Alice awoke the next morning still feeling the tears in her eyes from the nightmare she’d had the night before.
It was the same one she’d had for weeks now, but she wouldn’t dare tell anyone.
Her throat felt sore from her soft screaming, begging constantly to Boromir that she didn’t know where the others were. But of course, the torture would go on throughout the night.
Except for the night before.
Alice vaguely remembered singing and remembered calming down enough to sleep. The rest of the night was filled with sad memories of her family, and she woke to remember everything she’d lost.
The guilt haunted her every night as she slipped into sleep and every morning as she woke with the sun.
It was a horrible feeling, remembering the gruesome scene every time she closed her eyes of the flames rising from the carriage as her family screamed, their bodies slowly burning while Boromir watched with a smile, letting Alice watch long enough until their screams died down, confirming Alice’s fears that they were dead.
Then Boromir dragged Alice away, kicking and screaming as the tears streamed down her face.
Boromir had thrown her to the ground at their camp, making a joke about how Thuron people were too passive to even help themselves. His comrades had laughed, leaving Alice alone and grieving in the dirt, thinking her life was over.
They had brought Helen to the camp later that day, who struggled and snarled like a wild dog, but when she was sat next to Alice immediately started talking, making Alice slowly talk back to her, telling Helen her story. Helen was the first to hear of her pain, and they were great friends ever since. Helen was a good listener, staying quiet and staring at Alice with her big blue eyes.
She would make Alice laugh as well, something she hadn’t thought she’d be able to do.
The Dueglesteiners had hardly fed them that night, giving them only stale bread crusts and dirty water from a nearby puddle Alice had seen them scoop the wooden cups into.
Alice and Helen hungrily ate the bread, but while Helen gulped down the water Alice wouldn’t touch hers.
When Helen had asked why Alice wouldn’t drink hers, Alice answered, “I may be a prisoner, but I am not their slave. I will refuse to stoop so low while they feast on their food, giving us the bare minimum to survive only to humiliate us in the morning. They have no respect for people, dragging them out of their normal lives for seemingly no reason at all. Until they learn respect, I will refuse any water they give me.”
Helen had been impressed, telling Alice that she was used to eating this sort of food, barely surviving each day. Helen had also told Alice how she had almost given up a few times, wanting a quick and painless escape into the afterlife, where she hoped her parents were waiting.
But then Helen told Alice how she learned to hope. How she learned to wake each day with a smile, grateful for what she had and hoping each day it would be better than the last.
Alice took that advice now, knowing that as much as it hurt her to leave her country, she knew that if she stayed any longer she’d never want to leave, constantly haunted by the memories of her family that was no longer there.
So, Alice decided to make the first move and get The Bowen ready.
…
“Um…what are you doing?” Peter asked as Alice tied and untied ropes, preparing The Bowen for its journey to Duegelstein.
“Getting ready,” Alice replied, readying the sails.
“You do know what you’re doing, right?” Peter asked, knowing full well that Alice did not.
“No,” she answered, “But I knew that being here would make you come and help.”
Peter rolled his eyes, a smile coming to his face as he realized Alice’s plans. “Alice Ellison, you are a wonder.”
Peter eventually got The Bowen shipshape, and soon they were ready for another attempt at making it to Dueglestein.
“Look, Alice…” Peter started to say, rubbing the back of his neck, “There’s something we need to-”
He was cut off, however, by Richard and Helen boarding the ship.
“We’re really going?” Helen asked, looking back at the port in Thuron.
“Yes,” Peter said, slightly annoyed at being interrupted, “Finally, we can go to where we need to be.”
Luke was on the other side of the ship, scratching the railing with his fingernail. “Do you think…I-I don’t know, but I just feel like…maybe we could find…”
Alice understood where this conversation was going. Luke was still hoping against hope that Skylar was alive and they could find her.
Alice had lost that hope a long time ago.
She had learned from losing her family that people can be gone in an instant, blown away like leaves in a wind.
“Remember what I said, Luke,” Peter reminded, “don’t give in to false hope.”
“It’s not a false hope,” Luke said hopefully, “I know she has to be out there. Somewhere. I can feel it, deep in my heart. She’s alive. She has to be.”
“Luke,” Alice said, putting a hand on his arm, “I admire your optimism and hope, but what if she’s not? It’s not that we don’t believe you, Luke, it’s just that we want you to be prepared for the worst.”
Luke sighed, “I know, it’s just that…” his voice rose then, suddenly angry. “I can’t lose anyone else, okay? I can’t handle that.” Luke turned away from Alice, walking over to the bow of the ship.
“I feel like I’ve failed,” he said, shaking his head. “I was so close, so close to saving her but I couldn’t. I should’ve reached farther. I should’ve pushed my body farther over the edge. I should’ve-”
Luke lowered his head, his chest shaking with silent sobs.
“I failed to save my father,” he said, his voice breaking, “I can’t fail to save her, too.”
Alice realized how much hope was keeping Luke together, how close he was to breaking. But if Skylar wasn’t alive, Alice didn’t know what it’d do to Luke...
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