i am actually genuinely breaking. i feel this pure sadness in my stomach and my heart is aching. i can physically feel it hurting me. i don’t know what to do anymore, i need someone to talk to but i can’t talk to my girl because she’s struggling with her own things. i have no one else. like i do not have a single person in my life who would understand me. i have max 2 friends and my gf. that’s it. i’m pretty sure im at my lowest right now. i’ve never felt like this ever and i break down every single night. im meant to be getting therapy but i dont want it because why would i talk to random strangers about how i feel? no one apart from me can understand what’s going on inside my head. i dont wanna die but i cant live like this. every day is getting worse for me and although im almost 2 months clean the urges are still there. i just want to tear myself apart until there’s nothing left but i can’t i can’t do this anymore i dont know what to do please help me it hurts
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