"Well, from experience, I'm expecting a bizarre series of sayings to commence about now."
"Felix and I thought: Let's not just dive on in with establishing a new mythology-"
"Wait for it."
"We're going to have like a waterfall-cliff-dive into starting a brand-new way of being for believers."
"I'm afraid to ask."
"First, I'll use my supernatural powers to levitate massive objects. Set hair on fire."
"Is that a turn of phrase?"
"No, the first few skeptics will get a singed scalp. Then, everyone else will fall in line."
"I am your First Bound, so I can't leave and Tinder my resignation."
"You mean 'tender my resignation,' right?"
"No, acquiescing to the whims of the 'meat market' is about right."
“You may be surprised and enjoy our next seven-year adventure. Now, leave my presence.”
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