Later that evening, after all of the doctors and nurses had come and gone, Danny re-told the story of how she had ended up in the hospital, from her insisting. He sighed heavily when she asked.
"Do I have to?" a slight whine in his voice.
"Please?" she insisted. Elise wanted to get grounded back in reality as quickly as possible. Plus she hoped that it would jog her memory. She remembered most of the trail, but was her memory from the real world or the dream world she had fabricated?
"Alright, but I might get...upset."
"I know. It's ok," she rubbed his arm. "I'm not trying to torture you. I just want to remember what's real and what isn't." Danny nodded his head, accepting this.
"We were almost back to the car. There was only about half a mile or so. We came across that creek, remember?"
Elise stared at him blankly.
"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I only remember the version I told you earlier."
"Right. Ok. Well, there wasn't any good way to get over it except that big log spanning over it. It sounds like some part of your brain at least remembers that accurately."
Elise nodded in agreement. Danny sighed again.
"You didn't want to go over it. You were scared. So I helped you across, then," he paused, clearly not wanting to think about it again, "you were almost there and you lost your balance." Danny closed his eyes momentarily. "You slipped from my hand so fast, Elise," he looked up at her. "The extra weight of the pack, I guess." He took a second before continuing, closing his eyes again, shaking his head.
"The way you screamed out my name, it was awful. I have never felt so helpless in my life. This probably sounds terrible, but I'm glad I couldn't hear your head hitting the boulder over the rushing of the water. I don't think I could have dealt with that, replaying that sound over and over in my head. It was bad enough seeing it."
"Danny, stop," she felt tears welling behind her eyes. He wasn't one to get upset easily and seeing him now was killing her.
"I'm sorry I asked. Please don't say any more," Elise pleaded.
"No," he shook his head. "It's alright," he insisted, trying to regain his composure.
"Maybe it'll be good for me. To tell you."
"I hate seeing you so upset, though."
Danny shrugged.
"It is what it is. I'm not made of steel, you know," he forced a sideways smile.
"I never expected you to be," Elise said plainly. "Just please, don't go on for my sake." Danny just nodded.
"The next part is kind of a blur. I remember running down to you, watching you get swept down the creek, but i don't remember how my backpack got off. You got caught on another big boulder about 30 yards from where you fell in at. The way you got caught was making the rapids flow over your face. Your face wasn't completely submerged, but the water was flowing over it enough..." he trailed off.
"I jumped in the water and pulled you out. You felt so heavy, with your pack still on and being water-logged. I made sure I got your face out of the water first. I had to kind of drag you out. You weren't breathing, so I had to pull you up further where it wasn't so rocky. I gave you CPR for a couple of minutes, I would guess, before you started breathing again. It felt like a lifetime."
Elise lost the battle to her tears as he continued.
"You coughed up a good amount of water when you came to. I ran back to my pack and got my extra jacket and emergency blanket. You were already shivering by the time I got back," he ran his hands over his face.
"I kept yelling for help, hoping someone would be nearby, being so close to the trailhead, while I got you covered up. I was about to get my phone out and call for help when a couple about my age showed up and called for me. I held you on my lap, trying to keep you warm until the rescue team got there. You kept going in and out of consciousness. It felt like it took forever to get you out of there. I really thought I was going to lose you there for awhile, when you kept passing out," Danny came and sat next to her on the bed.
"Don't cry," he swiped a tear away from her cheek. "I'm just glad you're ok now."
Elise swallowed a lump in her throat.
"I'm sorry. I feel like a heel. I was so caught up in my own craziness, I didn't even think about what you had been through," she shook her head. "I'm so sorry," Elise whispered.
"No, I'm sorry I talked you into walking over that log," Danny's eyes glistened with tears.
"How about we call it even?" she smiled tiredly.
"Elise. Elise! Wake up!" she felt hands shaking her shoulders firmly. Someone was screaming.
"Elise. You're having a bad dream again."
The screaming finally stopped and she realized it was coming from her. Her cheeks were wet with tears, but no new ones fell. She was used to the drill by now.
"Sorry," she grumbled, rolling on her side away from him. Elise was as sick of the nightmares as Danny probably was.
"Come back here," he said playfully, sidling up against her back and wrapping an arm as far around her as he could. It wasn't very far these days. She was due with their son in less than 2 weeks.
The nightmares had returned a couple of months after she got pregnant. Instead of getting better, they had increased in frequency the further along she got. Elise finally had enough and started seeing a therapist about them, but it hadn't done a damn bit of good. It was nice to be able to talk about them with someone, but that was about it. It didn't make her feel any less crazy. Waking up once, sometimes twice a week, in a pool of her own sweat and screaming Danny awake didn't make them any less irritating.
She hardly ever told Danny about the dreams, though. He would ask occasionally, but she never offered many details. He knew they were mostly about him, or their non-existent children, or both dying. That was all he needed to know as far as she was concerned.
Elise placed a hand on top of his, resting on her bulging belly.
"It's ok," Danny spoke into her hair, sleep filling his voice.
"No, it's not," she replied grouchily. She was angry and tired, not a good combination. So, so very tired. The baby wasn't even here yet and she was already exhausted.
"I'm so tired," she cried softly, feeling defeated.
"I know you are," he rubbed her stomach. "It'll get better. We'll figure something out."
It did get better, finally, after she gave birth to Parker. For whatever reason, the nightmares that plagued her for months disappeared as quickly as they re-appeared, if not more so, after their son was born. Elise was scared to death they would start again when she got pregnant with their second son and daughter, but they never did.
Many things were different in Elise and Danny's lives from the awful, lucid dream she had during their honeymoon fiasco. One good thing that had come out of that whole trip had been their love for Canada. In fact, they had taken several more backcountry trips there before finally deciding to just move there. Elise had always dreamed of moving away from the Midwest and Danny didn't seem to care where they ended up so long as they were together.
Alberta suited their lifestyle to a tee. The eastern edge of the Canadian Rockies was the perfect playground to them with its great natural areas and parks, extensive trail system, and beautiful alpine lakes. They felt like they were truly at home.
The area lent itself to allowing Danny to follow his dreams too. (With a little help from the money Elise was making from her surprisingly lucrative job as a travel writer too.) From May through September, he lead other, somewhat more wary, outdoor enthusiasts on kayaking and backcountry camping adventures in the area. Not that he was in it solely for the money, but he found he was able to charge way more for these trips than he ever dreamed.
They lived comfortably, though they weren't considered rich by most people's standards.
Best of all was that each of them could bring the entire family along for work. That was one strange thing from Elise's concussion nightmare that actually did come true. They had ended up having two boys and a girl, in that order. Danny convinced her to have their daughter a lot sooner in real life, which she was thankful for. It had been hard in her dream having a 7 and 9 year-old and starting all over with a baby again. Three kids were hard, period, but 6, 4, and 1 1/2 seemed much more tolerable, in a way.
It was a pleasant early June day. The temperature hovered in the lower 70's throughout the afternoon: Perfect hiking weather. Danny was out at one of her favorite spots in the Kananaskis Country Wilderness for work. It was only a 12-minute drive from their house. She couldn't resist. Elise packed the kids and their gear in the SUV and headed out.
"We're coming to stalk you. :) Where you at?" she texted.
They had found a surprisingly reliable cell phone provider up there. They could sometimes be 13-miles in on a trail out in the middle of nowhere and still get a signal.
"Getting ready to set up camp at Bear Lake. Got a couple of gawkers. Lol"
"Daniel Stephen Mortenson! How many times have I told you not to call them that?!" she texted back.
"Gawkers" was Danny's term for the clients he got who ended up only hiking for half of the distance they had planned because they got so sidetracked by the beauty of the wilderness. This was all fine and dandy except for the areas where you had to obtain permits ahead of time for campsites. Kananaskis was one such area.
"Lol Sorry. But they've only done like 5 miles of the 8 they wanted to do. At this rate it's going to get dark as we're still setting up camp."
"It'll be ok. We'll meet you out there. I'll help...Better yet, I'll swap your pack for the baby and run ahead. :P She's been a grouchy today."
"Lol I love you. See you when you get here."
Elise found Danny with a middle-aged couple, probably in their late 40's, early 50's, his clients for the weekend, when she and the kids arrived at the camp. Maybe it was just her, but it was so hard to tell people's ages nowadays. The couple looked to be in top physical condition, but the graying hair and crow's feet around their eyes were telling.
It suddenly dawned on her that her own husband could be considered middle-aged now. He would be 42 in a few months. His beard was more gray than black now and it was slowly working into the hair on his head, just like he had predicted. He was as handsome as ever, if not more so than when they had met.
"Hey, guys," Danny called, busy setting up one of the tents.
"Daddy!" the boys called back and ran over to him, almost toppling him over. It put a smile on Elise's face, how much their boys loved Danny. Although the baby was definitely a daddy's girl too, as she was currently bouncing wildly on Elise's back in her carrier, wanting to greet her daddy as well. A few buckle snaps and, setting Katie down carefully, off she ran to join her older brothers in the assault.
He was used to it, though he was never gone long on trips, but as usual, Danny couldn't help laughing as he gave them all hugs. He picked Katie up and walked over to the middle-aged couple, Parker and Stephen trailing behind.
"This is my family," he introduced them to the couple. "This is Parker and Stephen," he tapped each of them on the head. "This little lady is Katie," he tickled her, "and this is my beautiful wife, Elise."
"Hello," the couple greeted them politely.
"This is John and Martha Applegate. They're from the upper peninsula in Michigan."
"It's nice to meet you," Elise shook their hands. "How are you enjoying your trip so far? Is my husband behaving himself?" she joked.
"Oh, yes. He's been great," the man, John, answered.
"It's just beautiful up here," Martha added.
"I'm sure Danny probably already told you, but we're expats ourselves. We were both born and raised in Indiana until we moved here."
"Not too far away from us then, in the grand scheme of things," John smiled.
"So what brings you guys up here?" Elise asked as Danny took a break and skipped stones with the kids on the edge of the lake.
"Oh, we've been talking about taking a trip like this for awhile. We just didn't know where to begin. We knew we wanted to visit around Banff somewhere. That's how we came across your husband's website." Martha answered.
"He sure does make everything easy," John chimed in.
"He does his best," Elise smiled, thinking about all of the work he had put into starting his business. It had taken a few years for it to really take off, but now that even the locals knew he was legit, business was booming.
"Well I'm glad you guys are having a good time," she smiled. "Danny," she called over to him. "Want me to give you a hand setting up?"
"Sure! Be right there!" The boys continued playing next to the lake.
"Be careful, boys!" Elise called to them. Parker was a fairly strong swimmer, but, although the lake was shallow along the shore, she couldn't help but worry some about Stephen. He was just starting to get the hang of it, but couldn't really tread water yet.
Danny and Elise went about setting up tents, getting gear inside of them, etc, keeping an eye on Katie the whole time. She was content playing nearby for awhile, but started wandering off towards the lake where her brothers were.
"Guess she's not going to let me help you much," Elise stood to retrieve her, not looking forward to the fit she knew she would throw.
"It's ok," Martha dumped an harmful of sticks next to the fire pit. "I'll tell John to keep an eye on her. We have five grandkids of our own." The middle-aged woman hollered over to her husband, who had already joined the boys lakeside.
"So you camp too?" Martha asked Elise, who watched Katie cautiously for a moment before returning her attention back to arranging Martha's sticks perfectly in the fire pit.
"Oh yah. Kind of second-nature in this family," she laughed. "Not that I didn't enjoy camping before I met Danny," she smiled at him.
"So what do you do for a living, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Not at all," Elise snapped several thick sticks in half with ease. "I'm a travel writer. We camp at a lot of places we go, which is why I probably seem like I'm on auto-pilot right now," she poked fun at herself. It really had become second-nature. They'd been doing it for years.
"My goodness. You must be very good at your job. I don't know how anyone could afford to live up here," as soon as the words were out of her mouth, the woman covered it in embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry. That came out wrong. I didn't mean an-..."
"It's alright," Danny interrupted her. "I tell everyone she's my 'sugar mama'," he grinned broadly at Elise.
"Danny," she rolled her eyes.
"You know it's true. And she is good at her job. Don't let her modesty fool you," he winked in their general direction.
Martha shook her head.
"I'm sorry. It's just everything up here is so expensive and having three kids..." she started apologizing again.
"It's fine," Elise held up a hand and smiled. "We've heard it all. A lot of people think we're crazy, and they're probably right." She turned her attention to the kids. "Boys, why don't you and Mr.Applegate gather some more sticks before we go?"
"Ok!" Stephen grabbed the man's hand and Parker slowly walked with Katie hand-in-hand. They were always so eager to help on camping trips. It brought another smile to Elise's lips.
"They're great kids," Martha commented, trying to change the subject.
"Thank you. They really are."
"I think I'll go give them a hand," she smiled at Elise and wandered off to join the rest of the group. She was probably still embarrassed about her comments coming out wrong. Neither Elise or Danny cared, though. They had gotten all kinds of sideways glances and even some nasty comments over the years.
"What about stability for your kids?"
"Aren't there bears out here? Aren't you worried about your kids getting attacked?"
"How can you guys afford to live up here?", which was similar to what Martha had just said. They got that one a lot, insinuating neither of their odd jobs, even combined, could support a family of their size. They just let it roll off. She, Danny, and the kids lived in their own little world. It was no one else's business, anyways.
"You know I don't mind you making more money than me, right?" Danny asked quietly, squatting down next to her to help build the fire. It always seemed to take the longest.
"I know," she stopped, looking at him. She always could get lost in the deep brown of his eyes.
"And you know I don't care what anyone thinks, right?" she asked. Danny just smirked.
"What?" she giggled softly.
"You've come a long way from when we first met, you know?"
"Yes. I feel like going all me all the time," she smiled back at him. Danny leaned forward on his haunches and stole a kiss.
"I love you, Elise. More each day."
"I love you too, forever and always."
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