Connor never just idly flicks through Facebook. He takes the time to read posts on his newsfeed and really look at the pictures and videos people post. If he wants to promote himself, he needs to engage with other people. So he finds himself on Facebook while waiting for his workshop to start.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJnA5u72oz
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He says hi to his dancers as they walk in, has conversations, and then sinks back into the world of Facebook. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s aware that Eve isn’t here. It’s unusual. She tends to be early, and she always arrives before him without fail—unless they’re carpooling, of course.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50UmH0ewPj
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl74J7hryg
Connor’s stomach turns, a hint of anxiety pressing against him. He cringes thinking to the night before. He wasn’t mean, exactly, but he was definitely cold to her. Again. She came up to him to say goodnight and thank him for class, and what did he do? He said a brusque, “I’m going home.” Just so she wouldn’t wait for him and assume he would eat with her before going home, like he sometimes did.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqi3nyv61kZ
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The ironic thing was, as he drove home and whatever irritation had overcome him before melted away, he wished he had eaten with her. He liked his alone time, but at that moment, he felt a tiny bit lonely. He thought about texting her and asking if she wanted to stop somewhere and grab a bite, but some part of his ego wouldn’t let him do it.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCs9IBIhM4W
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dRuQ7IZUp
It’s as he’s sub-consciously thinking about Eve that he comes across a post that consists of a series of a pictures of her and Anita. There’s Eve and Anita on Eve’s birthday, Eve and Anita before a dance performance, Eve and Anita at the spa, Eve and Anita with Anita’s husband, Eve and Anita at Union Square in San Francisco.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVe29ys7jH
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He pauses his scrolling to read what Anita’s written below the pictures.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewPa7Kb2gp
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfLXRoB7qR
For anyone who knows Eve but hasn’t heard yet, she’s in the hospital right now. She was stabbed by a former coworker who got fired from her company a few months ago. Right now she’s in critical condition, fighting for her life. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Eve, please get better soon. We love you so much.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJ6iw82xwq
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiirEpU0vd
Connor has the sensation of being kicked in the stomach while standing in freezing rain. Every hair on his arms and legs stands. His skin is chilled. He reads the post again. And then again. And again, still. He scrolls down more forcefully now and comes across more posts that are similar in vein. They seem to be spawned by Anita’s post.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pL0maexAq
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1V9pLpU8d
He’s about to comment on the post, but decides to message her directly.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvsIiUc8z6
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHyBYfuH4p
Connor: Is Eve really in the hospital?712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCnkyVdK2y
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7QM1fwjKY
Anita: Yes. You didn’t know? I thought you would be the first to know.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yZhd0R5Gz
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQF9JhD9m7
Connor sits down, his back to the mirror. He has a vague notion of his dancers waiting for him to stretch them out and get started on the choreography. But he can’t focus on them right now. He fights the nausea building inside of him, tries to formulate a response to Anita.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEyM0WGymx
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPdlebUotJ
Connor: I saw her last night. She was fine.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGdiEQHkZn
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbK9PG1TVtm
Anita: I guess after your workshop, she stopped by her office to get some food she left in the fridge. A man who was fired from the company a few months ago tried to get her to let him in the building. She refused and he stabbed her multiple times.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuX505M1BvE
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqVHxkffWy
He presses the heels of his hands over his eyes, lightheaded now. If he’d just eaten with her the night before, she never would have gone to the office in the middle of the night. She would be here now, bright and happy, not fighting for her life in a hospital bed.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFZkhfJqRS
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0kujLLRPk
But who told her to go to a deserted office by herself at night? That girl had no common sense. There was a reason he had put her in the cab himself when they were in Vegas and it was nearly four a.m. and she was too tired to watch him play slots any longer. There was a reason he hadn’t just let her find her own way back.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtexNCD1xZ
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeDuKVRVh3
This is a nightmare. He wills himself to wake up, even though everything around him has a vivid clarity—the musty smell of the studio that’s been closed for hours, the rush of traffic on the street below, cool air from the fan as it turns and brushes the right side of his face.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMFd5RkS8S
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLTuY3FW2M
Anita: I’m going to stop by the hospital this evening. Want to come?712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLclSvI7LYs
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBSffwcyTR
He hesitates only because he isn’t sure Eve would want to see him. Why would she when he was so cold to her? Why does he do that to her? He sees the hurt in her gaze when he’s cold to her or purposely ignores her. The worst part is, at those moments, he doesn’t really care. It isn’t until he thinks about it later that he’s haunted by her reaction and by the cruelty of his behavior.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8dsE9kWAU
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He was so cold to her, and now he might never have the chance to be kind to her again.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Jt4qFCmLI
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Connor: Yeah.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORs8YC4b4c
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDX9FrPUDn
He stands up, remarkably calm, though his ears feel hot. The situation has settled into a nightmare again. Trying to compose himself, he hears himself speak to his dancers as if from far away and begins to teach class.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qoPdaDNIo
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQtaxYdOfc
And yet when he isn’t irritable for some reason, warmth toward Eve comes easily. Without intending to, he’s cut open his vulnerability in front of her. He remembers telling her once, “Don’t get married. You aren’t allowed to get married. You can’t leave me.”712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtH5sjuTlJb
712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH4KCnRIGZ
Do you remember that, Eve? You aren’t allowed to leave me.712Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwwfa7h6z9
Penana
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