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1章這裡走→12Please respect copyright.PENANAzX3nVdeL9A
http://www.antscreation.com/blog/index.php?ID=5350&act=fiction_stage&stage=3570612Please respect copyright.PENANAjTITZGDM8a
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Chapter.2512Please respect copyright.PENANAEPpx0XTxCx
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輕緩的腳步聲停在老舊的木門前,女人抬起的手懸在半空中,猶豫片刻後,纖細的手腕落下,敲出幾聲悶響。12Please respect copyright.PENANApBqpy7yokD
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“征十郎睡了?”背著月光,男人投來的注視薰上了一股看不真切的朦朧,緊攥話筒的指節還殘留著褪不去的蒼白,那是使力過猛所留下的痕跡。12Please respect copyright.PENANATHbYfm84Is
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“嗯,”女人淡淡應道,轉身關上了書房的門,微蹙的細眉替螢白如雪的臉龐鑲上幾分擔憂,“還好嗎?”12Please respect copyright.PENANAONhLb2pE9c
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“老樣子,經費的問題了。”拿起一旁的薄外套替女人披上,男人只是笑了笑,“別擔心,我的實驗只差最後一步,就快成功了,這一定會是震撼學術界的研究,屆時,我們也可以脫離這種生活,不需三天兩頭為了錢而煩惱了。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAx9qlXcBmNx
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“努力是好事,但可別勉強過頭了呢。”男人鏡片下的雙眼總在談及研究時熠熠閃爍,那份自信,連落地窗外的點點繁星也相形見絀,女人不禁莞爾。12Please respect copyright.PENANA0ie4HCxSCk
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“我會記得的。”輕抿一口女人遞來的咖啡,不曾改變過的味道令他想起了與女人結婚前相處的點滴回憶,喚住女人的衝動也油然而生,“對了,詩織…”12Please respect copyright.PENANATfZjq7nc0r
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“嗯?”12Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4KXZ1S3Fb
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“想看看我的研究嗎?”12Please respect copyright.PENANADE7y0Onwqf
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亂了步的時間交集謂之錯,自認為是體貼彼此的心謂之誤。沒人知曉,也沒人察覺,錯與誤交織而成的網,越是想掙脫,它便越是緊纏。12Please respect copyright.PENANA2LATvTT1OY
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一步錯,步步錯,是誰先允許了對方看見真實的自我?側耳傾聽吧,那愉悅的歌聲,那吟詠的詩篇,歌頌的是短暫如煙的美夢,抑或是遙不可及的自由?12Please respect copyright.PENANAfC1dwuH8J6
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手術室外的長廊異常寧靜,等待指示燈熄滅的每分每秒皆是耗人心神的漫長。12Please respect copyright.PENANAYCU1EBFLCY
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早在醫院等候多時的桃井雖臉上難掩焦慮,但仍冷靜地協助處理了許多手續。待赤司與黑子兩人抵達醫院時,她才發現自己緊握的手心已全是冷汗。12Please respect copyright.PENANAfr3qbubnJV
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“是敗血症併發的多重器官衰竭,醫生說……要有面對最壞結果的心理準備…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAnl0b3v1Y6o
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自頰邊滑下的汗落了地,後來的桃井又說了什麼,赤司已經記不得。他的冷靜早在接過黑子手上的信紙時消逝殆盡,此刻的他腦中只有混沌一片的空白。他望著頭頂的手術指示燈不發一語,好似靈魂已隨著視線穿過手術室的門,落到了正與死神搏鬥的男人的面前,失去思考的他,連黑子悄悄覆上的手心也未察覺。12Please respect copyright.PENANAnrlJ0UYTrz
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桃井將這動作看在眼裡,心底立即明白了些什麼,但她並沒有說破,只是交代下回實驗室去幫兩人取些用品便離開了。她並不知道赤司所抱持的複雜心思,可還是選擇了相信自己的直覺─有些心情,並不適合自己幫助分擔,尤其是一碰就灰飛煙滅的脆弱。12Please respect copyright.PENANAkf0F6QYpA2
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走廊的一邊,忙碌的醫護人員與病患家屬來來去去,沒有人注意到角落手術室外靜靜等待的兩道身影。12Please respect copyright.PENANALsfKJqdjZ0
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赤司沒有說話,他的神色不如桃井來得焦慮,甚至可以稱得上是平靜,可早烙入黑子記憶裡的,卻是流逝的分秒也無法抹去的驚愕。深知安慰或鼓勵都不是此刻的赤司需要的東西,黑子選擇了緊握對方的手。12Please respect copyright.PENANAd8w77kV8ZA
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手術指示燈始終泛著明亮的光芒,無法預知結果的等待是種折磨人的煎熬,蔚藍的雙眼因漫長等待而開始發痠,可黑子始終緊盯著前方,不想錯過燈光可能熄滅的下一秒。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuvTrVsd7Xs
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“…這二十年來…我的堅持,究竟是為了什麼?”幽幽的聲音自身邊傳來,黑子愣了下,看向了身邊的人。那雙不知聚焦在何處的赤眸,沒了昔日的奕奕神采,此刻只有滿滿自嘲。出口的話同收緊的拳,正不自覺地顫抖,像是在對黑子說,又像是自言自語,“我不會原諒他的…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAE8CXeSu5rN
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“赤司君…”過多的矛盾令黑子一句話也說不出口,赤司征十郎與赤司弘彥的微笑不斷交替出現,每個眨眼閃過的景象都像被赤司捏緊的信件,再也回不到平整無暇的從前。12Please respect copyright.PENANAJZU2EBRhCu
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還有誰會帶著微笑在故事的末章等候?沒有人知道,也無暇顧及了。12Please respect copyright.PENANAUHh90CDJZC
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啪的一聲,手術燈熄滅的聲音劃破寂靜。12Please respect copyright.PENANAEVF7TJk9la
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“吶,你還記得嗎?我們的結婚紀念日。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAc4H9oLHull
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“怎麼可能會忘記呢,這串跟了我一輩子的數字。”12Please respect copyright.PENANACP555wLg2z
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充滿美好回憶的嘻笑聲彷彿還殘留在耳邊,那本該與幸福劃上等號的永遠,驟然破碎在敞開的保險箱映入眼底的瞬間。12Please respect copyright.PENANAfQY6l9LWkv
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“妳…”總是片刻不離身的冷靜已不復見,男人近乎怒吼的質問迴盪在小小空間的書房,“妳做了什麼!?”12Please respect copyright.PENANAt6YftsPDK3
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“嗶─嗶─嗶─”12Please respect copyright.PENANAQxjL7JSkFC
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規律頻率的器械聲響伴隨著刺鼻的藥水味迎面而來,視線在一片灰白的天花板停留許久,男人緩緩睜開的雙眼仍帶著迷茫。身體像灌了鉛般沉重,手腳像被抽光力氣般無力,男人費了一番力氣才撐起上半身。只是個轉身的簡單動作,赤司弘彥做來卻十分吃力,痛苦的神情表露無遺。12Please respect copyright.PENANAueadKrG602
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“…征十郎?”即刻相交的視線讓男人明白自己的兒子早守在病床旁許久,有了這樣的認知,赤司弘彥嘴邊忍不住揚起輕淺的笑容,“你來了…我終於等到了呢,你願意主動來見我的這一天…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAlpgubNXDgn
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成了氣音的字句雖微弱,但也足夠傳進一旁的赤司征十郎耳裡,然而赤司只是抱臂坐在病床邊,除了將視線落在父親身上之外,便沒有任何進一步的動作。12Please respect copyright.PENANAJzlnQHJlZg
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“抱歉,我隱瞞了生病…還有早已簽了DNR①同意書的事…咳咳…”自指縫間溢出的血滴染紅了男人的手,可事已至此,男人也不甚在乎了,“很早以前,我就做好了迎向死亡的心理準備,只是有些事,我還是希望能在死前親口對你說…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAj2EyYodNxh
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“你要說的事,也包括這個嗎?”終於開口打破二十年來兩人之間的無話可說,赤司移動腳步至病床邊,掏出懷裡的信紙在男人面前攤開。12Please respect copyright.PENANAgsxJYY3wkh
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“這是…”赤司弘彥瞇起眼,看清信的內容後,神色染上了淡淡悲淒,“原來…詩織還是選擇告訴你了…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAkiVU7lhA6X
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“這是怎麼回事?為什麼…她會說…”忍住了揪起男人衣領的衝動,赤司握緊了手裡的信紙,力道之大幾乎快將那紙捏碎。12Please respect copyright.PENANA0hyZWgzvH2
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沉默維持了片刻,赤司弘彥吐出了很長的一口嘆息,那裡頭有著終能放下謊言的釋然,但更多的是必須令他面對殘酷真相的不忍。12Please respect copyright.PENANAoOZvcveEdt
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“詩織她…生病了。我埋首研究多年,廢寢忘食甚至背負鉅款,便是希望有一天這研究能將她從痛苦中解放出來…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAKftzu37P5O
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“動物與人類的基因相互轉殖,我之所以專精這研究議題,對外是宣稱能取得動物的超凡能力並加以運用,但真正的目的是透過基因轉殖,利用可操縱的動物能力…甚至是精神力來扼殺另一個精神個體…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAzgeV4F1For
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“但是…我還沒能成功…這一切就變了…”將臉埋進了顫抖的手心,赤司弘彥的聲音夾雜了哽咽,“我沒能救她…反而讓她被寂寞吞噬…助長了她心中的怪物…”12Please respect copyright.PENANARPLzcudWv6
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“母親她…生了什麼病?”他聽見自己的聲音,是猶豫的,也是,害怕的…那些帶著女人微笑的記憶,頓時被敲碎灑了整地。12Please respect copyright.PENANANxGXldL0oy
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“解離性人格疾患…也就是所謂的多重人格。”這次男人猶豫了許久才開口。12Please respect copyright.PENANAkRN7IDU2x0
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“…怎麼可能…”從不曾出現在他與母親之間的詞彙竟讓赤司笑了,光憑這荒誕的言論便想推翻他與母親的美好回憶嗎?這實在太過可笑。12Please respect copyright.PENANAPLF9pHghQB
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“如果,我能早點察覺就好了…這樣…或許能避免另一個悲劇產生…”他的推拒反應也在男人預料中,雖然提及過去對自己及兒子都殘忍至極,但卻更不忍眼前的人再繼續深陷謊言,“我只是想救詩織,只是想給你們母子倆更好的生活…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAGq4uJBHg6L
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闔眼便能見的幸福,為何會在轉眼間變成只能追憶的遺憾?12Please respect copyright.PENANAxcGK8SM76a
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“這是我的成果,能讓人類持有動物的特性。只要透過口服的方式便能進入人體了。不過這都還在實驗階段,而且解藥也還不穩定,仍需依靠注射的方式來恢復原狀…”12Please respect copyright.PENANA6a9gVgL0iL
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“很厲害呢!”12Please respect copyright.PENANAjWZ8JAW97C
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手裡拿著男人遞過來的玻璃瓶,書房的白光穿過純淨透明的液體,落在女人發亮的美麗眸子上。那時的他們,仍堅信著彼此眼中的光芒是什麼也無法將之取代的寶物。12Please respect copyright.PENANAiappwTXCVX
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“那天她突然告訴我…她受夠了,受夠了等待…受夠了我永遠不會歸來的無奈…我知道,她溫柔的外表下藏著的是如何壓抑的控制慾…也知道,她只是希望我多放點注意力在她身上…但是…”赤司弘彥攢緊了衣擺,那垂下的眼眸彷彿即將滲出淚滴。“我怎麼也沒想到她會打開保險箱…取走了實驗用的藥瓶…甚至是…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAmjcgdQtYFm
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“你騙人!”赤司打斷了男人,“那個時候你明明就對我注射了藥…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAKEBTtFRHM0
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“沒有錯,當時我對你注射的…是解藥。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAFkCj0ywOpu
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男人的目光過於堅定,赤司只覺得一股冷意自腳底直竄而上,凍得他渾身發顫,“但是那畢竟是尚處於實驗階段的藥…連我自己也不知道能否成功,可是,也只能賭賭看了…為了觀察藥效是否成功發揮,我將實驗室搬回家裡…為的是能準確觀察你的狀況…但很快地,我就知道藥失敗了…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAKzCApUlpPb
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此話一出,赤司突然什麼都懂了。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuAmUQgmLxp
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“那麼…讓我的身體變成這樣的人是……”他能感受到置身於冰窖般的冷冽,比常人運轉還要來得迅速的腦袋也讓他比別人更快體會痛徹心扉。12Please respect copyright.PENANAaR7CtpsKC6
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“征十郎是個溫柔的孩子呢。”12Please respect copyright.PENANADA4RLRIqk5
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“今天是你的生日,我們應該開心點才是。我烤了蛋糕,還有征十郎最喜歡的湯豆腐哦。”12Please respect copyright.PENANAK1ZvgVaFZ2
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“我做得這麼努力,征十郎可要吃光哦?”12Please respect copyright.PENANAlVuCjuUcHX
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“這不是真的…騙人…騙人…”至親的臉龐歷歷在目,回憶是把雙面刃,可以美好的令人置身天堂,卻也能殘酷的將人打入地獄。赤司抱著頭,接連後退了好幾步,連帶將後頭的椅子也撞翻了。12Please respect copyright.PENANAIJLg2GFcsV
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這二十年來的信任,一輩子的精神支柱,原來都只是他單方面的幻想?原來他對母親而言,不過就是個道具,不過是藉此挽回男人注意力的道具…早已崩解的思緒殘破不堪,表現在他失序的心跳與喘息上。12Please respect copyright.PENANAmRta0oc1Jr
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“如果你說的是真的,那為什麼…還要發表那篇研究…又為什麼要隱瞞著我…你明知我的痛苦!明知道被憎恨纏身的我過著怎樣的生活!”12Please respect copyright.PENANA198qmb3iCc
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竭盡全力的嘶吼是他首次在男人面前展露的真實自我,明知這樣也換不回失去的幸福,但除了將所有責任歸咎於男人的隱瞞之外,他又能怎麼做?12Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2v063Ctx3
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如果這都是真的,那他還能相信誰?還能相信什麼?12Please respect copyright.PENANAdhmfMBbh4g
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“我知道、我都知道…但是…我想幫助你啊…儘管知道這麼做只會讓你更恨我。說到底,這一切都是我造成的…是我研發了那藥…是我讓詩織的病變嚴重,所以我寧願你恨我一輩子…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAtF7o7QJco5
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“詩織她…在你的心中是那樣的完美…我又怎麼忍心告訴你真相。倘若我能早點察覺真正的幸福是什麼就好了…就不會傷害了你和詩織。對不起,征十郎…對不起…我一直都想向你道歉…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAwt6zDnANUh
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“你現在說這些,又有什麼用?道歉了…又能挽回什麼?”他想哭,冀望湧出的眼淚能帶走悲傷與憤怒,可充血的雙眼卻怎麼也不肯回應他的逼迫。12Please respect copyright.PENANAuRzcMt2UdI
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“我知道…我是個失職的丈夫與父親,也從不奢望你原諒我…我只是想說…在臨死前,多麼希望再聽到一次你呼喚我,喊我一聲‘父親’…這樣就夠了…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAJaRLlqcWRk
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“……”12Please respect copyright.PENANA3xrqjhhXLb
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他向來痛恨背叛與欺騙,而這男人,兩者皆有。因為這個男人,他挖空了所有無謂的感情,掏盡了一生的光陰去憎恨,更讓自己變成沒有靈魂的行屍走肉。12Please respect copyright.PENANAPyqtc1TsAk
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他失去了太多,也錯過了太多。而今,連支持著自己的唯一存在都被奪走,他早已一無所有。是男人眼中的世界太過簡單嗎?怎會認為光憑一個道歉,便能撫平跟隨了他過半生命的折磨?12Please respect copyright.PENANAwndko3x75M
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他該狠狠甩上房門,頭也不回地離去,獨留悔恨伴隨男人走完生命的最後一程。12Please respect copyright.PENANARZj0l9sM7d
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可是、可是…12Please respect copyright.PENANA1PMOOhT2T8
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早該被扼殺了的猶豫,此刻卻綁緊了雙腳,無法移動分毫。赤司站在原地,看著點滴生命力漸漸自男人體內流失。他只是站在原地,任由擠不出隻字片語的乾澀爬滿喉頭。12Please respect copyright.PENANAnHhaGptxaP
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緩緩伸出手,觸不到的臉龐上出現的掙扎、自己親生兒子在想些什麼,男人怎會不懂。赤司弘彥露出了釋懷的笑容,好似下一秒便離世也無謂的了無遺憾。12Please respect copyright.PENANAdIBc7PnxGu
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好冷。12Please respect copyright.PENANAywB08P1MtR
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醫院的冷氣讓桃井不自覺打了個哆嗦,她抱緊雙臂蜷縮在長椅的一角,半夢半醒間,似乎有個溫暖的東西覆上了雙肩,身體頓時也溫暖許多。纖長的睫毛動了動,緩緩睜開的眼前是黑子哲也放大的臉。12Please respect copyright.PENANANmejLkrsrY
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“咦?哲、哲君?”桃井瞬間清醒了,“唔…原來我睡著了啊,這外套…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAy9nQfci65B
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“是我的外套,桃井小姐不嫌棄的話請用吧,若是感冒就不好了。”黑子笑了下,替桃井將歪了的外套拉好。12Please respect copyright.PENANAHVu03EdPM9
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“謝謝,我真是的,竟然睡著了…哲君要不要也休息一下?你看起來很累呢…”12Please respect copyright.PENANASwJKspZLT6
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“我沒關係的,只是赤司君他…”12Please respect copyright.PENANAYMynN2cg5V
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黑子搖搖頭,正想說些什麼時,加護病房的門打開了。12Please respect copyright.PENANAfEtkQ1Ffgc
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“啊,小赤…情況如…”桃井快步跑到赤司身邊,本想詢問赤司弘彥的狀況,但一接觸到赤司陰鬱的神色,心裡多少也有了底。畢竟是個對自己還算照顧的長輩,思及此,連桃井也不禁紅了眼眶。12Please respect copyright.PENANAP3OIBG9ppL
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周身空氣頓時染滿了哀淒,驟失神采的男人臉上只有憔悴與疲憊。赤司只是看了對面的黑子一眼,隨即便伸手將後者拉進懷裡。12Please respect copyright.PENANA9QCQuYRZJM
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“啊、我…去打個電話。”一向冷靜的赤司作出這番舉動的確是令人驚訝,可也不是不能理解赤司的心情,桃井輕拭去眼角的淚水,將這空間留給了兩人。12Please respect copyright.PENANABpoxxEV0Ak
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比起瞬間出現錯愕的桃井,黑子的反應卻是始終如一的平淡。他任由赤司抱著,直到桃井的背影消失在視野盡頭,才伸手緩緩地推開眼前的人。12Please respect copyright.PENANALdTnhcJ6mA
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“赤司君…”那雙抬起的藍眸裡,正映著與對方初遇時的平靜,還有不曾想過逃避的無所畏懼,“他在哪裡?”12Please respect copyright.PENANALLLQYYLZq7
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他看見了,男人嘴邊的狂妄笑意。12Please respect copyright.PENANAEDEO2YA45g
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TBC12Please respect copyright.PENANASeGG44nETC
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①DNR:Do not resuscitate,又譯為放棄心肺復甦術、放棄急救同意書,也稱為拒絕緊急救治(No Code)或No CPR,是一種法律文書,病患在平時或在醫院時預先簽署,表明當他們面臨心跳停止或呼吸停止的狀況時,不願意接受心肺復甦術(Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, CPR)或高級心臟救命術(Advanced cardiac life support, ACLS)來延長生命。12Please respect copyright.PENANA94ZRk1KmJl
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赤司父母的名字都是在開始寫這篇時才出現的,所以父親就不予修改了,但母親就沿用了官方給的名字。不過其實這篇裡赤父的形象,為了劇情所以做了更動,本就和原本的赤父不大一樣,這點就請讀者多包涵了(汗)。12Please respect copyright.PENANAxIjBDOhUvm
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最近突然發現這篇文章裡沒有幾個正常人(不)…赤司可以算是裡面最無辜的人了吧QQ 12Please respect copyright.PENANAB1USpL9mMX
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