同學們面面相覷。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87QWh7fcPR
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabrJ30LviD
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「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXlOcqqFhk
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「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe88bOuaEp
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「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAfvkhR1cp
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「那改成老不羞好了。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5JXIzBgy3
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「更糟糕了啊！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjt1spN1ls6
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlX63R9KDXr

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVZuZR57WD
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkgJxRHO7U

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeORStX53sp
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HT9EXAzCd

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFA82utVXMq
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJRIsTMRsO

「老師，它正在暖身。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtklyTGhQcw
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「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZpA1KNHCX
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7jyaFuazg

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6oJWJqsuQ
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OnklX54PI

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflnDWv6Wy8
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ6kTKOZ3j

「那我改姓三岐。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XOQb0N4dS
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「才不是這個意思！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnt21zOMNV
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「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNuCI36xAa
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「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac8Rm7pSt8
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4kSC07H1A

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS35RmmA4kT
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「元帥好弱。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGMmCHHEmE
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXpnPQhp3C

「你根本是想殺了我吧！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M4TwT4ngH
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWul3bbRHP

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAR1erjlmnC
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKpwKkvV3I

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn51DSMBSJV
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qDbPT66Pt

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CuFPGgxg8
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbQtycnu0s
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「老師！別中計啊！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZvLGVE1ke
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyvhOrgn2Z

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzILcN5o8A8
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUvD8YeGFE

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHU7KtEh2O
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oLH6zRhmh

    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nwZuMjGDR
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NVNOWSmZ9

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qdDvmWxjT
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSoq9PcbeK

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7zyX2eRrI
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujxFpQTrfj

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQwucOjGW2
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHxVmhOaTv

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UKbXpJUtV
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwyJBoJRY9

「什──」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuy1KZE8iP
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ647Y486XMe

「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThdsytyd1V
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8AExOX45G

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApNPHsflRs
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcRp1wZ2vi

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiPySlUOgp
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4UUhodThK

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyLUGFVyTg
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ebc23DfQ3

    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk9ZHqlLXM
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTe3lWbJDM

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNpVKq1BzW
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4hlNK1BuS

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPF34Xb4S6
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAWRDTjssJ

    賴妍歪頭。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcNCI7q9AE
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQucCuOe9F

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZOkl1KpiQ
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoe14VnAC0

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2YY29JZOI
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5dqgfcrYB

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0aFOXV5XP
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9vHm28b52

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKIQXQID02
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluZ3l2hKuY

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceOZNFzUOH
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjCzVEvSlo

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlyLNuSdUu
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyTghMezsG

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPtCixiFVY
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATtTWZ3M7g

「一加一等於二。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhRqAdyjcg
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5BooDAo0x

「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QxtRA8Yuu
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzXo2ANj6T

「……咦？」老師愣住了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T1FkieQly
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyi6AKsGXt

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhwir2ST2K
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MKAUm0E4E

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7mQ03mLWt
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLbSpbbqeu

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjAhmiszTK
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IYCeGbPBo

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcT3p8OzqM
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    完蛋了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VEDgXO0nL
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「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LOTzbGmD5
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIBdnUbfyJ

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20PGQUSJNa
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPv3MSFRWI

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCuBSqEs8b
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OKFyxTHAi

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91OycBpggj
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnba61PR8lX

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcHsb7ADJo
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W12kzVw5B

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiu9lFE1zm
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKbY8B6bkk

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrtS6DQDSn
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgYGx6p9uP

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcP48n88Lg
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWiQQTRbC4

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMtMIk3xkX
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdRbfPOnPK

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaoUkP4cmm
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULKUHJiHRh

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKfkPIFUvk
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfpFBDvzUb

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5hJfxxMZ9

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe8YMAoEkv
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrv8opjrW57

「同學！一加一等於多少！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH8wIynoAL
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oyD7UfrYA

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9WBgOgl3x
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIJPZ3mOfi

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsLAp3x0Jj
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoTOYBxJI7

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzxAovazbp
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDuNG2rtDK

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItoNYoFmvg
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdklpxZK2s9

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ161e2I6p44
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSZ89N9MUm

    全班盯著三岐。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPiD9VDTyu
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTALtKh8PpY
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsymGDDzDpA

    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRVwjQuZgI
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3HOOyd5TX

「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXjRrxavhr
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQAkimWIj0

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9rodtWr5k
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEx7NrKKNP9
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當日結果：202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2mj4RLIHH
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oCzn1eIVV

    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsWW9CblW2
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhARYDd4Bd

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFx2GPxyMR
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrifgyQBgh

    柳困依然單身。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X8Bdqi3O2