面試只不過是例行公事,老朋友在面試後說下星期一可以上班。
我並不期望她會做得很久,但肯踏出家門上班,對她的康復進度來說相當重要,可惜結果不似預期,她上不了一星期班就不幹了。
老朋友說她相當健忘,吩咐她做的工作很快就忘掉了,不明白地方又不懂發問,時常發呆,有時更在辦公室內昏睡,老闆娘見到她的情況頗有微言。阿儀的自尊心很強,星期五就跟老朋友說辭職。
我承認這次真的操之過急,她的情況跟Joyce完全不同,我絕不應該照辦煮碗,這一刻,我害怕阿儀會因此失去僅有的信心。很遺憾,她真的倒退回返工之前的宅女躺平狀況,更一度拒絕跟我見面。
阿儀中風後的情況,再加上新工作崗位的不順利,弄得我心力交瘁,身體上又多了點毛病,常常覺得疲累口渴,尿頻情況越來越嚴重,此外腳掌還有莫名痛楚。
我是個諱疾忌醫的人,再加上保安這工作常常要站立,工時又長,腳痛疲累是等閒事。
但最終我還是聽從了一位已經在我心內佔據重要位置的人的叮嚀,Joyce從短訊得悉我有這樣的情況,立即來電慰問,她罕有焦急的不斷催促我看醫生,我不知怎的,心悅誠服地蹲從她的建議立即預約,最終證實患了糖尿病。幸好算是早發現,早晚只需吃藥控制血糖,否則會不會截肢,或者有其他併發症,實在很難說。
在這裏,衷心感謝Joyce那一次及時的緊張。儘管我暫時無法跟妳再進一步,我還是當你是我最好的知心。
之後Joyce還有一次緊張帶著類似的緊張來電,那是我終於失了守,中了新冠,告訴她的一刻。
最終還是我比她先感染,但她身體似乎有些特殊抗體,直至現在,她還未感染過新冠。
相反阿儀對於我感染新冠,沒有太大的反應。她過往對疫情怕得要命,甚至幾乎因為害怕受感染,耽誤就醫因小失大,丟失性命。但現在的她,卻好像毫不在乎般,換轉過往,一定緊張得失控。
因為疫情已經持續了好一段長時間,我已一早預備好足夠糧食,隔離的七天總算不愁飲食,但一個人在家著實百無聊賴,總要找些打發,於是很自然地,打開手機的串流程式唱起歌來。自從阿儀出了事再加上上班的關係,已經好一段日子沒有唱歌了。
我還作出了一項突破,就是把唱歌的片段,公開的上載到分享平台,這是過往沒膽量做的事情,但到了現在不知怎的有了這股勇氣。之後更跟Joyce分享了,她稱讚我歌藝比先前進步,歌聲多了點味道。我少了唱歌,但反而進步了,也不知道她是純粹想鼓勵我還是什麼!
一個人呆在家多了不少思前想後,特別是跟阿儀的關係應該如何維持,當中更有著不少現實環境的考慮。好像我現在得了新冠,幸好是病情輕微,但若果不幸病況嚴重呢?我可能無法起床造飯,沒人照料的話,我豈不是會餓死?她現在的思想行為跟小女孩無異,覺得跟她的關係,像兩父女多於情侶。
可是我絕對不能忘恩負義拋棄她,假若伯母跟隨了世伯仙遊,而我又不再理她,她孤零零一個沒人照顧,她平生沒做過壞事,這樣待她太殘忍,太不公平了。
但跟Joyce那種特有的共鳴,和她對自己那種特殊的關切,心裡實在無法壓制得住某些情感的泛起,可以令我憧憬婚姻,有信心的跟她長相廝守。
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相反阿儀卻從未帶給我這種對結婚的渴望………..
ns 15.158.61.48da2