I just had a crazy autistic shutdown. i can't breathe right now everything is tense and I'm going to explode but I can't. It's weird cus I'm only just feeling this all again recently. I haven't struggled with my autism in so so long and now it's just all the time. It's so so draining. Why can't I just function the same as everyone else. why? I have to leave the classroom because a silent room (should be perfect for me) is somehow overwhelming me beyond my ability to stay put. Hiding away as far as I can so I can freely move how I'm meant to. Shaking my hands and rocking myself. Nothing works anymore. it's just stuck within me, some monster in my body. I want it gone. I wanna be normal so bad. why am i not
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