明顯瘦削了的阿儀,說話的速度遠比過往緩慢,當然這所謂的緩慢是相對性的,現在的說話速度,其實跟一個普通人相若。
臉容雖然仍帶點憔悴,但她心情似乎很不錯,說話滔滔不絕的,只是有點咬字不清。
當然,我們從跟她的對話中,已經無法否認一個既定事實,她甦醒後,已經銳變成為一位小女孩。
她抱怨醫院內沒有人跟她玩耍,太早關電視累她無所事事,又不讓她落床走動。此外,她三番四次問我們今天星期幾,回答她不到兩分鐘,又會重複再問,幸好她還未至於如電視劇的橋段般,連身邊人也完全忘掉。
由於已經甦醒,和生理上的情況漸趨穩定,醫院很快把她搬進療養院,亦開始了密集的物理和職業治療。而阿儀所需的日常生活所需物資,有賴伯母風雨不改送上,但由於禁止探訪關係,她只能在病房門口按鐘,讓醫院員工替她傳遞。
直到她出院前,我們再做了兩次視像探訪,但記憶力似乎沒有顯著的改善,跟她說過的話會很快忘記。而行為上,跟一個七歲小朋友沒兩樣。
這段日子自己的心情,也不知怎樣的描繪,阿儀出事之後,我腦海不斷閃過過往跟她一起的片段,有喜樂有憤怒,但大致上都是愉快的,她的確很疼愛關心自己,只是這種愛比較高壓,間中令我喘不過氣來。
但無可否認,直至目前為止,阿儀是全世界對我最好的人,但又要承受我的自私無能。她一路以來的神經質和現在遭遇到的不幸,是不是我連累她呢?
我還要有那麼多怨言,更甚的,心裡面有了另一個女人。我爸爸拋棄妻兒,扼殺我年輕時代追尋自己夢想的機會,自此非常憎恨這類人型物體。
但想不到,我似乎正複製著這渣男之路。
這陣子跟Joyce只有短訊上的聯絡,我們互相分享新崗位的點滴,我如實告訴她阿儀的情況,她從文字中處處流露出關心,主動傳給我不少有關處理中風病人的網址連結,她提醒我那輛滑板車還在她家,並把它清潔消毒過,還貼心的以膠袋包好。
我暫時沒有什麼心情碰這玩意,所以回覆不用還給我,就當作生日禮物送給她。
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一個月後,阿儀終於出院了,但因為新工作地點人手緊絀,那天無法接她出院。直到這個終於可以放例假的星期四,懷著期待的心情,上到她家………….
ns 15.158.61.55da2