today is the 3rd of january 2024. the day i was meant to kill myself. but guess who’s still here? i’ve decided i can’t go, not yet atleast. i need to be here for my girlfriend, i can’t imagine life without her and i can’t leave her like that. i don’t want my friends and family to get that call. i can’t do that to them. i’d hurt so many people, just because im hurt. i’m not sure if life is getting better, i can’t tell right now. i’m like a mess of confusion. i can be happy obviously, like people make me smile and laugh. especially my girlfriend, she makes my heart feel so warm. but deep down i’m still trying so desperately to climb out of that dark void. i’m glad im not dead. that means i have a tiny bit of hope left in me. and i’m living for it. (quite literally). i was meant to go at around 10-10:30pm. but my girlfriend was texting me. she basically saved my life. if it weren’t for her texting me, then i could be dead right now. i can never repay her. she’s my lifesaver.
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Penana
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