Eli throws himself back in his chair, one hand to his head and the other limp across the chair’s arm. The box falls out of his grip and clatters on the wooden floor. His grandmother’s ring pops out of the box and skitters away from him. The diamonds taunt him in the moonlight.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M3QZQWM82
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIYlKCNjew
“We can’t do this,” Mari said gently, curling his hand over the ring.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrsu2o8e2s
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The memory makes him shudder. Good thing he did it alone rather than in a crowded location as he was originally planning to.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLuLwp1XK5
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXTI2iWiij
“I love you,” he said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIg4Ny7TAR
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqVpXh93cD
“I love you too.” She stared at the flame of the candle between them. “But…how can we get married when you aren’t old enough to drink at your own bachelor party? Are we supposed to pop open a bottle of apple cider?”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJBBVec7gI
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdS3A9vP82o
“I didn’t know drinking was that important to you,” he said stiffly, running his pinky along the rim of his water glass.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgHETVpshl
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8o9yAwcmN
“It isn’t that,” Mari said. “It’s what being able to drink represents.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTaybDpgGq
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRfm6KiR9K
“And what’s that?” he asked, knowing he wasn’t helping his case by sounding like a petulant child.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gUkSkkpUi
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnBy64FaRL
“That you’re an adult,” she said, reaching across the table to put a hand to his cheek. “Which you aren’t yet.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlt0UEF5mNI
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkwEwJVQ6U
“That’s not what you said last night,” Eli muttered.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHX9rn04qzu
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTPlTvqnmP
She shot him a look and her smile melted away. “I love you, Eli. You know that. But we can’t get married. At the very least, we can’t get married right now.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU40SsD5WYz
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCrDTdkzV5
The table is still set for dinner, even though Mari has long since left. The ice in her water glass has melted. He can still smell the candle wax.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuqEuaAA23
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAQf7Wu91J
Mari wanted to go to the Epik High concert even more than Eli did. Or rather, Eli wanted to go but had to accept the fact that he couldn’t afford to do everything while studying full-time and working part-time at the university bookstore. But Mari wanted to do everything.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh96KYoREf
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jGkdtt1uw
“I can’t go to the concert,” he told her.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6doJkXd8S
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5HpuaXNyn
She bought him a ticket anyway, telling him, “It isn’t a big deal.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROx8RISZIB
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTk2rsJjV7F
It’s always been like that. She casually buys him a ticket to something and doesn’t think twice about it. For him, however, each event she pays for becomes a brick on his back. He can’t imagine she’s as fine with it as she seems to be.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrbSK84BbJ
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmRsvz5rL2
He has never been sure what bothers him more—being a burden on her or the fact that she isn’t honest about how she feels, that she pretends it’s okay that she has to keep paying for him.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6zFmvEplw
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUV2Dsq5jV
Eli gets up, leaving the ring where it is on the floor and goes out to the balcony. He leans his forearms on the cold metal railing and leans forward, staring up at the sky. His favorite thing about living in a college town is that he can actually see the stars—especially since his apartment is at the top of the hill.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzwazg7NTV
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwpGY07iGP
He drops his gaze down toward the school and can even see Bell Hall, the building with the lab where Mari works. There are some lights on, although he’s fairly certain Mari isn’t there right now. She’s probably soaking in a hot bath—probably reading to calm her nerves after rejecting Eli’s proposal.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkaxW5dCjj
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWrB5iMt4q
He grips the railing and leans back, eyes turned upward again. The night breeze pushes his hair off his forehead.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujtI2AIaeg
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3FDX1i3r6
He went to the lab with her once, but only once. Mari had needed to stop by and start an experiment before they headed out on a date. He had trailed in after her, wanting to see what she did and just wanting to be in her presence.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsV2Wlc4T4g
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsBGl65XZR
One of her coworkers stopped by to talk to her and glanced at Eli questioningly.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQzYrwcPgj
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdESKXgHPY
“Alan, this is my boyfriend, Eli,” Mari said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62wroSyV9X
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJsBkfBGko
“So, Eli, what do you do?” Alan said as they shook hands.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIPUtGm8I5
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sOvJ00Sul
“Are you really going to pester my boyfriend right now?” Mari said, taking Eli’s arm and tried to pull him away.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4EICaqKcd
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8vhoDnYyS
“Pester him? I’m just trying to be polite,” Alan said. “Is his job top secret or something?”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf21tG6TTk
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4FTyFS5Zp
Mari’s lips were pressed together. Clearly she had never told her coworkers she’d met her boyfriend while she was a graduate student T.A. for his undergrad biochem class.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkdM27RI4k
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBBX5V2gZB
“I’m a student,” Eli said, suddenly wanting to leave the lab and head out to their movie.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWMjdF8L8L
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LvbgyOfkf
“PhD? What do you study?” Alan said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4ywgNBPhX
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25vnltibRc
“No, not a PhD student,” Eli said, his neck and cheeks starting to heat up. He couldn’t meet Mari’s gaze.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLyOF0Q3YK
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7IrfIj1cs
“Oh, Master’s then?” 707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Blz9dSpSd
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURUaprOdx2
“Actually, I’m an undergrad,” Eli said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsJOVoELCy
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszCXFtXukl
“Oh.” Alan looked at Mari and then back at Eli. “Well, it was good to meet you, man.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9YVatbYVe
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnXgittIkH
Eli followed Mari in silence. He could feel something like embarrassment or shame rising off of her, but she turned around and placed a hand on his forearm, forcing a gentle smile.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRH9mWQXDi
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a3yQHTQ33
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “This is just because of your age. One day, you’ll catch up to me—maybe even pass me—and it won’t matter. We’ll forget there was ever a time like this.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5GdvTP0Fq
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcdp1iQfoA
Eli sighs. Crickets chirp in time with the twinkling of the stars. As he stares up absently, a giant meteor falls. He watches it streak across the sky, getting brighter and brighter and brighter until the blazing light fills the sky, fills his vision, fills his mind.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiD7jnjU6A
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSoyOcjJkn
He blinks. He’s in the living room of an apartment. There are no lights on, and the time reads 2:57 a.m. on a digital clock with green numbers—just around the time he was standing outside. 707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpBhv77THu
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCwpw2ZbbL
He realizes with surprise that there’s something in his hand. It’s a piece of a rock. He would think it’s a dream, but the rock smells like metal and fire. It’s warm. Eli brings it to his face. 707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JUP26zDJo
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP69AkchzJu
He doesn’t see how it’s possible, but he wonders if it’s a part of a meteor—maybe the meteor he just saw.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTKheeZeca
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMo51AD0Dt
He surveys the apartment. It’s bland and undecorated, but the wooden dining table seems ready to splinter under the weight of open textbooks and notebooks. A closed MacBook charges, precariously close to a half-finished mug of coffee. Eli leans forward and looks at the notebook, immediately recognizing the handwriting.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWemvi5sB8O
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPXXZzoNII
It isn’t possible.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtdPPMZCR4
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTjAWMSAwp
He glances toward a closed door that he assumes is a bedroom and makes his way over warily, quietly pushing it open. There’s a bed on the other side, up against the wall. Moonlight streams directly upon the sleeping form. Her back is turned, and even if it weren’t for the dark hair ribboning across the pillow, he still would have recognized her.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr7DnAdFJm
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLudZ7kBKn
He creeps closer—she’s a notoriously light sleeper—and takes a better look. She shifts in her sleep slightly, as though she can sense she has a visitor. And then he sees her face. Mari looks pretty much the same as she did when he saw her a few hours ago, only more vulnerable. There are streaks of lavender in her hair, starting at her scalp and traveling out. Her bangs are shorter, settling on her closed eyelids. There’s still a hint of baby softness that hasn’t yet melted away to reveal the sultry cheekbones in the Mari he loves.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePVGFtTX1g
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugGdcPwLZm
Eli presses a button on her phone, illuminating the screen, to see the date. Five years ago to the day.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPYawIUVwD
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZzj9plE2F
If this is right, if this isn’t a dream of some sort, he’s seeing her when she was the same age as he is now. He looks at the meteor, still in his hand. He isn’t sure how he knows this, but he’s suddenly sure the meteor was his ticket here and will be his ticket back to his year.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wBNSx9CEM
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoPgDTyvTM
But he has an idea. Now that he’s here, why not stay? He’ll age with her, and she will no longer be five years older than him. He’ll make it work, somehow—find a way to survive as a twenty-year-old in this year, stage a run-in with her. She’ll fall in love with him again, but they’ll be on equal ground.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD038YlqKR
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR56inem2g
Sliding the little meteor piece into his pocket, he takes a deep breath, excitement mounting at the thought of starting again with her at the same age—even if she is still a month older. They’ll have five more years together than they would have otherwise.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKlkwoKfua
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzAnRMIjTn
“Is this really want you want?” Mari asked him multiple times, a shrewd look on her face. “With me five years older than you, you do realize things might need to happen five years faster than you want them to, right?”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4C8lK74a7
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cVm6W10s0
“Like what?” he said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcV4XJ1YXke
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“Getting married, having kids,” she said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhp6b7klHO
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“Well, good thing you warned me about it now,” Eli said. “Now I’m mentally prepared.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUup9Dyi7EI
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx6qy4I85e
“Seriously, though,” she said. “Don’t you want someone your age?”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgARkRAOeuf
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzRRKBrxS9
Eli sits cross-legged on the floor beside her bed, deflating instantly. If he stays here isn’t he finding someone his own age. He told her he didn’t care about their age difference. And he doesn’t, really. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as if he just got off a rollercoaster.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEr4OFj7ax
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr4rBT46ra
“I can’t believe you’ve never ridden a rollercoaster before,” Eli said.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6cEEJTRfZ
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPEUyc30Vj
Mari gripped his hand, her nails digging into his skin. Her eyes were wide, focused on the car that sped by thunderously. The riders’ screams seemed to hover in the air behind them.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUE5l1YHEy
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhXG3dkif0
“Well,” she said. “I guess this is all part of our goal of making new memories together.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSExxjcvpiK
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE2ytRqjm8
This Mari sleeping in front of him doesn’t have that memory of riding the rollercoaster with him. She doesn’t have any of the memories they’ve created over the past two years. The situation would be unbalanced with him knowing her soul even as she tries to discover his.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycGPyE8FRm
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlJsZvBdFn
Eli takes the meteor out of his pocket. It seems like it’s getting warmer. He stands up and looks at her again, a little sad at the thought of a future that can never be. Taking his chance, he leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead, just above her left eyebrow. Even five years ago, she used the smell shampoo she uses in the present.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0MWWLnKSF
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4hYAnxQtG
Mari stretches and blinks blearily at him. He knows she was almost blind pre-LASIK. This Mari can barely see anything without her glasses or contacts. He must be just a blonde-haired outline to her, too indistinct for her to even tell he’s Korean under that blonde hair.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XTF3Bp3pU
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoIT6DfJPz
“Who are you?” she murmurs.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5r1x4JIAh
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ougOs8Wpp
He thinks about it for a moment and speaks softly to keep from waking her up completely. “I’m someone you haven’t met yet—someone you’ll meet in the future and fall in love with, but not quite as deeply as I’ll fall in love with you.”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrajTx1azHn
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoXWFkalwk
“Why?” Her voice is still groggy, eyes half-closed.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6mR272nfw
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqhsGx3Jn6
“Because I’m younger than you,” Eli says, gently putting a finger to her cheek. “It’ll bother you, and I think you won’t believe me when I say just how much I love you. But I love you, and only you, and especially you when you’re five years older than me. Don’t forget it, okay?”707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD03YW03Sfn
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDULnr1PGF
He holds his pinky out to her. She curves her own pinky around his. Her skin is almost as warm as the meteor.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0boOgHUZL
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRh0ww0Bdw
“Okay.” Her voice is nearly gone now as she sinks back into sleep.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6TvmuX4XH
707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyYcM41sK8
He holds the meteor in his palm as it burns more fiercely, watching this Mari and thinking about the Mari waiting for him back in his present.707Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf26VeS5bdz
Penana
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