Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WZOXZQ4ik
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUVEfPAFaj
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2djfTK8YB
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TI9Qjlumy
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“I love you,” he said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM5HRCaxIS
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoW1n0LRHP
“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHi62tBBCU
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDMpmCeqnI
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8UnRAIC5L
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM3pWDRgGD
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndWcB2v1NO
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoO2Wjev46P
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgVxQFekR1
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TKdZRcCsG
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KHSph66N0
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYABNnNp5j
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41uRjE0xhM
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ycTBG8Eer
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IxUyUALEZ
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbv9JhrYER
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWk5mU2i9ke
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai8lGEWpr7
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaPmkiIGJ7
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUF5ravoJ0
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLtxjW7awt
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcxb40ytJI
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSiz5yNtKT
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AnXAC8FFT
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FSbYc8OnE
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugzmwQXxd2
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxPKuLNu1v
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn2Eef5f8r
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4ElMwZvJZ
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jUT1TcyGF
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mXwWFcPZY
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVu5v8yXXh
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLAUWC5NzA
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzI9KGdKoM
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NHYXAHZLt
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG54Znnazxs
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQeRPg1WUo
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuFXqjjE1x
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8UCESKaIW
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOLcXDnjIk
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHHzac0VLq
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzNz8mS33N
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fFQ4Kn7eb
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxa4yhDKdj
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf00gkZjux
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlRWe2FWrc
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIcz98HjI6
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99qlGLY3e0
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6ZeQH30Pb
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPU2ui0B0S
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2PtC21T8p
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJN9A047FI
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXahamrtbjE
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7uxvnFcYF
“Oh, Master’s then?” 672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCmOeDwO6p
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoYEEnvKa1
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZavjSusZb
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dmoZP98TQ
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqpgEN48Bi
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4ZYRbfNSN
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR5fjDNQNT
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWyEQNSlE0
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrP71IPwOUB
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpve2LETWBM
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B6LoX84Am
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjL0paCmyJ
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJixFy9UMz
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNn25ri30F
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf4dOFr4hg
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4KUoslhZx
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW2JAdXLRX
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfX1XdgCpx
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cf2dHTzkz
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCgFoxKDKj
It isn’t possible.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG4LLfgt9N
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He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVE6hd8uQxf
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWmJid00hF
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHmmFDG3rA
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SkciEzOlq
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhSIfB6cwf
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF47B6ex1cA
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87qNXnc7mB
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP26X9z7Y8u
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X87D24Omz
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTpX2thTEA
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xKMSr5Be1
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmsEADr9B4
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpO9fedjXq
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“Like what?” he said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjzG8EjcvH
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinaLtqJwMd
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tKa8Y3xKP
“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyX1UbZknW
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGaBM3btlI
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYa767N4xe
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSEMFQhbBE
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0smkkJduR
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1m291YC4E
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXkxFqtFFQ
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5S7F7hJMj
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavoxSgeY8l
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFQsglO8ko
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4CxB9JGPX
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJue7ZnioO
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBf8OwsnCh
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlcAOUGs4x
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6jn5NpC3r
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41QY9DhJde
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpGgz2cD2m
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHVCit2Eb1
“Who are you?” she murmurs.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz75Zs0zOp2
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnEUYdxqti
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUGaMu9lMt
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAG13xQQ0w
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrtGhBh4R5
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaD3t6aDs6M
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JvDejMM5i
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuqxsQ1sNT
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEo5Q2XM5r
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKWpd3RLRq
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykTJaZrKxK
672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWin9X6306
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.672Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXx2jejdELt
Penana
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