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Fear.
It tasted like a soda.
Giving you that bubbly feeling in your stomach but a nasty aftertaste.
Like a laxative, it does something to your bowels affecting your bladder...
Giving you a heart attack at the same time.
That was exactly how I felt when I laid my eyes on the person sitting on the couch watching TV with my Aunt eating popcorn.
“Wha…what are you doing here?”
"Hey! That is no way to talk to a person who has been waiting for you all day." my aunt snapped back as she stretched. "Not to mention the fact that he made lunch and dinner for us."
I was still trying to process what was happening when he stood up and hugged me. I push him away.
“What is the matter?” he said with a ‘nice’ grin eerily similar to the one he gave that night. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
I bow my head to hide my discomfort while the door magically slammed shut. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh I came to visit you, he said nonchalantly.
‘Click’.
I look behind me and see his hand on the handle and goosebumps appeared on my skin. “What?”
"I must say, you know how to pick them." my aunt said standing up. “Like to eat more popcorn, honey?"
Jake shook his head in response. “No thank you I am good. Maybe Emma would like some won’t you?”
I shake my head and head to the kitchen. There, I grab a cup, fill it up with water, and splashed it on my face hoping to wake up from this but hearing his voice in the living room cleared all denial. This was reality. Looking at the kitchen table, I see a plate of food waiting for me and it looked homemade.
But I wasn’t hungry.
My stomach was full.
Of fear.
My Aunt walked in munching popcorn. “I have to say, you do know how to pick ‘em. Good looking, proper manners, does stuff without complaining, loves to clean, a good cook, wealthy…Man! He has all the qualities of a good man. He even bought me a pack of my favorite beer and it's not the cheap kind….”
I took out my phone intending to call the police because this was driving me insane but the minute I turn it on, I see colors.
“What the…” I look around the kitchen and everywhere was clean. Sparkling clean. Mind you, I am not a dirty person but the way he did it was…you know…overdone and it gave me goosebumps.
"…you should thank him for doing your job. As far as I am concerned, you never cook like this." she walked passed me.
I turn to her. “You don’t know who he is.”
She turned on the tap in response.
“He is my stalker.”
She turns to look at me for a split second and burst out laughing. “A stalker. Yeah right.”
Just then, Jake walked in holding a bag. “Is something wrong?”
“She…she said… you…you are… her…her…stalker!” she said in between fits of laughs.
He covered his mouth and sniggered. “Re…really?”
Then he laughed along with her who held on to the kitchen table for support while wiping the tears from her eyes. “Well stalker or not, as long as he is doing all the housework and buying groceries for us, I am okay with that."
I stare at her as my brain slowly fizzled away. At least that’s what it felt because I felt like laughing along with them. ‘Was everyone going mad? I’m I the only sane one here? Or I’m I going mad?’
I rush to my room and slam the door shut. ‘I need to get out of here.’
There was no way I was going out the front door so I head towards the window and tried to open it.
“What the…” I grunt again and again but it refused to budge. “How…how did he…what is…what the…”
Giving up, I try again with my phone but it showed me more colors before it went black. Turning it back on was another impossible mission and as its surface heated up in my palms I toss it across the room entered the secret compartment in the closet and crouched down covering my head with my hands.
‘Everyone is crazy. My friends, Gwen and my Aunt.’ I started rocking back and forth as tears pricked my eyes. ‘Could…could this be my…my new reality? If it is, what have I done to deserve this? What?’
My answer came through the memories of my evil deed. ‘This is punishment for killing them. All six of them.’
‘For heaven’s sakes child, pull yourself together!’ my inner voice yelled but it was too late for I was already crying. ‘There is no way this is punishment. Open your eyes and think logically. What's really happening?’
For some reason, I wipe the tears from my face and stare at the ceiling. ‘Why is this happening? Could it be he…’
‘You got it.’
Feeling a headache setting in, I bow my head in an attempt to clear my mind but all it did was lure me to sleep. What snapped me awake was the sound of the bedroom door opening and footsteps coming my way. A grunt and a sound of something sliding open and I was exposed.
“Found you.” Jake chuckled. “You know, I was wondering, ‘How were you able to hide in here? I mean, I didn’t see you upon searching here. Then I discovered this handle, connected the dots, and boom! I find you.”
He smiled cheerfully. “No more hide and seek eh Beloved?”
I gulped and gather what was left of my courage. “Jake?”
“Yes, Beloved?”
“If you don’t leave me alone, I am going to the police.”
His smile was replaced with a frown but I do not stop there. “I know who you are and what you did that night and I am going to tell them.”
He narrowed his eyes, sighed, and tsked. Taking out his phone from his pocket, scrolled through the screen.
“Then I will have to show them this right Beloved?” he said showing me the bright screen.
It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the screen and when they did, my blood went cold.
It was a picture of me wearing a lab coat covered in blood!
“I also have a few videos of you sneaking into the school, breaking into your apartment with blood on your clothes, you with a group of students talking about murder…” he grinned. “My memory is almost full you.”
I was speechless. “H…how…”
Then it hit me.
He was the doctor I bumped into!
The one who apologized!
“I know you are upset by this Beloved but you are leaving me no choice if you do this to me. If go to jail for stalking, murder, and being an accessory to your crimes then you are coming with me.”
Remember when I described fear as a soda giving you an unpleasing feeling?
I take it back.
Fear is like wine.
A strong, alcoholic, unpleasant wine that makes your head spin, churns your stomach, numbs your legs, and paralyzes your hands.
Now I am sitting on the wooden floor, feeling the color drain from my face, my arms limp with numb legs and I am pretty sure my eyes look dull.
“You look terrible Beloved." I heard him say. "Do you want to come out?”
My right eye twitched and when I finally look at his face, I see it clouded with concern and that scared me.
“You don’t want to come out?” he asked again. “Fine. I am going in.”
With one foot after another, he got in and shut the door behind him. He shuffled around a little before sitting down next to me and I know it because I could literally feel him touching my arm and it made my skin crawl.
“Wow this place is cold Beloved,” he said. “And it is dark and a little cramped. How were you able to spend the night here without catching a cold? It must be awful for you to hide from that creep called your ‘Uncle'. Don’t worry Darling. You won’t have to worry about him anymore.”
I flinch the minute he said for the happiness at the end of that statement sent shivers through my body.
“Jake,”
“Yes, my Beloved.”
“What did you do to my Uncle?”
He chuckled. “You don’t have to know that my love.”
“Why?”
“You will be afraid of me.” there was a pause that lasted for a moment. “There was fear in your eyes when you realized I was your stalker and it still lingered when you saw me in your apartment.”
I could feel his breath on my left cheek as he touched my face.
“And I don’t want you to be afraid of me Beloved.”
It was too late because I was already afraid of him and my body trembled under his touch.
“Why are you doing this?”
He stopped caressing my face. “Doing what?”
“This.” hot tears ran down my face. “Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? What did I do?”
“Why I'm I doing this? It's because I love you.”
I pursed my lips and sniffed. “You love me?”
“Yes, Sweetheart. I love you from the bottom of my heart.” He wiped the tears from my face. “I love you.”
I sniffed again and the tears continued to flow. ‘Love? Love? Following me, flooding my phone with creepy messages, killing people, manipulating my friends and guardian into thinking you are a good guy while you are a monster, and blackmailing me. How on earth is this love?’
Something soft, moist, and wet touched my face and I shiver.
“Pardon me Beloved but I can’t let your beautiful essence go to waste like that.” He licked me again and pecked me on the cheek. “Now it is safe inside me.”
My breathing increased as he wrapped his arms around me. ‘This isn’t love. This is torture.’
‘But both of you are the same.’ My inner voice said.
‘I am nothing like him.’
‘Really? You did do the same thing during the spring break but your method was less gory.’
‘I am not like him.’
‘I know why you are saying that. His motivation is love. Yours was revenge until you got caught.’
‘I am not like him!’
He dragged me closer to him and began to pat me on the head like I was a puppy.
“Don’t mind me Beloved.” He whispered stroking me this time. “I know you are tired from all of this so try to get some sleep.”
I blinked twice and tried to move but he held me in place.
“Shh.” He pressed me closer to him. “Can you hear it?”
I did.
“It’s the sound of my heart. It is singing its lullaby for you. Listen to it, my love. Let it sing for you to fall asleep.” he continued to stroke my head. “Listen until you go to sleep.”
I tried my best to stay awake but it didn’t work. Physically exhausted and emotionally drained, I slowly give in hoping when tomorrow comes, everything would be back to normal.
I open my eyes and see a bright light. ‘What the… where I’m I?’ I raise my hands. ‘Why are my hands small? And…what are those hanging on the ceiling?’
Someone was stroking my head. “Shh, shh, shh,” it said but I was still struggling to look at the person touching but to no avail.
Panicked filled me and I started to freak out.
“Aww, honey.” Whoever picked me up hugged me tightly. “Do not cry. Papa’s here. Don’t cry.”
‘Wait a minute, Papa?’ looked at the person’s face and see there was something scribbled across his eyes as he smiled.
“You were having a nightmare my little….” He stroked me again. “It's okay. Do you want to tell Papa what the dream is? If you are scared we can talk about it during breakfast. Mama is making her famous pancakes again.”
Then a smell hit my nose causing me to drool. The person laughed and wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth but his finger was soft and wet. Almost like…like…like a….’
My eyes flew open in shock while my heart was beating fast. My vision was still blurry so I blink until the ceiling in my room was clear.
‘Oh I am in my room.’ a smile appeared on my face. ‘It looks like everything is back to normal.’
I felt a sharp pain in my back despite lying on a soft futon so I turn to my right to see my bedroom window.
What I saw was a pair of sleep-deprived eyes.
“Gah!” I scramble a few meters away and tried to identify the person. “J…Jake?”
“Yes, Beloved?”
My heartbeat increased. He was still here. “Wha…what are you doing here?”
“Have you forgotten already Beloved?” he hummed, sat up, and rubbed his eyes. “I came to your apartment at 6:15 PM but you came home by 7:05 PM out thirsty and out of breath. You told your Aunt I was your stalker at 7:15 then went to your room by 7:17. I found you hiding in your closet by 9:15 and you threatened to tell the cops on me at 9:18 but I ‘stopped’ you and confessed my love to you for the third time at 9:40. I think you fell asleep by…”
‘OMG. How…how did he memorize the…how on earth was he able to…’ My head was spinning again. Suddenly, going back to the dream world didn’t seem so bad. At least I won’t have to worry about anything there because my reality was a real nightmare.
“Beloved are you listening to me?”
I snap out of it and look at him. Staring back at me with worry in his eyes, he put his hands on the floor.
“Are you alright? Say something. Are you hurt? Do you need something to eat? Do you need a cup of water? Is somewhere hurting you? I am a good masseuse…”
‘Oh gosh. He is rambling again.’ I move backward. ‘And he is awful close.’
I continue to move backward until I was cornered. He had stopped talking at this point his eyes were crazy again.
“You aren’t talking to me Beloved.” his nose was just inches away from mine and I could feel his breath on my lips. “Is it because of the nightmare you had?”
I was speechless. “H…how did you know I had a nightmare?”
“You were whimpering in your sleep but drooling at the same time.” He smiled and licked his lips. “Your lovely essence was wasting away.”
My whole body shivered with irritation even when he put his hand on my cheek.
“You smiled when you woke up but it was gone when you saw me.” he let his hand slide down my face and lifted my chin. “Was I wrong? Was the dream a happy one or a sad one?”
‘Please leave my room.’ I begged.
‘It’s too late for that.’
‘I don’t see you coming up with any ideas.’
‘Well here is my suggestion, talk back to him.’
‘But you said…’
‘I mean answer his questions. He isn’t going to stop until you do.’
I take a deep breath and force a smile. “It's…it was a nightmare but…not really a nightmare.”
He jerked back and looked at me in confusion. “What do you mean Beloved?”
“I mean the dream looked like a nightmare but it wasn’t one.”
He was still confused but he let go of my face. “I see.”
I sigh in relief.
“You look tired Dear.” He moved aside. “Why don’t we go to bed huh?”
I looked at my futon laying a few meters away from him and shudder. ‘Why do I have a sinking feeling he did something to it.’
“I brought my futon since yours was too small to share but we can always cuddle together.” He put his face closer to mine. “Maybe that can stop you from having bad dreams hmm?”
I gulped and shook my head. “No thank you. I want to sleep on my own tonight.”
He frowned. “Really Beloved? You don’t want to cuddle with me?”
‘After licking my saliva twice? No way!’
‘Good luck telling him that.’
I shake my head and crawl passed him. Despite feeling his eyes bore into my back, I crawl into my futon and cover myself with my blanket. He crawled into his but turned away from him earning a sigh.
“Good night,” I murmur.
There was a shuffle followed by a kiss on my head. “Good night.”
I resisted the urge to wipe away the kiss and went back to sleep. The next day, he was gone and I was left wondering if everything I had experienced that night was a dream until I saw a note on my study table.
‘I have some work to do today but don’t worry my love, I will be back by 8 PM. Have a good day at work Darling.’
I quickly dress up for work. ‘I have to find Gwen. Maybe she can help me out with this.
ns 15.158.61.46da2
