That was Friday night. They still had two more days until Danny had to leave early Monday morning. Things didn't get any better.
Danny tried to put his arm around her midsection that night in bed, just as he had almost every night for the past 13+ years of their lives.
"Don't. Touch. Me." Elise's words were as pointed as daggers.
"Please, Elise. You can't stay mad at me forever."
She couldn't believe his audacity.
"Fuck you," she jumped up out of bed and stormed out of the room.
"Where are you going?" she heard him call after her. She was already at the top of the stairs and didn't answer him as she made her way downstairs to sleep on the couch.
The kids, namely Parker, warmed up to him more the next day, which, as mad at him as she still was, she was grateful for. Who knew how long it would be before they saw him again. Elise couldn't help but be thankful that the kids were at least taking advantage of their short remaining time together. She was getting to the point that she wanted to forgive him, but she just couldn't. Sometimes she even hated how stubborn she could be.
"Are you going to sleep on the couch again tonight?" Danny looked at her pitifully as they stood across the bedroom from each other that night.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I don't want the kids seeing me down there, especially Parker," she paused. "You should consider yourself lucky he is even talking to you, you know?" Elise crossed her arms over her chest.
"I know," Danny's voice came out choked.
"I think if anybody sleeps on the couch it should be you," she glared at him, trying to keep up her hard exterior before his weepiness broke her down.
"Please, Elise," he begged. "Just come to bed. I won't touch you, just please. I can't sleep without you," he made no attempt to hide his tears. He looked exhausted. Had he really not slept last night?
"And why should I do you any favors? You're certainly not doing us any," Elise turned to leave the bedroom.
"Elise, please," he sobbed. "Don't be like this."
She didn't dare turn around. Just hearing him cry was bad enough. She knew if she turned around and saw him her whole resolve would break.
Elise wanted to die Sunday night when Danny tucked the kids in bed, the last time he would be doing so for a long time. She couldn't keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks, but she refused to break down into sobs as Danny had the night before. It was no easy feat seeing their teary-eyed exchanges, especially Stephen. She mistakenly thought Kate would be the easiest to overhear, but it was arguably the worst. Elise stood at the doorway, listening as he spoke to their daughter, laying her in bed for the night.
"I know you don't understand what I'm saying, but daddy has to go away for awhile."
No, you don't, Elise thought again bitterly.
"This is the last time I'll see you for awhile," his voice became constricted. "But I'll be back again soon, ok? Mommy will take good care of you and give you lots of hugs, ok? So don't miss me too much. Be sure to give mommy lots of hugs too, ok? She's going to need them."
Elise couldn't stand listening any more. She ran to their bathroom in the next room and locked the door, sinking to the floor and burying her face in her hands, her sadness finally boiling to the surface. She knew Danny would be in any minute, but she couldn't stop.
"Elise?" he knocked lightly on the door. She couldn't breath and didn't know what to say anyways. There was too much. Where did she even begin?
"Can I come in? Please?" he jiggled the handle to no avail.
Without even thinking about it, she reached up behind her and unlocked the door, crawling on her hands and knees just far enough away that he could squeeze in.
"Baby," Danny knelt down on the floor next to her, immediately wrapping his arms around her. Elise didn't fight him as she continued bawling with Danny joining her.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Elise," he rocked her on the floor. She allowed herself to hold onto his arms and lean her head against his chest. She wished she had given in sooner. It felt good to let go, even if it was momentary.
"I'm still mad at you," she couldn't help clarifying.
"I know," he whispered, some of his own hot tears falling on her cheek.
They sat for a long time that way on their bathroom floor, just holding each other and crying.
"I'll sleep with you tonight," Elise spoke at last, her tears finally slowing.
"Thank you," Danny squeezed her tighter, kissing the side of her head.
Things almost seemed normal again that night, curled up in bed with Danny as she should be. All was right with the world. But then the morning came.
His alarm sounded at 5am sharp. He needed to leave the house by 6am. Some of Elise's anger had returned, but she still forced herself out of bed to make coffee as Danny showered.
She sat at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee, thoughts running all over the place waiting for Danny to join her.
"Morning," he greeted her solemnly.
"Morning," she replied quietly. Evidently he was not in the best mood either. He fixed his cup of coffee and filled his thermos before sitting at the table with her.
Elise was surprised when Danny sat silently for a long time.
"You're quiet," she finally commented, not being able to stand the silence any longer.
"I don't know what else to say. And I don't want to fight. And I'm tired of crying," he rubbed his hands up and down his face tiredly.
"Ok," Elise said meekly.
Danny sighed and took her hands.
"You know how much I love you, right?" he looked at her seriously.
"I know," she nodded.
"I don't want to leave you guys either, but I can't back out now. You know that," he squeezed her hands.
"I know. I just wish you would have listened to me before."
"I know. I know," he said regretfully.
"Danny, I can't lose you," Elise finally admitted her biggest fear.
"Sweetheart, I probably won't be anywhere close to the action. Seriously. I'm not just saying that."
Elise just nodded, looking down at their hands.
"Come here," he stood up without letting go of her hands. She followed his lead and came over to him. Danny wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hers around his waist inside of his unbuttoned camo jacket. They stood there in silence as long as they could and that was enough.
"I've gotta go," Danny said remorsefully looking up at the clock on the wall behind her. "Will you promise me something?"
"What's that?"
"That you won't still be mad at me when I come home?"
"I'll see what I can do," she smiled in spite of herself.
He gave her one long, last kiss. And just like that, he was gone.
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