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窗邊的風鈴搖曳擺盪,午後的風徐來微涼又舒適的氣息,赤髮男孩抬起頭,看了甫掛上風鈴的女人一眼,精緻小巧的臉龐出現一絲雀躍。12Please respect copyright.PENANALI7nYz602Y
12Please respect copyright.PENANAIDdbooOW7s
“母親!”赤色的髮梢隨風飛揚,孩子一雙大眼寫滿了明亮,其奔跑的身影為庭院注入一股活靈躍動的氛圍。小跑步至長髮女人身邊,孩子將一直藏在背後的東西遞了出去,“這是我剛剛在庭院摘的花,送給您。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAvxSkIqAxxE
12Please respect copyright.PENANAnIFVMGhBla
“謝謝你,征十郎。”俯下身接過花朵,瀰漫於鼻息間的清香女人令露出一個微笑,“是梔子花呀…很漂亮呢。”12Please respect copyright.PENANA3b6prWd2j3
12Please respect copyright.PENANA8mWfVc4dUA
“…母親?”小手拉皺了女人的衣角,十歲的赤司征十郎雖遠比同齡的孩子來得聰穎,但成年人的許多思維,他仍無法跨越,無法理解。12Please respect copyright.PENANAl0sGVCc3SG
12Please respect copyright.PENANATSvx0M7Ygk
梔子花─永恒的愛,一生的守候和喜悦。純白色花朵蘊含的意義,可以輕淺的左右外在表情,也能深刻的勾勒出心底回憶。12Please respect copyright.PENANAIIkegA3V2C
12Please respect copyright.PENANAsE8IMSE8vR
“征十郎,你知道嗎?風鈴是思念的寄託,而風,會將這些思念藉由鈴聲傳送,這樣不管距離多遠,對方都能聽到哦。”女人纖細的十指撥弄著風鈴,與微風所奏響的樂音不同,染上惆悵的空靈似乎也在瞬間變得沉重。12Please respect copyright.PENANAKmUXsFt8Lf
12Please respect copyright.PENANAaCASTggLHV
望著杳無音信的遠方,用一次次的等待換取落空的期待,勉強撐起笑容的無奈─那便是思念嗎?12Please respect copyright.PENANAgd4C4BQlkV
12Please respect copyright.PENANAQQzEpkrI2B
始終遙望遠方的女人,自然不曾察覺身旁緊牽的孩子所吞嚥下肚的、衝突的理解與疑惑。12Please respect copyright.PENANAMj8Z6Fv1Am
12Please respect copyright.PENANAcSFfy3l1v6
“Sehen sie mich! Sehen sie mich! Das monstrum in meinem Selbst ist so groß geworden!”12Please respect copyright.PENANALWbfpWnwpI
12Please respect copyright.PENANAZwga48jDKs
看看我!12Please respect copyright.PENANAPaGpfGaVOV
看看我!12Please respect copyright.PENANAVvJoYR20cT
我體內的怪物已經變得這麼大了!12Please respect copyright.PENANA80g7wAr6q2
12Please respect copyright.PENANARXzRTkGIU1
僅能沉默顰眉來面對陌生的語言,很久很久以後,他才明白了母親當年脫口而出的一段話所代表的涵義是什麼,也終於明瞭母親眼裡的寂寥與他驟變未來的關聯是什麼。12Please respect copyright.PENANAP4R69tJtKb
12Please respect copyright.PENANAuZnz1mzwYU
“母親…愛情究竟是什麼?愛情的代價又會是什麼?”為情所困的煩憂容易摸透,可壓抑已久的困惑、那煩憂的源頭,他想懂,卻始終不懂。12Please respect copyright.PENANAoOaYTIKksi
12Please respect copyright.PENANAyNRm5Krj3E
“征十郎…對還是個孩子的你來說,或許很難理解吧…”女人彎下腰,摸了摸赤髮孩子的頭,“但有一天你會懂的,愛情是什麼、愛情的形式又是什麼。竭盡一切的付出,不過就是盼望對方臉上不再出現悲傷苦痛,冀望幸福的微笑長存於其身邊。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAddLAsNQKSt
12Please respect copyright.PENANAWW8r1z03Wh
“這、這樣啊…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAvbfJEbz5UB
12Please respect copyright.PENANAmGue72XiTP
溫柔與優柔,有時不過是一線之隔。如水的溫柔,能載舟亦能覆舟。它吸引人駐足停留進而守候,卻也能輕易被私慾吞噬埋沒。那個為了私慾而忘記回首的男人,究竟還要用等待折磨他們多久呢?12Please respect copyright.PENANAgmNDd0uvaf
12Please respect copyright.PENANAHO2Q9PvtKA
“征十郎是個溫柔的孩子呢。”12Please respect copyright.PENANA6KhdSgDLyF
12Please respect copyright.PENANApsHMrLRW4K
“咦?”女人突然拋開煩惱的笑容令赤司一愣。12Please respect copyright.PENANAf2Ac5F9rJB
12Please respect copyright.PENANAUnTdRNAPIk
“今天是你的生日,我們應該開心點才是。我烤了蛋糕,還有征十郎最喜歡的湯豆腐哦。”語畢,女人還捏了捏孩子細嫩的臉蛋,“我做得這麼努力,征十郎可要吃光哦?”12Please respect copyright.PENANA1oodPh2bTY
12Please respect copyright.PENANAbPcdF4EImL
“…我會努力的。”不自覺地輕歎,他想自己小小的腦袋目前能做的,便是回應女人的笑靨,守住這短暫的幸福。12Please respect copyright.PENANALZUQJAGlp7
12Please respect copyright.PENANABq0xd4yRaW
那個男人,不過是在利用您的溫柔─幾次想衝口而出的話,最後還是無法說出口。這是殘忍的選擇,若奪走了女人的寄託,那他們僅存的幸福或許也將化為烏有。12Please respect copyright.PENANAdw63AeY8IH
12Please respect copyright.PENANAuKdQdqa3hd
愛情究竟是什麼?12Please respect copyright.PENANActIj5ENwMa
12Please respect copyright.PENANAT4ObPzoG2z
不求回報便是愛情嗎?犧牲奉獻便是愛情嗎?不斷落空了的等待,如果這就是愛,那麼他寧可選擇捨棄如此自找麻煩的情感。12Please respect copyright.PENANAtdAvUDlZRM
12Please respect copyright.PENANAC8ZmVQX276
他不懂,他不懂愛。12Please respect copyright.PENANAR5PrB8zPB3
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他不需要愛。12Please respect copyright.PENANAeZj7Fl3NtZ
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入口的湯豆腐美味如昔,不讓溢出的濕潤破壞溫馨氛圍,他轉過身,悄悄擦去了眼角液體與懷抱的複雜心思,本是為掩飾自己難得的失態,卻也同時錯過了女人的呢喃。12Please respect copyright.PENANALqTb1DQm5m
12Please respect copyright.PENANAvqZ3cvCsDb
“我永遠在這裡等待,請看我一眼吧,請回應我的祈求吧,從今以後,我便無欲無求…”12Please respect copyright.PENANABQgZIgq98U
12Please respect copyright.PENANANoSCOcJbeA
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12Please respect copyright.PENANA1pljPFBAGx
在悲喜交錯的十歲生日夜晚,赤司作了個夢。他夢見自己的雙親起了爭執。12Please respect copyright.PENANA2IJaqloM3n
12Please respect copyright.PENANAYbrGBBq4EQ
雖不清楚事因,可父母為了瑣事爭執的模樣在赤司眼裡看來竟有些可笑。怎麼可能呢?那人從不關心自己妻兒的,吵架是必須付出情緒且勞心的事情,那男人怎麼可能會做呢?這果然只是夢。12Please respect copyright.PENANAGmk1N20e0K
12Please respect copyright.PENANATZogT8YGYs
寂靜的夜晚空氣有些悶熱,躺在床上的赤司翻了個身,皺起的眉彷彿在抗議晚風捎來的熱氣。12Please respect copyright.PENANA0UW8cNopAt
12Please respect copyright.PENANAd7o3jFEum0
“唔…父親?”感覺到有什麼東西在頭髮上游走,纖長的睫毛顫動幾下,赤色的大眼因尚未完全消退的倦意而顯得惺忪。他這是產生幻覺了嗎?竟看到鮮少返家的人站在面前。12Please respect copyright.PENANA8TMMskIgNL
12Please respect copyright.PENANAZko80Vkt2n
若有似無的咕噥喚回了短暫走神的男人,面無表情的俊逸臉龐被月光鍍上一片慘白,只見男人俯下身,直至赤眸裡映上了孩子的驚恐。12Please respect copyright.PENANARKxdLwk4yu
12Please respect copyright.PENANAdjvaevBWeq
“父…父親?”這下赤司清醒了,一股奇怪的感覺隨著父親的靠近而蔓延,他說不上為什麼,或許是該稱為父親的男人總給他陌生的印象,直覺認為這樣的欺近並不抱善意。12Please respect copyright.PENANAvlfscBwCH3
12Please respect copyright.PENANAL7zcSI9Sfg
下意識想後退,但身體還沒來得及反應過來,男人已抓住了他的手腕。12Please respect copyright.PENANAPOERUklq7g
12Please respect copyright.PENANAWSSE4NwD89
“痛……"疼痛的來由不只是男人近乎殘暴的力道,也是猝不及防扎在手上的針頭,恐懼讓赤司的面容扭曲在一塊兒,“不、不要!”12Please respect copyright.PENANAPWR1QH8fPg
12Please respect copyright.PENANAfIjnwd9fi0
全力掙扎也抵擋不過成年男子的力氣,眼睜睜地看著男人將針筒裡透明的液體送進自己身體裡,赤司從沒想過這會是與久違的父親再見時該說的開場白。12Please respect copyright.PENANAWDq08L8c8j
12Please respect copyright.PENANAJa5cVBniWe
“你、你做了什麼!那是什…嗚!”一股幾乎要將身體焚燒殆盡的熱流竄遍全身,赤司抱緊自己異常發熱的身體,他能感受到絲絲血管的脈動,血液是奔騰的、鼓譟的,正脫離了自己意識,以他無法想像的速度流動著,好似脫韁的野獸,狂暴地在體內享受奔馳的自由。12Please respect copyright.PENANARl1R2mnKrs
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“那只是安眠藥,沒事的。”12Please respect copyright.PENANA6Hpspa7SzV
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“…騙…人…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAU143CMFdmb
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連思考都快被奪走,撕裂身體般的熾熱疼痛言語無法形容。想上前用力揪起男人衣領,給這恣意妄為的人一個怒吼,但下一刻漸趨黑暗的視野已取代了這份衝動。12Please respect copyright.PENANA6KbAH63fpJ
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愛情是什麼?12Please respect copyright.PENANAY1HEvdqblF
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至今,他仍不懂。他早已失去堅持的理由。12Please respect copyright.PENANAf17EHbRuCA
12Please respect copyright.PENANAFBMf3Fm1UA
“總有一天,你會遇到一個讓你願意付出一切也要守候的人。”母親臨終前的話猶言在耳,小小的身影怎麼也忘不了母親嚥下最後一口氣時還掛著的笑容,還有,總是在最後一刻才趕到的男人臉上懊悔的神情。12Please respect copyright.PENANAKxU2O7vLGN
12Please respect copyright.PENANAu6zOuEgpAh
失去的東西,永遠不會再回來了。12Please respect copyright.PENANAiembxCg5ie
12Please respect copyright.PENANAdo3ufoECRO
他的信任是一張遭弄皺了的白紙,無論如何撫平也回不到最初。這是能清楚感覺疼痛的現實,他望著手臂上曾被男人用針頭扎過的傷痕,抱緊了僅存的黑白照片與未來,昏暗的房間裡只有默默淚流的靜默。12Please respect copyright.PENANAP62xR9kawl
12Please respect copyright.PENANAsLSAt9vivs
“您的思念…並沒有傳達出去呀…”12Please respect copyright.PENANALn3ZemB3dF
12Please respect copyright.PENANAD4dctwWDIH
消失的風鈴去向,沒有人在乎,也毋須在乎了。沒能發揮效用的精神寄託,不過就是摔毀了也不會心痛的物品。或許他是流盡了一生的淚滴,疼痛不再侵蝕脆弱了,那天起,他發誓自己的眼淚從此只成追憶。12Please respect copyright.PENANA1nYlDvxd5P
12Please respect copyright.PENANAsvCsdsmVXM
是想彌補內心的愧疚嗎?赤司發現男人開始頻繁出現在房子裡,那個該是男人的“家”的房子裡。該感到高興的吧,男人已察覺到自己身為人父該盡的義務。可他已能冷靜思考的腦袋卻只想著不相干的事─也或許抱持別的目的,啊啊,果然跟他變得異常的身體有關吧。12Please respect copyright.PENANAJeOtChJwKq
12Please respect copyright.PENANAFbhPKqOnlJ
身體的變化始於無意識的夢遊。12Please respect copyright.PENANA6LQkIwezYr
12Please respect copyright.PENANAksVIZWdcsB
幾步的距離起先還能解釋為偶爾恍神,但越來越遙遠的移動範圍很快就推翻他替自己找的理由。總之每待他回過神時,自己的身體就像是瞬間移動一樣,在他沒有記憶的前提下移動著。12Please respect copyright.PENANAxkKPXxJRNx
12Please respect copyright.PENANAqoRksolFOe
如果只是夢遊,倒不是什麼嚴重的事。正當他想如此安慰自己時,變化又再次出現了。恰似錯覺的幻聽三番兩次地出現,有時近的像是耳語的低喃,有時又遠的像是來自遠方的吶喊。多次回頭撲了個空,連赤司都能察覺其中的詭異,他並不想承認,只是,恐怖的想法一旦產生了就揮之不去。12Please respect copyright.PENANAC3l9HfGADp
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就像是有其他人住在自己身體裡一樣。12Please respect copyright.PENANAFfm5MhpQX0
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一向自認比同年的孩子來得堅強與聰明,即使自己身體出現詭異變化他也能冷靜面對並逐一分析。可就現實面而言,他畢竟是個孩子,無論如何早熟也撐不起排山倒海而來的壓力,找不著出口宣洩的疲憊最終成了壓垮駱駝的最後一根稻草。12Please respect copyright.PENANA8aA3vKyqPF
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“這…是什麼?”12Please respect copyright.PENANAApOblTzz8U
12Please respect copyright.PENANAo1BlUaWDtE
十指上怵目驚心的血色與嘴邊濕黏的觸感太過真實,好半晌赤司都說不出話來,他總能正常思考的腦袋就如同電腦當機,頓時無法運作。12Please respect copyright.PENANAmDcm72h9e2
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他又夢遊了嗎?12Please respect copyright.PENANAZjhyBO7o5J
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“……血?”攤開的掌心佈滿了殷紅血液,隱約可見黏稠的肉渣卡在指縫間,竄升的寒意帶來的是止不住的顫抖。12Please respect copyright.PENANARHOJi0vwmT
12Please respect copyright.PENANAymSBxnqMd0
空氣裡瀰漫著生肉與血液的濃烈腥味,胃部翻攪的不適洶湧襲來,赤司摀緊了嘴,跌跌撞撞地跑到浴室的洗手檯,這才哇的一聲吐了出來。12Please respect copyright.PENANAfcZ1SbVfFY
12Please respect copyright.PENANAuahvXFm0Hn
從未如此失態,可也無暇顧及這些。倚著洗手檯許久,從一開始半消化的物體最後只剩下瀰漫腐臭的胃酸,即使胃部已被掏空他仍不斷乾嘔著。12Please respect copyright.PENANAoftuxMscLi
12Please respect copyright.PENANAFkkPxT3pn2
“怎麼回事…”沖了冷水後,不適的症狀終於減輕了些,可徘徊在嘴裡的腥味卻怎麼也帶不走。12Please respect copyright.PENANAfEgau4lbg2
12Please respect copyright.PENANADeBDtzFXOY
緩慢調整自己的呼吸,赤司對著鏡子稍微整理自己的儀容,企圖找回些被挖空的片段記憶。12Please respect copyright.PENANAJwdmLvXTBt
12Please respect copyright.PENANAOOMMj1BmVd
記得今天的自己像平常一樣上床就寢,而後再次清醒時,人已站在冰箱前,手裡與嘴邊已沾上了解了凍的肉沫與血塊…忍住了再次反胃的衝動,無論是一閃而過的念頭,抑或是回憶帶來的腥臭味都令他感到極度不適。12Please respect copyright.PENANAOPATblF2Kk
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嗜肉、嗜血…這簡直就是野獸的行為。12Please respect copyright.PENANAp4bHGx5u08
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他的身體,究竟發生什麼事?12Please respect copyright.PENANAldELFCyxm3
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“怎麼啦?這樣就驚慌失措啦?還真難看呢…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAnl8cofhTDz
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“誰!?”突然出現在耳邊的聲音太過清晰,絕不可能是幻覺,赤司地轉過頭去,後方卻空無一人。12Please respect copyright.PENANAoIccOAE8WE
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“呵呵,你在看哪裡?我就在你的前方啊。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAuvJJsAarFz
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“…欸?”12Please respect copyright.PENANAt6NJRoMM7L
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直衝腦門的聲音帶起頭部一陣刺痛,赤色的大眼眨了眨,鮮明的色彩映上驚愕不過是瞬間的事,他反射性地抓起了洗手檯邊的瓶罐往倒映出自己陌生表情的鏡面丟過去,脆弱的鏡子轉眼裂成數片,劈哩啪啦地落了滿地。12Please respect copyright.PENANAiuj3Jie5YP
12Please respect copyright.PENANAnZ2tA92NTN
“哈、哈…!聲音隨著鏡子碎裂消失,赤司攤坐在地上,抑止不住的喘息同耳畔響起的雜音,久久無法消退。12Please respect copyright.PENANA39HLccvIRY
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是幻覺嗎?12Please respect copyright.PENANAHk6Qj2nRcE
12Please respect copyright.PENANArdDTdw8d4A
突然覺得因為幻影而變得小題大作的自己甚是可笑,赤司拭去了額際的冷汗,認真思忖是否是自己近來太過疲憊才會不斷看見幻覺,看來得撥空去看醫生才是。12Please respect copyright.PENANAPjeyLSdHHK
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“我是不會消失的哦,赤司征十郎。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAKwAj2RDinn
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那個虛幻飄渺的聲音又回來了。赤司看向落在地面上的一地碎片,他的錯愕並未投射在碎裂的鏡面上,與他對視的,便是方才他在鏡裡看見的身影。12Please respect copyright.PENANApLoFdfVoGg
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相同的樣貌,相異的從容。鏡裡的身影是不像自己的自己。只見鏡裡的赤司征十郎彎起唇線,稚嫩的臉龐上遍尋不著孩童特有的天真無邪,只有笑意不達心底的玩味。12Please respect copyright.PENANAZlhzaJeiGM
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“你是誰?”喉嚨乾澀的可怕,沙啞的聲音恰似提問,又似自言自語。防備的神情藏著對未知事物的恐懼,卻也帶了尋求真理的好奇。12Please respect copyright.PENANAumxScmT5am
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“我是誰?你應該知道的。我是你懦弱的歸屬,是伴你成長的黑暗。”那閃著如琥珀色澤的左眼是無法用任何言語形容的美麗,但他卻選擇避開不再繼續注視─他有種直視對方就會被攫取靈魂的直覺。12Please respect copyright.PENANAtw5Gk6x2wU
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“我啊,是寄居在你心中的怪物。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAahrBQvaPkB
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TBC12Please respect copyright.PENANAUBLXOfvIvR
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小赤回憶下章繼續,最近越寫越覺得這坑很沉重XD(←到底是誰挖的)12Please respect copyright.PENANASupD52keYf
新坑會走溫馨點的路線,可能有肉(咦),不過還是老樣子,會先把這坑填滿12Please respect copyright.PENANAVCGobuaoBk
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不管怎麼說都不會比MONSTER來得難寫了,12Please respect copyright.PENANARuXiMQ3Vxp
常常怕遺漏了細節後面就會全毀(´;ω;`)12Please respect copyright.PENANAK6wefZk2vc
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