Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZMEPgWLKa
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“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeH4U135kG
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIUiZiDC1t
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“I love you,” he said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1RVINtKxA
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“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0DQqVk76V
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“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDUmrg8sji
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“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqy3QtrEOE
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“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW04IuPSNT
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“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKAQegMWRW
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“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjVnBnFCAd
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She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUUPvEe7L0
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The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36g6JDXyoS
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Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmC0qb9Nxj
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“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6gE6OUA2S
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She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYQt3YW04n
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It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7biyCepuB
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He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcgFJYWnpa
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Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcCpzMdcG4
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He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yvoT84MBY
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He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX4cbilr1v
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He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtdTw0Cy6T
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One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV1ge2QmuX
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“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbBOJe3VRq
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“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgnJ5oO5y8
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“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv9GNtWOHE
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“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXQ81rWoAJ
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Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1vWnbHA0p
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“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClI2AqPaVJ
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“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQSPbSLSUQ
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“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYk8Xr1YE6
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“Oh, Master’s then?” 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFXt2avqt6
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“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3jE6mzEQN
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“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ka5d3LnRi
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Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9bEbVFDmL
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“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirCE1EVZGE
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Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN6IeVJyZh
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He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6NumDBV7g
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He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4gARpmf0l
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He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPanI0E8o5
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He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0cGgijtlI
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It isn’t possible.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTR0dFElLI
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwEUHqt9ns
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He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUP48GB1K6
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Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUzpkMrEN2
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If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2iWY9V1dD
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But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVlMbZQYwb
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Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wvxm6W6Mb
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“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZC8pA5WQpK
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“Like what?” he said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3oWqHunHl
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJm5RULKge
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBPthdocom
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“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZS4L5ZnXw
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Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbyniOM4T2
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“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQCBcaiK3Q
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Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdvnb3Ez0h
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“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRofM2CLAaQ
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This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBB5vgpI48
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Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZSLDaR1SH
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Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbQjzGzaeM
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“Who are you?” she murmurs.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbK9uHOyRJ
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He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTSNOeJdKX
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“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHyWb4OBjb
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“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33srd8BYZx
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He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZTMzbrooa
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“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4R4PCdVdg
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He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6aQPEUsAI
Penana
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