Peter was standing over the railing, still staring at the island as it slowly shrank in the distance.
He walked over to Luke, his face broken and stained with tears. “We have to go back for her.”
Luke nodded his hands on Peter’s shoulders. “I know, Peter, but the sun is setting. It’ll be night soon and we won’t be able to see anything. We have to wait until morning.”
Luke looked into Peter’s green eyes, seeing the pure lunacy in his eyes. Peter was going crazy in the absence of Alice.
“We have to save her. I can’t let her get hurt again,” Peter started pacing, running his hands through his hair, “I-I couldn’t live with myself. I couldn’t protect her in the Dueglesteiner’s camp, I just need to…” Peter trailed off, lost in his own thoughts.
“It’s alright, Peter,” Luke assured him, “We’ll get her back, don’t worry. Alice will be fine. She can handle herself.”
“I just…” Peter said, the tears still fresh in his eyes.
“Peter, we need to rest. You have to rest. Now let’s get you fixed up from your fight with the Dueglesteiners.”
Luke took Peter below deck and began to care for him although Peter insisted he didn’t need it.
But Luke helped him anyway, momentarily remembering his time with Skylar in the witch’s house. Skylar had suffered a head injury, and she was barely conscious as he bandaged her wounds.
Luke took a deep breath as he remembered the memory, sad how he didn’t know where she was. He had held a small hope while being in the Dueglesteiners’ custody that they might know where she is, even if she was captured. If she was captured, Luke could rescue her, with the proof he needed to prove to some of his friends that she was alive.
And then he could be with her again. He wanted to kiss her when he next saw her, hold onto her tight, and never let her go. He would not let her be taken from him again.
So in a way, he knew exactly how Peter felt.
“It’ll be fine, Peter. We’ll get her back.” Luke assured Peter, applying some of the healing salves on his cheek.
Peter gave Luke a suspicious look, trying to figure out what he was thinking. “You want to save her so you can have the feeling of saving Skylar, do you?”
“I-what?” Luke stuttered out, the heat rising on his cheeks. “What are you talking about? I would never-”
“I know how you work, Luke,” Peter smiled, “I knew from the start how much you liked Skylar. You looked up to her, and protected her. When you two worked together, you were practically unstoppable. I’ve never seen any two kids my age work like that.” Peter said in admiration, “I know how you must be feeling right now. It’s exactly how I feel. I know how much you hope for the good news, and so do I. She was my friend, too. She was all our friends. But I just want to warn you, that if she isn’t…I mean…she might not be…”
Luke looked Peter in the eyes, knowing exactly what he was trying to say. Luke knew how much Peter doubted if Skylar was alive, but Luke couldn’t give up that hope yet.
“Peter, we’ve been over this. I know how much you doubt me. I know how you feel about this whole…situation. But please,” Luke said, imploring Peter with his eyes, “I need you to hope. Just a little. Even the smallest bit of hope that she could be alive. And if you can’t…please stop reminding me. I need to hope. At least this time. I can’t lose someone again. I’ve lost my father, and I don’t even know if my family is alive. I can’t lose this hope as well.”
Peter raised an eyebrow at Luke, still suspicious. “Are you sure you’re not becoming obsessed, though? Are you sure you’re not giving into…false hope?”
The anger bubbled up in Luke’s chest, frustrated that he couldn’t make Peter see how much he needed this hope, and how much he needed to believe that she was alive.
“False hope? False hope?” Luke’s voice rose, and he stood to look better at Peter.
“She fell off a cliff, Luke!” Peter shouted, waving his hands to prove his point, “Even if she survived the fall, how could she make it across the Waters of Abdomes without a boat? We have a hard time surviving even with one! How could she possibly be alive?”
“I don’t know!” Luke shouted, covering his face with his hands. He slumped against the wall, sitting on the ground. “I don’t know, Peter. That’s the problem. I’m going crazy from not knowing if she’s alive. I just need to hope that she is. But at this point, I don’t. I’m not even sure if we can survive, let alone her. Everyone is asking me to give up, to move on, but I can’t.”
Luke wiped his eyes, despair flowing through him. “I just don’t know, and that’s why I’m so scared. I want to know where she is, and if she’s even alive, but nobody is giving me answers.” Luke sighed, “Maybe I should give up. It’d keep me from going mad.”
Peter sighed, sitting next to Luke. “We’re not asking you to give up,” he said sadly, “I’m not asking you to give up. I’m just asking for you to prepare for the worst. Don’t make the mistake I did. It will break you.”
Luke sighed. “I just feel like right now, the world is against us. Everyone who comes into our lives either tries to kill us, betrays us, or dies. Why can’t we just have friends who will be there for us and won’t die?”
“I don’t know, Luke,” Peter said sadly, “Right now we have an entire country chasing us and we still have no idea why.”
“Yeah, can’t forget that,” Luke smiled ruefully, “We didn’t want to be a part of this, yet, here we are.”
“But we’ll make it through this,” Peter said hopefully, “I may not believe Skylar’s alive, but I believe that one way or another, we’ll make it through this.”
Luke nodded, although he still was mad that Peter couldn’t see how much he needed Skylar to be alive.
“Let’s get some sleep,” Luke said as he stood, offering his hand to help Peter up. Peter stared at Luke’s hand for a moment, a sad look on his face. Peter turned away though and took Luke’s hand as he stood.
“Yes,” Peter said quietly, “let’s get some sleep.”
…
Luke stood watch once again as The Bowen floated listlessly on the water. They weren’t far from the island, and it looked like the Dueglesteiners who inhabited the island didn’t have a ship nearby.
He’d assumed his position the past few nights they were on the water, although everyone else insisted he should get some sleep.
Adalene had made him sleep a few hours the night before and woke him for the second watch, begging him to wake someone else up before morning came.
But he didn’t. Luke stayed up the rest of the night, ignoring the ache in his eyes and the exhaustion in his body.
Now he was going to stay up all night, ignoring the sleep loss so the others could rest.
As Luke looked over at the crew, he realized that Peter was wide awake. He was staring at Luke, his green eyes tired and bored. Luke stared back, a mutual understanding running through them as they stared at each other.
Peter gave Luke a look, telling him he needed to sleep.
Luke shook his head, and Peter rolled his eyes and rolled over onto his back, staring at the stars.
Even if he refused to be at watch, Luke probably couldn’t sleep. He kept having nightmares, the same dream every night. He’d wake up drenched in sweat, forgetting what the dream was about but remembering the fear he felt.
Luke thought the best way to deal with it was by avoiding the problem completely. Not sleeping. Besides, he figured the others deserved the rest.
It was quiet on The Bowen, and Luke’s mind began to wander. He thought about what Peter and he had talked about below-deck, leaving Luke feeling both hopeful and hopeless, which was a complicated thing to think about. He felt hopeful that they’d finish this quest, but hopeless if Skylar would even be alive.
Truth be told, he wasn’t sure if she was alive. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever see her again. But he held on to hope, that one little hope that she was out there somewhere, waiting for him.
Little did he know it was only a matter of time before he could see her again...
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