I broke up with Lolly at the Kwun Tong Promenade. After saying what needed to be said, she turned around and left, leaving me sitting on the spinning chair in the sensory garden, watching her become my "ex-girlfriend" as she walked away with resolution.
Not a hint of hesitation in her stride.
As soon as she was completely out of my sight, my first impulse was to pick up my phone and send a text message to Kevin and Penny.
"I'm at the Kwun Tong Promenade. Just broke up with Lolly. Can you come and be with me?"
Then I took out my headphones from my backpack and absentmindedly put them on. Hitting the random play button on the app, the melodies of the pop songs and their lyrics flooded my empty mind, as I waited silently on.
[If breaking up doesn't hurt, I'm afraid you'll wait for me forever. If you hate me, resent me, discriminate against me from today onwards ... ]
An hour later, when Chan Siu Chun's "Breaking Up Without Regret" was halfway through, Kevin and Penny came to me, sweating profusely.
Penny took off my headphones, and Kevin handed me a can of beer.
"Let's have a drink first!"
At this point, I could no longer restrain myself. I pressed my palm against my face, tears streaming down my cheeks, and wept bitterly. Slowly, the low sobbing crescendoed into a resounding howl that reverberated through the heavens and the earth.
Yes, I was crying like a child in front of two big men, in full view of everyone in the park.
Back in the days when I was a youthful soul, I wore my emotions on my sleeve with easy laughter and tears. Alas, with the passage of time came maturity, and I had learned the art of concealing my true sentiments.
At work, I need to focus on the big picture.
Facing my boss, I need to offer strategic insights, build the empire for him, and resolve every difficult situation. Facing subordinates, I need to manage each project with visible leadership, producing good results within budget and time constraint.145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QKC26cYZ3
Facing other departments, I am the friendly ambassador with consummate communication skills and diplomatic savvy to satisfy each stakeholder.
My home used to be my sanctuary. Every night when I returned home, I could recount to my parents all my frustrations from work and vent my stress. Then we would sit on the sofa and watched TV together, mocking the absurdity and detachment from reality that plagued today's TV dramas, sharing our joys and sorrows without reservation. But after the incident, my haven was shattered. Without any choice, I took on the responsibility of taking care of my mother, hiding all my negative emotions.
And my last shelter, Lolly, was also gone.
I don't know how to face tomorrow, and I don't know how to go on living. I keep muttering to myself, asking myself a desolate question.
"Do I have a reason to live any more?"
Fortunately, at the lowest point of my life, I had two good friends by my side. They guarded me gently with their understanding silence, and when I stopped crying and calmed down a bit, they lent their supporting hands on my shoulders.
"Come on, brother, let's have a drink and forget about it for now!"
I felt the warmth from their hands. I nodded, took the beer from Kevin, and drank it down.
"Thank you, guys." My voice had become hoarse. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Oh, don't be so polite! Both Kevin and I were really worried about you. Don't think too much, just talk if you want to talk, and drink if you want to drink! Why don't you take a day off tomorrow and come to my coffee shop? Let me treat you to a nice breakfast and some good music. It'll cheer you up and you'll only need to pay me by the second..." said Penny, who loved reciting lines from Stephen Chow's (*a famous comedy actor in Hong Kong during the 90's) movies and had a bold personality.
"Hey, don't make those silly jokes at a time like this!" Kevin, who was meticulous, would always stop him at the right time.
"Don't worry, Kevin." I said, "Thank you, Penny. But no, I have to host an important project meeting tomorrow and there are a lot of things to discuss."
"Forget about all those things for now!" Kevin, who was also in IT, said, "One or two project delays won't kill anyone!"
"Yeah, bad habits die hard!" Penny was annoyed too. "You worry about everything, and you always have to do everything by yourself. Your department is more than just you alone, so let go and let others take care of it!"
"Let's forget about it for now, you guys know my personality." I said, "Let's not talk any more, let's just drink!"
With that, I raised my beer can, clinked it with theirs, and down it in one gulp. Alcohol certainly couldn't solve my problems, but it could whisk away my sorrows, for now.145Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkr7cHCefSJ
