Elise woke in an unfamiliar room. The inside of her mouth was like sandpaper, the kind of dryness you only get when you've been sleeping with your mouth open for an extended time. The room was dim; it felt like night.
"Danny?" she called out meekly. Her head felt stuffy, groggy, like that of an induced sleep. She suddenly had a sense of dejavu, which added to her confusion.
A hospital bed, she finally noticed as she surveyed the room more. Panic welled up inside of her.
"Danny?!" Elise heard the urgency in her voice. Her brain slowly began putting the pieces together. He was gone. Shot down in China with most of the rest of his unit. Dead for almost a year. Where were her kids? How had she ended up in the hospital? She hadn't gone through with the attempt with the razor, had she?
"I'm here, baby," Elise heard his voice call softly from her right. A flood of emotions washed over her as she saw a shadow rise a few feet away from her bed, coming towards her.
"Danny?" she felt even more disoriented as his face came into view over hers. "How?" Elise trailed off, tears flooding her eyes like lava flowing from a volcano.
"It's ok. You're ok," he spoke softly, kissing her on the forehead tenderly.
"Oh God, Danny!" she grabbed him around the shoulders, pulling him to her. Elise buried her face in the crook of his neck, sobbing.
"Sshh," he soothed, stroking her hair. "You're alright. You're ok," emotion seemed to taint his own voice. She shook her head, still feeling muddled, but the curtain seemed to be slowly drawing back.
"You were dead," she managed, muffled into his neck. Elise refused to let him go, terrified she was just dreaming or imagining him again.
"No, ssshh. I'm right here. It was just a bad dream." Her mind reeled. Bad dream?
"Where am I? Why am I here?" she was trying desperately to make sense of everything.
"You, don't remember?" Danny spoke with trepidation. Elise shook her head again without moving.
"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked cautiously.
"I don't know, Danny," Elise turned her head to the side just enough that he could understand her. "I'm so confused. The last thing I remember is being in bed with you and Kate, but it wasn't really you. You were a ghost or a trick of my imagination. Something. I don't know. I had drank too much and thought about slitting my wrists until the baby woke up," she started getting worked up again just thinking about it.
She heard him sniffle. He took a deep breath before continuing. She never thought she would be so indescribably happy to feel his chest rise and fall against her own.
"God, don't talk like that," Danny took her hand. "Sweetheart, you fell in the river today. You hit your head on a boulder. It knocked you out," she couldn't see his face, but his voice sounded strained.
"You almost drowned, Elise," he whispered. "I had to give you CPR." Danny's shoulders shook against her own now. The realization of everything brought her a new wave of tears.
"So we're...on our honeymoon?" she asked.
"Yes," he nodded his head slightly.
"I hit my hip when I fell in," Elise stated as if it had really happened. In her mind, it had.
"I couldn't kick right, but my backpack got stuck on a limb sticking out in the river. You came and saved me." Danny's body racked against hers harder, but she continued.
"I had to have a pin put in my hip. Gave me trouble for nearly a year. I got," Elise swallowed hard, the realization of everything she said being unreal finally started sinking in. "I got pregnant right after my hip healed," hot tears burned a trail down her cheeks. "We had a little boy." Silence fell over them, the only sounds their quiet crying.
"That sounds wonderful," Danny finally managed. "But it was just a dream," he started stroking her hair again.
"It was and it wasn't. I told you. You were dead, Danny," Elise could barely speak the words again.
"No. I'm here," he choked. "Wait a minute," he finally pulled himself away from her, reaching up to turn one of the lights on behind her bed.
Shadows still angled across his face, but it was the gray in his beard...or lack thereof. He was telling the truth...Not that he had any reason not to. The full force of the true reality set in like a ton of bricks.
"Oh, Danny," she held out her arms to him.
"It really is you, isn't it?" Elise whispered into his ear as he sat back down next to her, hugging her tight. He nodded in response.
"I thought I was going to lose you today, but it sounds like you had a rough time while you were asleep too," he looked her in the eyes. His own were as bloodshot as hers felt.
"You have no idea," Elise whispered. "It was so real, Danny." Suddenly, another memory from not so long ago popped into her head. Something she had tried hard to repress and had, until now.
"Do you remember when we first met? And I had those bad dreams about you?"
"Yah, why?" he held her at arm's length, waiting for her to continue.
"I made myself forget them. But they just came back to me. You're going to think I'm crazy, but you have to promise me something, Danny," her throat felt thick as a new wave of emotion began rising in her.
"What is it, sweetheart?" his brow furrowed.
"You have to get out of the Guard. Promise me, Danny."
"Elise, I know it seemed real, but it was just a..."
"Promise me!" she cut him off, voice ragged from crying so much. "Please," she begged, "Promise me you'll get out, or I can't be with you," the words pained her to say. She knew Danny probably thought she was crazy or over-reacting or both, but she meant it.
"I know I sound nuts, but I can't lose you again. I've already lost you three times before," Elise fought hard to regain her composure, trying to at least look sane.
"Ok, ok," Danny pulled her to him again. "I promise," he spoke muffled into the side of her head.
"I'd do anything for you. You know that, right?"
She did now. Elise couldn't help thinking back to the part of her "dream" when Danny had told her he was being deployed. How mad and hurt she felt that he wouldn't budge in leaving the National Guard, though she had begged him for months. How stubborn he had been. Her own grudge-holding tendencies and the resentment and abandonment she felt when he left the following week.
She acknowledged that it was not real, truly just a bad dream induced by a nasty head injury, but still. She couldn't help but feel like she was getting a second chance with him. That's why she had to make him stay this time and hoped Danny kept his promise. She would do anything not to lose him again, even if it had all been in her head.
It certainly felt real enough and didn't that matter? Elise felt like she was caught in some confused state, even though she knew the truth now. What if she was just in another dream? Paranoid ramblings of a girl with a head injury, she told herself. It reminded her of that Leonardo DiCaprio movie she loved, Inception. Maybe she had watched it a few too many times.
"Then will you lay with me?" she scooted over as far as she could, making a spot for him on the narrow hospital bed.
"Of course," Danny laid down on his side next to her, wrapping his arm around her. Elise felt an immense sense of comfort, safety, but still the tears started again.
"You know the nurse is probably going to come in soon once they look at your monitors and realize you're awake?" he asked with a slightly amused expression.
"I don't care," she tried to make her voice sound normal, but failed miserably.
"Hey, what's wrong now?" he stroked the hair out of her face.
"Just trying to wrap my head around everything still." She knew then, no matter how much she tried explaining it, Danny would never quite understand what the dream had felt like for her, but she tried anyways. "I know, I know, it wasn't real, but it still feels like I just lived the past ten plus years of my life and that I magically time travelled back to now. And while I'm immensely happy to have you and know you're alive, I lost a lot too. I know how crazy this all sounds, I do."
Danny considered this for a minute as he continued stroking her hair as he always did when she was upset.
"The little boy?" he ventured.
Elise shook her head, looking away from him. They may be married now, but she still felt silly talking about kids.
It was ridiculous, really, that it still made her so uncomfortable, even now. It wasn't as if they hadn't talked about it before. That was kind of an important thing to know about one another going into a marriage.
"What is it then, baby?" his eyes held the same softness as his voice. "I'm trying to understand."
"I know you are," his kind words made the tears come faster. "It's not just...him. We had three kids, Danny. That kind of thing is hard to let go when you thought they were real." It made her heart ache just thinking about it.
"Oh, sweetheart," he hugged her tighter and let her emotions flow out of her for a bit longer before speaking again.
"I'll be happy to make a baby with you whenever you want," he whispered lovingly in her ear. A shiver coursed down her spine. Elise simply nodded her head against his chest, not looking up.
"Seriously. Whenever you want," he reached up and squeezed her shoulders quickly, trying to get her to look up.
"Ok," she spoke demurely, forcing a smile.
"I meant what I said earlier. I'd do anything for you, Elise. You're my wife now. Happy wife, happy life," he joked, trying to get her to lighten up. She couldn't help but giggle. It was one of the many things she loved about him. Danny could always make her laugh.
"I love you, Daniel Mortenson."
"And I love you, Mrs.Mortenson."
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