The doorbell rang. It was only 9:50 in the morning. Elise wasn't expecting Lorraine until 10:30. Besides, she never used the doorbell. Elise quickly dried her hands off, in the middle of washing breakfast dishes, and walked quickly through the living room.
"You stay put, missy," she quickly rubbed Kate's head in passing. It was a Monday. The boys were at school. Danny had only been gone for two weeks to the day.
Elise looked through the peephole and her heart stopped. She reluctantly unlocked the door and greeted the trio of gentlemen standing on her porch.
"Hello. Can I help you?" The bile in her stomach was rising.
"Are you Mrs.Elise Mortenson? Wife of Daniel Stephen Mortenson?" one of the suits asked. He looked to be the one "in charge", a tall, older gentleman with close cropped gray hair and a military service uniform covered in various honors. He reminded her of Harold, Danny's father. Before he got sick, anyways.
"Yes," she drew out slowly. She had a bad feeling.
"I'm Sgt.McAfee. This is Private Ramos and Father Kirklin. May we come in?"
"Am I allowed to say 'no'?" Elise had watched enough movies that she already knew what was happening, but part of her brain was still fighting it, refusing to believe.
"Please, Mrs.Mortenson," Sgt.McAfee asked again, friendly enough. There was a surprising gentleness to his voice. Elise begrudgingly stepped aside and let the men in.
"And who do we have here?" Father Kirklin asked as they stepped inside.
"This is Kate," Elise answered as she picked her daughter up. Something compelled her to. Some notion it would soften the blow somehow that she knew in her gut she was about to receive. She sat on the couch before they even had a chance to ask, but she did not invite them to do the same. Elise desperately wanted them gone, never in her house to begin with.
"Mrs.Mortenson, I'm afraid we have some bad news," the sergeant started.
"You don't say," Elise scoffed. "Why else would you be here?" Her cheeks felt hot, pressure was already building behind her eyes.
"Please, Mrs.Mortenson. Your husband's squad was ambushed last night. By a local militia from a village they, and other squads, had been trying to make alliances with, friends, if you will. We're not sure if it was a small group of rebels or if the townspeople were just trying to fool them all along, but we're working on finding out," he paused, letting this information sink in.
"As I mentioned, Daniel's squad was ambushed in the night. Being caught off guard like that...There were only a few survivors and the ones who did make it are in bad shape."
For a brief second, Elise held onto the hope that Danny might be one of the few who remained alive after the attack.
"With a heavy heart I regret to inform you that Daniel did not survive," Sgt.McAfee paused again, waiting for her reaction.
"His name is Danny," Elise corrected through gritted teeth. "Stop all this cloak and dagger shit with his full name," it felt like magma was boiling up inside of her and it wasn't just the foul bile that still seemed to be working it's way up slowly either.
"And how can you be sitting here telling me he's dead? He just left two weeks ago. Two weeks! He said he probably wouldn't even he close to the action. His words, not mine. I mean, he's in the National Guard, for God's sake! He shouldn't have even been over there!" Her face was on fire now.
"Ma'am, in all due respect, times are different now. This war with China...Things are changing, all the time. I can assure you, regardless of branch, your husband's death..."
"Stop," Elise held a held up, interrupting the sergeant. "Don't give me that rote, 'your husband died valiantly fighting for his country' bullshit. No!" she pointed. She felt as if she were scolding a dog who had pissed all over the floor.
"He died in the middle of the night, in a foreign land, assumingly unarmed, by people he thought were his friends!" Elise shook her head, pushing her thumb and forefinger into the corners of her eyes.
"Get out," she spoke surprisingly calmly, pointing at the door.
"Mrs.Mortenson, there's still the matter of the body to..."
"Get out!" she screamed, scaring Kate and making her cry in the process. Elise hugged her close, rocking her, and spoke soothingly next to her ear.
"Ssshh. It's ok. I'm sorry. It's ok. Mommy didn't mean to scare you. I'm not mad at you, sweetie," her tears fell on her daughter's dark blonde hair. She wondered why the men made no move to leave the way they had came. She had made herself more than clear. Elise notices the sergeant and private whispering, McAfee nodding in agreement to whatever was being said.
"Ma'am," Ramos spoke. "We'll gladly wait outside, but we aren't supposed to leave until a friend or family member comes to stay with you for awhile."
They were still trying to level with her, taking a different approach by letting the private speak instead.
"Fine, fine," she waved a hand. Then it occurred to her.
"Have you contacted Danny's mother yet? Lorraine?"
"No, ma'am," Ramos spoke again. "Standard procedure. We notify spouses first."
He was losing points with her again with his cold detachment.
"Well, great!" Elise said facetiously. "Y'all can kill two birds with one stone because she'll be here any time! Should I call her and ask her to come over sooner? So you can deliver the bad news to her and be on your merry way? She's the only one I've got around here anyway, so how convenient! Oh. Aside from our two boys who are at school right now," she scowled at Ramos and McAfee. She couldn't bring herself to stare down Father Kirklin. She may not be religious, but literally all of her ancestors would probably roll over in their graves if she brought this poor, innocent bystander under her wrath.
"We'll wait outside, ma'am," Ramos said as they all finally let themselves out her front door.
Elise knew she should call Lorraine, warn her of the unexpected onslaught that awaited her. Her mother in-law would expect the worse no matter what she told her over the phone, not about to lie to the woman who had given birth to her beloved husband. Instead she found herself still rocking Kate, lost in a daze, trying her damnedest to get her shit under control again. She felt surprisingly numb.
A knock came at the door again, jarring her away from her thoughts. How long had she been sitting there in a stupor? Kate had gone back to playing with her toys on the floor. Elise hadn't even noticed. She looked at her phone. 10:25am.
"Elise?" Lorraine poked her head in the door before entering.
"Is this what I think it is?" she asked, eyes already watery, her normally jovial features clouded with worry.
Elise simply nodded.
"Oh, Elise," her mother in-law hurried over to her, hugging her tight. She returned the embrace, but still felt nothing. That's what scared her the most.
"Mrs.Moetenson, Lorraine," the suits had followed her in. "We regret to inform you that your son, Daniel, was killed..."
"Look," Elise held her hand up again. "I understand that you're just doing your job, but this is still my house. Spare me all the details again," she went to the front door and slammed it behind her once she was outside. She dug around in her jacket pocket and found it: The pack of cigarettes she had bought the week Danny had left. She hadn't smoked in years, but by God, she needed something. The worst part was that she didn't even feel all that ashamed.Elise lit one up and exhaled deeply.
Her mind wandered, waiting for the evil bastard to finally leave for good. She thought of the most recent trip they had taken to Yosemite. Danny telling scary stories to the boys around the campfire. She felt a smile curling on her lips. They had gone on many trips over the years, but that one had been the trip of a lifetime. Elise was glad she had let Danny talk her into going when they did instead of waiting till the kids were older. They had a great time. Hell, it had been 4 months since they went and the boys, especially Stephen, still brought up random memories from it.
She remembered another time, when the boys were just little, maybe 4 and 6, when they had camped near the Canadian Rockies in Alberta. The look on the boys' faces seeing the mountains, how much fun they had laying across the mirror-like lakes, how alive Danny had seemed...
Alive. That one little word brought her back to reality. Something her husband would never be, ever again. It taunted her. She fought back another wave of tears, realizing she had left her young daughter inside the house, seemingly unattended. Elise secretly hoped that she had crawled up into Lorraine's lap, making "Meme" feel better, as the bad news was delivered to her.
Shit. She suddenly felt like a heel for leaving her mother in-law alone in there, as she had been, to learn of Danny's death. Selfish, she thought as she swung the door open, almost hitting Father Kirklin in the nose.
"I'm sorry," she apologized.
"It's ok, dear. Listen," he let the other two file out first. "I don't know what your religious views are and quite frankly, they don't matter. But if you ever feel like talking, we have a wonderful support group at the church for those who have lost someone close to them," he handed her a card. "I'm happy to talk any time too," he smiled at her, a sadness in his eyes, as he patted her hand upon leaving too.
Elise breathed a sigh of relief she hadn't realized she had been holding in as she leaned against the door, not about to let anyone back in.
"What a nightmare, huh?" was all she could think to say, eyes shut.
"Elise..." her mother in-law's voice came to her softly.
She held up her hand, but didn't open her eyes.
"I'm sorry I made you go through that alone. It was selfish of me. I wasn't thinking."
"Elise..."
She pushed her hand forward for emphasis.
"I'm sorry I left Kate in here with you too. Again, selfish."
"Elise," she finally let Lorraine talk. "I don't expect you to be thinking straight right now. I barely am. But would you shut up and come sit down?"
Elise finally opened her eyes to see Lorraine patting the couch next to her and found that Kate had crawled up into her lap after all.
She sighed, feeling resigned and very, very tired all of a sudden.
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