It was with a heavy heart, but a tiny sliver of hope, that Summer arrived back at her apartment that evening. The day had been long, especially considering she didn't have her usual companion to talk to. The hours of waiting and hoping that he'd call dragged on for more than it seemed possible in a day. Even now, as she closed the door to her car and shuffled her feet towards the stairs of Building B, it felt much later in the day than it actually was.
The clock on her phone read 8:30. She sighed, putting away her device and tromping slowly up the stairs to her suite. It was too late to make a proper dinner, and there wasn't anything interesting on tv about this time. Well, that left little else other than Netflix in terms of how she'd be enjoying her evening. Maybe she'd spend the rest of her time cuddling with Max for comfort. Or maybe she'd just go to bed early.
Ascending the stairs and finally getting to the second floor balcony, Summer dug around in her purse for her keys, unable to see much in the darkness of the night. Crickets chirping were most of what she could hear, save for the muffled and faint noises of a tv on in some other suite. Perhaps Soma was watching his favorite shows again.
The thought of going next door and visiting Hitomi was tempting, but Summer honestly wasn't in the best state of mind, and she'd simply drag down the mood anyways. Best to just deal with this funk herself and go over at a better time. Besides, her friend probably had a lot to do for work.
Her fingers finally touched the metal keys and dragged them out from the black pit that was her bag. They jangled as she tried identifying which one was for her front door, and after several minutes of fumbling and trial and error, the correct key slid into the lock and the door opened with a click.
Her dark, empty apartment felt just as cold and unwelcoming as it normally did, save for the ever-present smell of cat that now persisted in it. For one little cat, the fur ball sure did make himself at home. The cat in particular, now much bigger than he had been when she'd originally adopted him, jumped up onto the kitchen counter just as she turned the lights on and shut the door.
"Max, you know you're no allowed up there." Summer scolded gently, putting away all of her stuff into the appropriate spots before shucking her shoes off. The blonde wandered over to the counter and picked the cat up, ignoring his unamused meow in disagreement of being moved. "Oh, don't pout. You know the rules."
He meowed a few times more as she made her way down the hall to her bedroom. Max tried jumping out of her hold, pushing his paw against her chest, but she held tight. Her feet carried them both over to the bed, where she placed him gently atop the covers. He seemed unsure of where he was for a moment, before sniffing the comforter lazily, experimentally kneading his paws into the soft fabric.
Summer left the cat to figure out if he wanted to truly lay down or not, off to change into her pajamas for the evening. The pants and blouse she'd worn during the day were thrown into the hamper, replaced instead by a pair of yoga pants that had never once attended a yoga class, and a loose t-shirt with a batman logo on the front. The day's tangles were brushed from her hair and she tied it all into a loose bun atop her head. Feeling much more comfortable now that she could relax at home a bit, and perhaps wallow her sorrow in that leftover tub of ice cream she knew was in the freezer, Summer wandered back into her living room to turn on the tv.
An hour later, she found herself tucked into a nest of blankets, clutching the ice cream container and a spoon, watching the end of the first episode for that night's binge session. It was a new series she'd thought about trying, and the pilot episode had already caught her interest. Netflix automatically flipped to the second episode, and she shifted more comfortably as she leaned her head on the couch's cushioned arm.
The show itself was a re-imagination of the artist Leonardo Da Vinci, and the fantastical tale of both his factual life and fictitious events to make the plot more enjoyable. What's more, the episodes were an hour long, giving her plenty of material to watch over the course of the week. The opening intro played, and she settled in to watch some more.
Despite using Netflix as a mode of forgetting her problems, they still wormed their way up through her thoughts as the episode wore on. She found herself more in her head than in the present, and found that after awhile, she had no idea what was going on in the show because her mind had drifted elsewhere.
Was Law really alright? It had been nearly three days since the last she'd heard from him. That wasn't normal. How could Corazon be so confident that things would turn out ok? Maybe he was just an optimist. Maybe he knew Law much better than she did. Maybe he knew something she didn't. Maybe…
No, surely if Corazon knew something important, he'd tell her. Right? They were close friends. And if it pertained to her especially, surely he'd have the decency to at least keep her informed…Right? The longer she thought about it, the worse she doubted herself. And Corazon. And Law.
No, no. Corazon hasn't done anything to warrant your doubt. She had to remind herself. Corazon wasn't the one that had ignored her for two days straight. Though for as much as what Law was doing was slowly chipping away at her patience, unearthing the usually dormant anger Summer rarely allowed to show, her worry for his safety and wellbeing was stronger. If something was wrong, wouldn't he say something? Wouldn't they talk about it? They could settle anything that came between them, in some way or another.
Summer jerked up at the sound of a gentle knock at her door. She grabbed the remote and turned down the volume on the tv, pausing Netflix so she wouldn't miss the entire episode from spacing out, and slowly unfurled herself from the nest she'd created for herself in the blankets.
The blonde found herself frowning, though that spark of hope began to grow in her chest as she approached the door. Visitors weren't really something she got often, and even then it was usually only one of three different people. She stood on her tiptoes, looking through the peephole to see who it was.
Eyes widening, she quickly unlocked the door and threw it open, staring up at a disheveled-looking Law. Hair tousled and greasy, clothes looking worse for wear, like he'd been wearing them two days in a row. His gaze was on the ground, hands stuffed in his pockets, but when she opened the door, he looked up with a painful expression. The dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced than usual. He hadn't been sleeping from the looks of it.
"Goddamn it, Law. Where have you been?" She asked a bit harshly, and he simply looked away without an answer. They stood there for another few seconds, before Summer stepped forward with a sigh of relief and wrapped her arms around his figure. "I've been so worried about you…don't scare me like that again."
Law stared down at the blonde hugging him tightly, and the uncertainty he'd been filled with just before she'd opened the door seemed to ease a degree. While she may be angry, that wasn't her first priority. She'd been worried about him. She cared about him. Her relief at seeing him alright was worth more than the desire to be angry with him for being away for so long, giving no explanation as to what was going on.
He let out a stuttered breath and wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller woman, pulling her in as close as he could without cutting off her oxygen supply. Eyes closing as his nose inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume, Law felt the tension leave his muscles if only for a moment, happy to simply have her in his arms.
Fuck him, he didn't deserve her understanding. He deserved her anger and wrath, any suspicion she may have buried beneath the worry, but surely not the concern for his wellbeing. He didn't deserve that.
She seemed just as content to stand there and accept his unusual need for close contact, smiling into his chest as he squeezed her a bit tighter. His close proximity, his scent, his warmth, it made her feel so much safer. And, if she concentrated hard enough, she could almost swear that he was shaking. Perhaps from relief. Perhaps from fear.
"I'm sorry." She heard him breathe just beside her ear. Smiling like an idiot, she shook her head as much as his embrace would allow, finding it within herself to chuckle a little.
"It's alright."
"No, it's not." He replied a regretfully.
"Don't worry about it." Came her muffled reply. With her face shoved up against his shirt, she could say nothing louder than that. She felt him pull back from squeezing her quite so hard. Looking up to see his face, she almost didn't react in time to accept his insistent kiss.
"Mmm." Was her muffled groan, greedily responding to his touch. His hands cradled the back of her head and her waist, angling her just as he liked to deepen their lip lock. Summer's hands slowly moved up his chest, fingers finally grasping the front of his shirt and pulling him backwards into her apartment. They'd been standing just outside up to this point, and she realized that too much more of this may attract an unwelcome audience.
Law seemed to understand her intent, and followed inside after her, closing the door behind him with his foot. The whole time they moved, their lips never parted, hungrily moving against each other as if to apologize and forgive without the need for words.
As soon as the front door closed behind him, Law gripped her waist a bit tighter and pushed her gently until her back was to the wall. Summer felt a shiver run down her spine as Law's kiss reached a frantic level of desperation she'd never felt before, as if this were the last time he'd ever get the chance to kiss her, and he was making the most of it.
Even panting for air, Summer continued to come back for more, letting all of the frustration melt away. With him here now, her fears and worries seemed childish. Whatever it was that was on his mind, whatever had been going on, he was sure to explain and Summer would feel ridiculous for even having worried in the first place. She was sure of it.
They kissed until they absolutely couldn't breathe. The both of them broke away, panting heavily to replenish their missing oxygen with eyes closed. Foreheads leaning against each other, their breaths mingling together in the space between their lips. Summer was the first to open her eyes, a sliver of her concern returning when she saw the nearly pained expression on Law's face.
He must have felt her eyes on him, because only a moment later, he opened his own gray eyes and stared down into hers. They both stayed this way for several minutes, allowing them both time to gain back their breath, and memorize the color of each other's eyes.
Summer could see the hesitation in Law's posture, in his slightly furrowed brow, in the way his eyes crinkled from doubt. The mood lessened as she began to notice the little signs that not everything was back to how it should be. Her fingers released his shirt and drifted slowly up his neck to his face, tracing his cheekbones with a featherlight touch.
"What's going on?" She whispered as her face fell slightly, and he broke their long stare to look to the side.
"I'll explain everything but…you should probably sit down."
Summer eyed Law as he paced the space in front of the couch where she was sitting, wringing his hands together and looking anywhere but her. The sheer amount of emotion he was displaying through body language was so unlike him, who was normally so meticulous about keeping himself calm. She waited patiently, having been anxious to hear what exactly was going on for a few minutes now, but Law still hadn't began his story. As if he didn't know where to start.
"Law, just sit." She finally said, patting the spot beside her on the couch. He paused, and finally did as she suggested, but sat instead on the ground in front of her legs. Before she could ask what he was doing, he turned his back to her and leaned his head on her knees. It seemed to calm his nerves somewhat, though she didn't understand the significance. But at least it prompted him to begin speaking.
"I already told you what happened to my parents." He stated, and she nodded with a hum, indicating her understanding. "I told you the truth, but there is more to the story than just what you know."
"…" Summer said nothing, allowing him to continue without interruption. Law inhaled and exhaled a large breath, as if steeling himself for what he was about to say next.
"Right after they died…I was lost. Like I said before, I was sent away to one of those state houses, but I ran away a few months later. I tried going back to my family's house, but it was boarded up, so there was nothing I could do and nowhere I could go.
"I didn't want to go back to the state house, so I decided I'd just wander the streets instead. Back then, I…" He stopped, swallowing reluctantly. "…I just wished someone would finish the job and end my misery. That's why I kept to the rough parts of town and caused trouble."
Summer felt a wave of sorrow at hearing him admit that. She'd known he had it rough when he'd lost his parents and sister, but she didn't even think about the aftereffects and what Law might have been thinking after everything settled itself.
For several moments, Law remained quiet, and Summer felt that he needed a little nudge to keep talking. Wanting to provide some sort of comfort, she reached forward and began running her fingers gently through his messy hair. "What sort of trouble?"
The blonde saw the tiny flinch when she touched him, but he seemed to relax into her legs a bit more after getting used to the sensation. He shrugged, shaking his head against her knees in response. "Mostly I just stole things, or vandalized in areas I knew were high-risk places for gangs. Anything I could to provoke them, really."
"What happened afterwards?"
"I finally got the attention I'd been hoping for, and a few guys from this one gang cornered me in an alley one night. Beat me almost to death."
"Oh my god…" She whispered under her breath.
"It's not that surprising. Everything I'd done up to that point…I was literally asking for it. I wanted to die back then, but for some reason they didn't kill me." Law's voice turned faraway, as if recalling that exact moment and wondering once again why they hadn't.
"When I came back around, there was this guy standing over me, and I thought he was there to finish me off. But he took me back to this hideout and that's when I met Joker."
"…Joker…As in, the comics?" Summer asked, feeling stupid. Thankfully Law didn't react too negatively. Though a tiny sigh did escape his lips.
"No, that was his street name."
"Oh…sorry."
"It's fine." He dismissed it, knowing she didn't have a clue how things worked in that kind of world. The feeling of her fingers gently trailing his scalp was soothing, enticing him to spill his story with fewer hesitations than he'd expected. Perhaps she'd be understanding after all. "Once I met Joker, he must have seen something he liked in me, because he offered me a place with his organization, and…probably the worst decision of my life…I took him up on it."
"…" Summer didn't say anything at first.
"…" Law waited for her to process what he'd said, and it didn't take too long.
"You…joined a gang." She stated, and he nodded slowly.
"Yeah…" The shame was obvious in his voice, but he supposed she may still think otherwise. Plus, 'gang' was the light version of the actual word. A cartel was a bit more serious than what she currently thought. "14 year old me thought that was the best decision I could make, but looking back now, well, hindsight is always clearer I guess."
"…" Summer said nothing, and Law took that as his cue to continue.
"I started doing small jobs for them, earning their trust. They'd still beat you if they felt you didn't do things right or that you were betraying them, but eventually they lessened." He closed his eyes, knowing the next part would probably not sit well with her. "Once they felt I was in it for the long run, they set me up to deal drugs."
"…" Law couldn't see her face, but he swore he could hear a tiny sigh from behind him. Her legs shifted, and her hand paused for a brief second on his head. He continued on though, knowing she deserved to hear the whole truth, as unpleasant and damning as it may be.
"I did that for awhile, even going so far as to begin making a name for myself. People owed me favors, they respected me, because they were afraid of me and who I worked for.
"Law, did you…" Summer started, her voice wavering just enough that he noticed. "I mean…did you actually…like doing all of that?"
"…" There was a long pause. He thought about lying to preserve a bit of his own dignity and self image, but it was futile at this point. There was nothing left to hold on to, really. His head fell a little. "For a time…a long time…yeah. I did. But I started to realize that I was part of the very thing that had taken my family away to begin with, and I started regretting it.
"By the time I started to see reason, there was nowhere for me to run. I couldn't get out without help even if I'd wanted to."
She said nothing more, and so he kept talking. "It was shortly after that time when I found Corazon. Or, he found me, rather. He told me to get out while I could, and offered to give me a job and a place to stay. At first I ran away, but I came back and took him up on it."
Summer's extended silence was beginning to make him nervous, but his tale wasn't finished, and so he continued on. The faster he got this over with, the sooner he would know if everything he cared about would be yanked away. Yet again.
"It's been years, years, since I left. I haven't heard a word from them since. Until a few days ago. That's why I haven't been answering." His gaze unconsciously drifted down to his hands which were folded neatly in his lap. Somehow, he couldn't look away from them. "They want me back…and…"
A part of him couldn't finish the sentence, knowing that this was the make or break point he was so afraid of. What would she say? What would she do? He could feel her shift behind him on the couch.
"…and?" She prompted, causing a sigh to escape from his lips.
"…" Law searched his brain for some easy way to explain, but nothing he could think of would lessen the impact of the implications. So, he decided just to say it. "They threatened to kill you if I refuse."
Summer's hands stopped combing through his hair entirely, and she pulled away after a moment. Law closed his eyes, already missing her comforting touch, but knew it'd be selfish of him to seek it again. To his surprise, she stood, forcing him to scoot forward enough to allow her room to move.
He watched the blonde out of the corner of his eye wander a few steps away, facing away from him, her arms wrapped around herself. The shock was evident in her tense shoulders and shaky breaths.
"They…they're going to kill me?" She questioned weakly, fear dripping through each word. His fists clenched of their own volition, wishing he wasn't the cause of her distress. "Would they actually do that!?"
"Yes." He answered truthfully, working up the courage to look directly at her. She finally turned to regard him, eyes wide with fear and disbelief. That admiration he so often felt he was undeserving of was gone. There was no trace of love in her eyes at that moment, only the growing hurt of betrayal and terror at the realization that her life was in danger.
"Oh my god…" She whispered, covered her eyes with her hands in panic. Her shoulders began to shake, and Law knew she was beginning to break down. He moved to stand, hurrying over to grip her shoulders gently.
"Summer, listen to me." He said insistently, trying to ignore the way she flinched at his touch. That small detail hurt. "They agreed not to hurt you until my time was up."
"Time for what?" She sobbed, unable to look him in the face through her fear. Her hands rubbed at her eyes in a futile fashion. The tears leaked out regardless.
"To make a decision."
"Am I going to die, Law? Are you going to say no?" The blonde tried pulling away, but he held on, willing her to listen at least until he had finished what he'd intended to say.
"I can't go back to that, Summer. I can't do it. I've spent years making sure I never had to, but I promise I'll protect you." His grip tightened just a bit, and he shook her gently to emphasize his vow. "I promise you. You'll be safe."
"How can you even promise that?" She choked out, shaking her head. "Anything could happen!"
"I need you to trust me. Please…" He whispered, trying to hold her stare but she wouldn't let him.
Having heard enough, Summer ripped herself out of his grip and fled several paces away. Broken sobs escaped her as she tried wiping at the tears of fear that refused to stop. Law didn't try following after her, having said his bit. The decision from here wasn't up to him anymore. She had to decide what she would do next.
It nearly broke him to see, however, the evident pain and terror she was being put through because of him. This was all his fault, and he'd carry that guilt with him no matter what her decision may be.
Several tense minutes of silence, broken only by her sobs and sniffles, stretched between the couple. Law waited patiently, standing there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. Feeling vulnerable and ashamed, his eyes stared at a spot on the floor between them.
"This is…all the truth…right?" Summer eventually asked in fits and bursts. The blonde still couldn't bring herself to turn around and look at him, and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively.
"Yes." Law admitted, watching as she let out a deep, shaky breath.
"Law…" She trailed off, shaking her head slowly. "You're not who I thought you were…"
The bartender's eyes winced with pain and his chest seized, as if she'd physically hit him. If there was any time he'd be close to crying, it was at this moment. And yet still the tears would not fall.
The finality in her tone was heartbreaking, shattering his last sliver of hope that she'd be understanding. Maybe, he'd thought selfishly, she could be convinced to stay with him. Maybe she'd agree to go through all of this just so he wasn't alone. A part of him hated himself for wanting her to do so, putting herself in danger just to appease his own loneliness. How could he live with himself this way?
"Have you killed people?" She whispered, shocking him away from his thoughts to stare at her back. Law hadn't been expecting the question, nor did he wish she'd asked it. But there was no lying now. No turning back.
Still, he couldn't bring himself to actually admit that to her, knowing it would probably be the final nail in the figurative coffin. So, he said nothing, letting the silence speak for itself. His gaze returned to the floor, waiting on what she'd say next.
Her shoulders slumped and shook as she cried silently. Wanting her to understand one thing, Law took a step forward, hesitantly raising his hand to place on her shoulder. "That's not who I am anymore, Summer. It hasn't been for years."
As he closed the distance between them and touched her, she flinched away again, finally turning to face him with a red-flushed and tear-stained face. The fear visible on her face was directed specifically at him this time, instead of what could be happening. "Don't! Just…don't." Came her plea.
Law hurriedly stepped back, putting more space between them. Summer stared at him as if seeing him for the first time in her life, and that was probably the toughest thing of all to see from her. Summer closed her eyes and rubbed at her temples, mentally shutting herself down.
"I…I need some time." Her voice shook, but he didn't blame her for it. "Please go…I need…to think about everything…"
At first Law didn't move, but eventually he nodded without a word and made his way to the door, not even looking back at her as he stopped right in front of it. He swallowed dryly before speaking again. "I have to know by tomorrow. They'll be expecting me to answer them."
Predictably, Summer didn't respond.
"I'll respect whatever decision you make...say the word and you'll never see me again." Law waited a few moments more to give her the chance to speak if she wanted. There was nothing. So, reaching for the knob he opened the door to leave.
Summer stared after it for several minutes even so long after his footsteps down the steps outside had faded away. So much was going through her head, it was too much. Too much to think about. So much she hadn't realized was going on. Dumped on her all at once. Fresh tears began to prick at the corner of her eyes, and she collapsed to the floor, letting them loose as she cried into the carpet.
ns 15.158.7.113da2
