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滴答。滴答。11Please respect copyright.PENANAr5C9DquDf0
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伸手不見五指的黑暗空間吞噬了感官,恰似水滴落在水面的輕微聲響斷續地刺激著僅存的聽覺,儘管因身處未知世界而由眉頭扯出困惑,可赤髮的孩子臉上仍帶著與稚氣臉龐衝突的、同齡孩子鮮少擁有的平靜。11Please respect copyright.PENANAjG7wc6uQJH
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又走了好一段路,映入視野的景象取代了一望無際的黑暗。那只是條普通的河流,看不見源頭與終點的平凡河流─撇去水流顏色稍嫌迥異這點,的確是條令人過目即忘的平凡河流。11Please respect copyright.PENANAflF2opuzFu
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赤髮孩子看著來源不明的水滴落入那河流,而後俯下身子掬起一捧水,但很快他就後悔做了這個決定。即刻湧上的濃烈腥臭味令他不住乾嘔,他望向殘留著水珠的掌心,這才發現自己早已身處於重疊的記憶裡。11Please respect copyright.PENANAMoLNllqjl1
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血?11Please respect copyright.PENANAmOdQfnK8WX
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壓抑住開始湧上的反胃感覺,赤髮孩子支起身子勉強站了起來,滿心只想著盡快離開這個地方。可還未站定他便正面撲地摔了一跤,河裡突竄出的手自後方抓住了他的腳踝,將他往河裡拖去。孩子當機立斷地抓住了沿岸的礁石,只是拉扯著自己的力道實在過大,與之抗衡成了無比艱難的事。11Please respect copyright.PENANAumCAf791qx
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“唔…”11Please respect copyright.PENANAVS6Y49WW9I
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即將鬆手之際,他看見一個熟悉的身影衝了過來。11Please respect copyright.PENANA8IP0v83uap
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“…母親?”孩子的雙眼閃現點點生動的光芒,他抓緊了母親伸來的手,宛如抓住了不讓自己下沉的浮木般著急,“請救救我!我…”11Please respect copyright.PENANA1AUI2E0HYH
11Please respect copyright.PENANAya1AEw5nnW
“為什麼呢?”長髮隨著女人的俯身披瀉而下,柔軟的髮梢落在交握的手心上,明明是如此真實的觸感,他卻覺女人的聲音好遙遠。11Please respect copyright.PENANAMxqXEHPNIK
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“……母親?”他無法看清女人的臉,僅能以呼喚來換取對方被黑暗吞沒了的神情與思緒。11Please respect copyright.PENANAYIrQkpyMdH
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“為什麼…他不把注意力放我身上?”女人柔和的嗓音遂轉沙啞,如雨點滴墜落的,是在孩子揚起的臉龐落下道道心痛的淚珠,“那麼我…又是為了什麼而生下你呢?”11Please respect copyright.PENANAXcmEF2Hldi
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近在咫尺的雙眸宛若紅蓮,那轉為血色緩緩流下的淚水,是熾熱的,奔騰的,更是無法停止的,將他僅存的理智啃噬殆盡。11Please respect copyright.PENANAIG0h7q1fJb
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“啊啊啊啊!!”11Please respect copyright.PENANAxSoD4wplwz
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自喉嚨深處溢出的吶喊迴盪於孩子小小的臥房裡,沁滿冷汗的背脊充斥著令他難以忍受的黏膩。原來只是個夢嗎?孩子慶幸之餘也鬆了口氣。11Please respect copyright.PENANAuMcGUE6Jgk
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“征十郎?怎麼了?我聽到你的聲音。”房門開啟,圍著披肩的女人走了進來,落座在孩子的床邊,“哎呀,都流汗了…是作惡夢了嗎?”11Please respect copyright.PENANAJoWBI43PSy
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“我沒事…只是個夢而已。”拭去額邊的汗水,赤髮孩子給了面露擔憂的女人一個微笑。11Please respect copyright.PENANAbTzq6Vd1GK
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只是個夢而已。11Please respect copyright.PENANAdZ7s4fEqRM
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這擁抱是如此溫暖,又怎會和虛幻畫上等號?11Please respect copyright.PENANA2EV0gGkIuV
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不被母親需要的惡夢,再怎麼痛苦難受,也都僅是睜眼即逝的夢而已。11Please respect copyright.PENANAQpTRZl3IuO
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沒錯,那只是個夢而已。11Please respect copyright.PENANAMlSv7hjWJ8
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“永遠沉浸在美夢裡,或許也是件幸福的事呢,你說是嗎?”11Please respect copyright.PENANAGUl1KXZOTJ
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雙手抱臂的赤髮男人將手搭上了赤司征十郎的肩,然而後者卻並未對裹滿挑釁的言語作出回應,維持平靜的雙目只是遙望遠方孩子與母親相擁的畫面,彷彿幻夢般的溫馨場景才是他靈魂的真正居所。11Please respect copyright.PENANAGXU07fXNEf
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“真是個可憐的孩子呢…”自身後伸出的手臂環住他,而後慢慢收緊。沒有冰冷,也沒有溫熱,僅是與周圍環境同化的,虛無的碰觸,“不過沒關係的哦,這裡還有我,我會一直陪著你…一直…”11Please respect copyright.PENANADdfegfzwMF
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“…這跟當初說的不一樣。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAP8fHyyu94c
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“嗯?你指的是什麼?”懷裡始終保持沉默的人總算有些反應了,愉悅爬上了男人彎起的唇線,那刻意佯裝的迷惑怎麼看都散發著令人生厭的狡黠氣息。11Please respect copyright.PENANAu3DynGmSeX
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揮開環抱著自己的雙手,赤司與男人拉開了些距離,赤紅雙眸裡流動的是平靜卻不失慍怒的波光,“為什麼要傷害他?”11Please respect copyright.PENANAXjuPltubLZ
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“怎麼?心疼啦?原來你還是有餘裕擔心他的嘛。一心二用,這真不像你的作風呢……赤司征十郎。”男人噗嗤一聲笑了出來,無視他投來的目光,依舊維持著一派悠然的慵懶。11Please respect copyright.PENANAr0gDlJeWFe
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“別扯開話題!這明明是我跟你之間的事,為什麼要將哲也牽扯進來?”11Please respect copyright.PENANAwwwCIDEgIY
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“為什麼?大概是因為看不慣吧。該怎麼說呢…那虛偽的面具,我看得好煩呀。寧可死守著與自身格格不入的堅強,也不願面對自己其實恐懼的無以復加的真實面貌,這不是很可笑嗎?”眼珠子轉了一圈,男人難得的認真思考了他的問題,“況且,我也是在幫助你面對現實啊。你知道的吧?當你猶豫了,選擇旁觀甚至逃避時,懦弱的你就沒有資格跟我談論什麼對錯與正義了。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAtFAwbUWWcx
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“你…”11Please respect copyright.PENANAY5QsNf70b4
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以退為進的挑釁有時更易令人煩躁,有些畫面,有些記憶,他寧可永遠遺忘也不願再讓它有機會湧上心頭。傷害已造成,又怎能奢求這一切回到原點?即使那並非自己的本心,即使那早不是自己能主宰的軀體。11Please respect copyright.PENANA9F585hKTi0
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“只要我這顆心臟還在為赤司征十郎跳動,除了這個身體之外,你就什麼也無法從我身上奪走!”11Please respect copyright.PENANAyo7D1lDmMJ
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當黑子堅決抵抗另一個自己的侵略,並說出無以撼動的真摯告白時,他必須承認自己的視線模糊了一瞬。如同在黑子的懷裡落下淚珠時的感動重回了身邊,但他也在欲伸手抓住自己的幸福時發現了自己患得患失的一面。11Please respect copyright.PENANAdqKAbKIWRT
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其實他一點也不堅強,害怕給予,害怕失去,更害怕得到。不是沒看見黑子費心藏起的恐懼,可他仍舊選擇了逃避,只為了心底無法放下的猜忌。得來不易的幸福尤顯珍貴,所以,失去時的面對便越是艱難、越加痛徹心扉。11Please respect copyright.PENANAkTodx8Lk0l
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這便是現在的自己呈現給黑子看的模樣嗎?11Please respect copyright.PENANAH6W1aaoxKn
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還真是難看。這樣傷害愛著自己的人的自己。11Please respect copyright.PENANAapNxV3BoVL
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“也難怪你會如此掙扎,是啊,他的確是平凡得與眾不同,你會喜歡他倒不是什麼奇怪的事。可是啊,這份感情又能維持多久呢?沒有人知道,他會在哪個下一秒作出和你母親一樣的事─背叛你。”11Please respect copyright.PENANANnwcAM2VXH
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“…別說了…”母親。光是兩個字就足以令呼吸一窒,他摀住了耳朵,不願再讓三番兩次闖入耳裡的言語擾亂思緒。11Please respect copyright.PENANArmK3ypbRQp
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“我能理解哦…你的猶豫,你的痛苦,我全都知道。我們是命運共同體,不需言語就能瞭解彼此,我才是最懂你的人…”時遠時近的嗓音直衝腦海,說不上為什麼,可他在緊閉雙眼的黑暗中見到了男人朝自己伸出的手與溫柔,“這裡沒有人會背叛你 、欺騙你、甚至傷害你。所以,待在這裡,讓我永遠保護你吧…”11Please respect copyright.PENANAinyfQOqnXs
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“……”11Please respect copyright.PENANA1iOECedHRR
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這個虛無的世界什麼都沒有,沒有徐徐捎來的微風,沒有人告訴我─一步步踏近的溫柔,我是否有資格緊抓不放手。遍體鱗傷的自己,是否還有機會,再次交付真心與一個人走到生命的最後。11Please respect copyright.PENANA4Il9gVp7dQ
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他的確是倦了,疲倦也厭倦了這一切。可是…11Please respect copyright.PENANAdXN6P2pcRg
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“赤司君他,絕不會被你打敗。對於這點,我深信不疑。”11Please respect copyright.PENANApi4dxQ4wdH
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“征十郎,不要輸…不要輸給他……”11Please respect copyright.PENANATNKTF4CnKE
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“就算赤司征十郎對人類失望,不信任全世界、甚至不信任我,那也無所謂,這不會影響我對他的信任,還有感情。我愛他,所以我相信,他一定會找出屬於自己的解答。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAToPgP0SdX8
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“征十郎是個溫柔的孩子呢。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAg3jy9iCvUd
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“你是赤司征十郎,是讓我明白‘特別’意義的溫暖存在,絕不是什麼‘怪物’…所以…請別再用‘怪物’這兩個字來傷害自己了。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAsxeNirclOR
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“倘若我能早點察覺真正的幸福是什麼就好了…對不起,征十郎…對不起…我一直都想向你道歉…”11Please respect copyright.PENANARjrPlzXPZD
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“總有一天,你會遇到一個讓你願意付出一切也要守候的人。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAeeBlVUgUJk
11Please respect copyright.PENANAb9hJ5okV4e
“你不需要再逃避了,就算看不見,只在彼此相擁的懷抱裡軟弱,我也不會再讓赤司君一個人默默承受所有。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAsq0Hj7n0yn
11Please respect copyright.PENANAYmdMWkZWKT
那些熟悉的臉孔,一一掠過眼前的畫面,是曾令他感動落淚的肺腑誓言,也是奪去他一生信仰的醜陋欲念。11Please respect copyright.PENANAdW4gaZcitA
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“待在這裡,我們永遠在一起。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAHNMr6BpBJp
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“我……”將手覆上男人的掌心,赤司征十郎睜開了雙眼,也是那個瞬間,他允許了溫柔與猖狂並存的笑靨長驅直入自己的世界。11Please respect copyright.PENANAsIaBj5giiO
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他不過是期盼能跳脫這個循環─偽裝與揭穿的循環,貪婪與後悔的循環。不過是盼望找出怎麼做才能幸福的解答,找出失去與喜悅能共存的平衡點。11Please respect copyright.PENANAtPVVrsHmvh
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“那個,哲君…你要不要休息下?你已經整晚沒睡了…”將沖好的熱咖啡放在桌旁,桃井猶豫了片刻,走上前對坐在手術台邊的黑子說道。11Please respect copyright.PENANAeDafvhKpZc
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然而黑子只是輕輕地搖了搖頭,“沒關係,我不累。桃井小姐才是辛苦了,黃瀨君這裡我會幫忙看著,請稍微休息一會兒吧,有什麼狀況我會通知妳的。”11Please respect copyright.PENANARi2crfzlxT
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“…哲君真的很堅強呢。”11Please respect copyright.PENANARKMhjv568s
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“咦?怎麼突然…”無論是與方才話題不著邊際的感想,抑或是桃井臉上突然出現的笑容,皆使黑子一愣,面露不解之色。11Please respect copyright.PENANA238ajviwAB
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“經歷了這麼多事,卻還能保有最初的堅持與信念,這樣的哲君很帥氣也很成熟,這是我的肺腑之言哦。”即便是已被宣告沒有轉圜餘地的現在,她仍能見到那雙湛藍的眼睛寫著諸多言語,而那裡頭,沒有“放棄”。相較之下,曾一度想過放下堅持並偷偷落淚的自己反倒像個脆弱的孩子了。明明自己的年紀比對方大上許多…她該向眼前的人學習才是。11Please respect copyright.PENANAkO6DPa8sqN
11Please respect copyright.PENANAjrnsazoKme
“不…其實我一點也不堅強。”輕撫上黃瀨的毛皮,黑子喃喃道,“我只是不願意事情就這麼結束而已…我還有很多話想對黃瀨君說,赤司君也是…所以,我不想放棄。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAKVSSsNd80j
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“嗯…是呢,哲君說的是呢,無論如何我們都不要放棄。我去一趟小綠那兒吧,看看有什麼需要幫忙帶過來的。”握拳算是給自己打氣,她給了黑子一個鼓勵的笑容,看上前有些調皮與稚氣,這也令人黑子始終緊繃著的神色獲得了抒解。11Please respect copyright.PENANAaFs2ZH1Xdu
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當然,桃井並沒有告訴黑子,當他提及赤司征十郎的名字時,自己的身體連帶被喚醒的顫慄。直到離開了實驗室,她才攤開了始終緊握的掌心。點滴汗珠在穿過樹葉間隙直落的月光下無所遁形,那是她永遠無法遺忘的恐懼。11Please respect copyright.PENANAGDDACfCegE
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無須言語,無關情緒。11Please respect copyright.PENANAywSpdZuVG6
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棲息在那雙異色瞳裡的,僅僅是如野獸般最純粹的殺意。11Please respect copyright.PENANAlSxM3CYDA1
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“那就拜託妳了,桃井。”11Please respect copyright.PENANAmOEKUmGNdX
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“赤司先生…我該怎麼做才好?” 仰起頭望向如男人的溫柔微笑,釋放朦朧光輝的圓月,然而回應她的只有呼嘯而來令她抱緊雙臂哆嗦的冷風。11Please respect copyright.PENANAP5OZp5MMqQ
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腦子多少也因為這陣風而清醒了,她不禁失笑,事在人為才是追求科學的自己該信奉的原則,胡思亂想什麼的,就留到事情解決的以後吧。11Please respect copyright.PENANA2AJyU8gyOR
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綠間的實驗室近在眼前,桃井正欲開口呼喚不遠處的人影,一隻自旁伸出的手臂卻突地擋住了她的去路。驚愕化作額間滑下的涔涔冷汗,連同被奪去的言語一一落地。11Please respect copyright.PENANAair3wDjdfY
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“…小赤?"11Please respect copyright.PENANA5Q5Uk3aMRG
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這裡是天堂,還是地獄?11Please respect copyright.PENANAzZzgNUb9Av
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“…小…黑子?”無法動彈的身體連帶影響了視線,黃瀨試探性地出聲喚了眼前人的名字,可對方並未做出回應。11Please respect copyright.PENANAMXFdzlhocs
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感覺到眼前的人影在自己的身上摸索片刻,而後一陣熱流隨著扎進身體的刺痛竄進血液,全身的血肉幾乎要被那股異常的灼熱熔解。超出言語能形容的疼痛令黃瀨不住低嚎,想伸出手向眼前的人求救,但喉嚨無法發出除了哀號外的隻字片語。11Please respect copyright.PENANAhRorrMIuLs
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這般掙扎並沒有維持很久,黃瀨的身體抽搐了一陣便回歸靜止。11Please respect copyright.PENANAl91BKP7OxN
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“…為…什麼…”發軟的四肢與頭部無力垂下,彷彿用盡了全身力氣吐出的是終沒能得到解答的疑惑。11Please respect copyright.PENANA9jA8N7smPM
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從頭至尾,眼前的人只是用赤眸冷冷的看著這一切─黃瀨的掙扎及黑子的出現。11Please respect copyright.PENANAsSAmSwSUri
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“對不起,哲也。”11Please respect copyright.PENANA6feIkUvYOj
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“征十郎君!?你在做什麼…"背光下的笑容既陌生又熟悉,黑子沒能理解自己短暫離開的片刻究竟發生了什麼事,包括赤司征十郎意義不明的道歉。他上前欲阻止赤司,可前腳才踏出一步就愣在原地。“……赤司君?"11Please respect copyright.PENANAJQb3vkOiHv
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TBC11Please respect copyright.PENANADVpMbzIVIP
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終於走到這一步了,下一章是大結局了!!11Please respect copyright.PENANANoURa6vVRp
又是感言時間,寫了九個月的MONSTER終於要邁向結局了,真是莫名感動!11Please respect copyright.PENANArk3prStDgV
我很喜歡一個故事能夠一直寫下去的感覺,不過故事終有結束的一天,有結束也才有新的開始嘛!希望這是一個讓讀者們看完印象深刻的故事,那我就很開心了✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧11Please respect copyright.PENANAz7w1q6M1Bp
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敬請期待細火慢燉(???)的最終章Σ( ° △ °)11Please respect copyright.PENANAFfijQk45NK
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