Once again, we’d taken to the maze of halls. Ryan had taken over in leading us, thus benching Mira, who couldn’t have cared less. She never left her brother's side, instead choosing to walk as closely to him as she could get. An ache had settled in my chest at the sight, though the warmth of Sage’s hand in mine had kept that nagging feeling at bay. But eventually, Mira had tossed her head back with a careless laugh and Ryan’s grip tightened around his sister. A weight settled in my chest and I spoke up. I needed something, anything more than small talk and forced laughter.
Or not so forced.
“What happened?” When Ryan had looked over his shoulder at me with his eyebrows furrowed, I shot a glance over to Sage before dropping my gaze altogether. I hesitated, trying to string the words together coherently, meanwhile the buzz of voices from the mess hall still echoed in the back of my mind. “I mean…everyone here. There’s a lot of people but…” The smoldering City flashed before my eyes.
But there’s no way anyone made it out. Not really.
Still, when I lifted my gaze back up to him, a gentle warmth and anticipation thrummed through my veins.
Maybe.
Ryan tried to share a look with his sister, who was no longer looking at him. Her head was down, red curls tumbling in her face as a barrier between them. Her cries still rang in my ears, and I began wishing I could take back the fact I’d said anything at all.
“Once we got word of what happened to New York, we were under immediate order to evacuate all neighboring cities. We did everything we could to help civilians escape the immediate fallout of the bombs. Moved as many as we could to safehouses in the country or to the bunkers across the states. Then Fort Liberty was hit. And…” He hesitated, lowering his voice a bit as he spoke. “Then Russia hit DC. Now, our efforts are to find survivors. Relocate them to the bunkers in the surrounding areas.”
Survivors.
More of us? From the City?
My mind wandered briefly back to the ride to the bunker. A girl and a guy. What were their names, again? I couldn’t even remember if they’d been real or if I’d made them up. Unfortunately, I hadn’t had the time to ask. Ryan straightened his posture as he slowed to a stop before a door at the end of the long hall.
I’d barely even registered where we were at. The corridor hadn’t looked like the others; it was long and narrow with dark walls that contrasted the blinding lights. There were no other rooms along this empty stretch of concrete, all except for the single door it came to a dead end to. A keypad clung to the wall beside the steel door, with a red light blinking lazily.
I heard the keys chime quietly as Ryan effortlessly punched in the code and with a loud buzz, the door unlocked and cracked open. He stepped in first, and the three of us filed in behind him. What we stepped into had felt so absurdly out of place, it was almost surreal.
Tan walls and a wooden floor greeted us; just your average office-style lobby. Plastic chairs lined a small wall to the right, complete with a fake plant and a water fountain to our left. The lemony scent of cleaning supplies was thick in the air and the moment the door slammed shut behind us, we’d officially been cut off from whatever nightmarish reminders had been in the bunker itself.
There was a gentle squeeze to my hand and I glanced over at Sage, who was eyeing me carefully. “Wanna sit?” She offered, nodding towards the chairs. “You look like you could use-”
“Sage,” I hummed, knocking my shoulder against hers, gently. “I’m fine.” Ryan and Mira were already halfway down the small hallway by the time I’d looked back in their direction, and I tugged at my girlfriend’s hand. “Come on. We don’t have to stay long. Just stop in and say hi, alright?”
With a quiet sigh, she relented and together the two of us followed along behind the others. Really though, the small room continued returning to my mind; the uncomfortable cot and confining walls. Somehow though, it didn’t seem like that bad of a situation compared to the promise of new introductions. Better to get it done and over with, though, I’d reasoned to myself as we caught up with the duo towards the end of the hall.
The space as a whole was far smaller than anywhere else in the bunker, with the hallway being only a few feet, ending with another steel door. Along the short wall to our right were two other tan doors, looking just as ordinary as the rest of the office was. The first door was cracked open by a creaking box fan that rattled dangerously, though Ryan seemed to pay no mind to it.
He pushed open the door, a wide grin already settling on his lips as the door groaned open. Sure enough, the inside was an office. Desk, chair, filing cabinets. My head spun at the whiplash of everything. Just another New York City office.
And yet, so far from home.
“Sinclair?”
My attention snapped for the first time to the woman seated at the desk. She was dressed in full uniform with brown hair tied back in a tight bun. Dark circles weighed under her eyes, brows knitting together slightly as her gaze landed on the four of us.
“What’s this about…?” The woman’s posture straightened in her seat. The cushioned chair rolled back a bit as she climbed to her feet. “Who’s-” Then, her eyes landed on Mira and her gaze bounced between the two before her lips parted a bit. “Oh.”
Ryan’s grin only widened as he rested a hand against Mira’s back and she took a step forward to stand in front of him. “Lyd,” he greeted, giving his sister’s shoulder a light squeeze, “this is Mira. And these are her friends.” He stepped to the side, gesturing at Sage and myself. “Rowan-” I inched back a bit, steadying myself against the doorframe as the woman's attention shifted to us. “-and her girlfriend, Simone.”
“I’d hoped that maybe Mom and Matthew could be here for this.” Something remorseful flickered across the brunette’s face as Ryan continued speaking, and her eyes softened on him. With one final squeeze to Mira’s shoulder, he broke away to stand beside the other. “But I’d still very much like you to meet my fiance; Lydia Cartwell.”
“Mira…” Lydia’s eyes widened a bit, a smile betraying her lips as she rounded the desk to stand before Mira, taking her hand in an enthusiastic shake. “I’ve heard so much about you.” She glanced at the two of us again, that genuine grin never wavering. “All three of you.”
The redhead beamed at the woman, returning the handshake with the same amount of excitement. Green eyes looked between her brother and the soldier, her lips pulling back into a genuine grin. “No way,” she breathed. “This is your fiance?” A laugh escaped her as she shook her head. “She’s too good for you!”
“She knows it, too,” Ryan laughed as he returned to Lydia’s side, wrapping an arm around her waist. The woman had finally released Mira’s hand, leaning into the soldier’s embrace.
But then the look on my friend’s face grew softer and her head tilted to the side a bit. She took the few steps forward, throwing her arms around her brother who returned the hug with a quiet chuckle. “Seriously Ry,” she mumbled against his shirt. “I’m happy for you. And I know Mom and Matthew would be, too.”
I shifted my stance, wincing at the dull ache in my ankle. My shoulder knocked against Sage’s as my attention wandered elsewhere. Anywhere else. The prickling had returned, as did the tightness in my chest. “Ro?” Her quiet voice had come from my right, and I felt the careful weight of her hand on my shoulder. The touch itself felt so distant that I didn’t even bother to shrug it off.
“I’m just gonna go get off my ankle,” I told her instead, backing out of her grasp carefully. Her hand lowered, eyes flitting briefly to the injury in question. Her brows pulled together but another voice cut in before she could speak.
“We’re going to head to the mess hall soon to get something to eat.” It was Lydia who’d spoken. “You guys are welcome to come along, if you’d like. Besides, I have someone I’d like you to meet as well. She’s about your age. I’m sure she could show you guys around.” The bright smile had softened a bit as she turned her attention back to Mira. “After all, you’ll be sisters soon, right? I think it’d do her some good to meet you.”
Beside her, Ryan let out an amused breath, only covering it up by clearing his throat. Lydia either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Sage had perked up considerably though, offering the woman a genuine grin. When her attention landed on me however, the excitement faltered a bit. My chest ached at the sight. “But you-”
“It’s alright.” I waved her off, looking back to Mira and the others a moment before my gaze once again landed on Sage. “I’ll go back to my room. You go have fun with them.” I’d leaned in before she could argue, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
And with that, I’d made my escape back out the direction we’d come from. Same as before, the door that slammed heavily shut behind me had thrust me back into the same reality that I’d woken up to. Cold, dismal and lifeless. Ryan had taken us far enough away that there was only silence, aside from the constant thrum of the fluorescent lights. Even the chatter of the mess hall had been lost to the endless maze, and that was fine with me.
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Returning to my room had pretty quickly proved to be more effort than it was worth. The longer I walked, the more it felt like the walls had been closing in on me, and the more my mind had wandered back to Lydia’s office. The three of them together was seared into my brain; Mira’s laugh and the way that Lydia seemed to fit in so perfectly with them like a missing puzzle piece. Like a big old happy family.
And I was happy for her, right? Should’ve been.
But I couldn’t ignore the way my throat tightened and skin prickled at the thought.
So I forced it all to the back of my mind and by the time I’d gotten close enough to hear the voices floating through the halls, they were almost a welcomed sound. At least it was enough to push away the nagging feelings weighing in my chest. By the time the somewhat familiar sight of my room came up, I was swaying on my feet. The throbbing was worse now, and the rest of my leg had begun to ache by default.
Yet somehow, being trapped in that small room had suddenly become the last place I wanted to be. Either suffocating in the silence or drowning in my thoughts…neither option seemed like a good one. And so against my better judgment, I’d given in and made my way down to the mess hall to wait for the others.
Though still loud and far more lively than the rest of the bunker, the crowd had thinned out considerably. Only a handful of tables had remained occupied, and I found a spot at a more isolated table in the corner. With a quiet groan, I’d eased myself down into the empty seat and my legs flooded with relief at the feeling. The throbbing eased up a bit as I slouched forward, resting my head over my arms against the table. The surface was cold against my arms; a sort of comforting, grounding feeling. Just until the others show up, I told myself as I buried my eyes behind my arm.
I heard the doors swing open, and I glanced up. A woman waltzed through with long dark curls and in her arms was a wriggling infant. For that brief moment, my heart picked up a bit as I sat up straighter. My eyes caught hers from across the room. At least, I thought they did. But she moved on just as quick, passing me without a second thought. The closer she’d gotten, the clearer it was that she wasn’t my mother.
Not that I should’ve been surprised.
That hadn’t changed the way my chest hurt at the thought, and a subtle burn had settled behind my eyes as I lowered my head back to the table. Right. I screwed my eyes shut, finding solace in the quiet chatter around me and willing the conversations to chase away the thoughts threatening my mind. I couldn’t stand seeing that city anymore. Couldn’t stand seeing that vicious inferno or thinking about that heat. Couldn’t stand the thought of my family being in that.
And yet, no one here was even the slightest bit aware of exactly what happened.
Were they?
I doubted it, and that only made the burning worse. In a room full of strangers, could I really have been the only one to see what had happened? Had anyone else-
“Y’know they’re liars, don’t you?” A snide voice had cut through my thoughts like a knife and I turned my head a bit. The words dripped with malice and contempt, accompanied by a vaguely familiar accent I couldn’t quite place. Definitely not Manhattan.
Brooklyn, maybe?
Another voice chimed in, saying something too quiet to hear, and then a snort followed. “Bullshit,” the girl scoffed again. “The whole City lit up like a Christmas tree; there’s no survivin’ that. Wouldn’t believe ‘em if I were you.”
A steely cold flowed through my veins and I whirled around in my seat, eyes scanning over the small groups of people. Who- But then I spotted her; a girl seated at the table behind mine. If it hadn’t been that narrowed gaze staring me down, I wouldn’t have noticed her. Pale eyes were on me with the corners of her lips twisted up into a vicious smirk. I don’t think I’d even realized I was standing until the pins and needles flared under my skin, but I was crossing over to her nonetheless.
Her eyes watched my every move, and that damned smirk only seemed to stretch wider. Everything about her had made my hair stand on end; that amused intensity to her gaze, the curious arch to her eyebrows and the malicious curve of her lips. She leaned her back against the table, moving her arms from the table to fold them over her chest.
“Speak of the Devil,” the girl sneered over her shoulder at the others, though not once did her eyes ever waver from mine. The amused smirk faded a bit though as she looked me up and down. “Hey there, pretty girl. Where’s the rest of your party?” Her words came as a careless hum as she reached around behind her, grabbing a glass of water from the table. She trailed a slender, bronze pinky along the rim as she eyed me. “Or…is it just you? I can’t keep the story straight.”
The amusement only seemed to grow as she snickered under her breath, lifting the glass of water to her lips. She eyed me over the top of it as she took a slow drink, and something about that look had finally broken whatever trance I’d been in. My chest burned and I took an abrupt step forward to lash out, smacking the glass from her hand. It crashed to the floor, sending glass and water spraying across the tile.
The moment it hit the ground I’d expected a fight. Expected her to get up. To say something. Anything. I willed myself to move, to speak up first. But my heart thundered in my chest, bones aching and face heating up. And she laughed. The girl threw her head back with a laugh. It was a loud and deviously amused cackle. I felt the eyes on us from all around the room and I tried to step back. Anything to get the attention away from myself, but my feet were rooted to the spot.
Finally she began to sober up, propping a foot up on the edge of her seat and leaning forward over her knee. “Awfully bold, yeah?” She snickered, running a hand through black locks of her cropped hair. Amber eyes flitted me up and down again, narrowing considerably. “Never woulda pegged you the type.”
I ground my teeth together as I finally found it in myself to move. I stalked forward towards her and she raised a brow at me, completely and utterly careless. “It’d do you well to check your facts before running your damn mouth,” I hissed at her, ignoring the waver in my own voice. “I don’t know where you’re getting your information from, but-”
“Insider information,” she cut me off with a drawl. Her arms folded back over her chest as she leaned her back against the table again. For a brief moment, her eyes flitted to my right as a hand rested itself down on my shoulder. I jumped, looking over to find Sage coming up beside me. “Ah, so it isn’t just you, after all,” the arrogant girl continued. “Who woulda guessed?”
When I turned to shoot the girl a glare, her eyes were darting between the two of us, lips curled back into that same smirk. The smoke that had billowed up above the burning city played in the back of my mind. “If you think it’s all a lie, then maybe you should’ve been there instead.”
The stranger regarded me with nothing more than a slightly intrigued gaze. “Oh, I never said the City was a lie, pretty girl.” Her leg bounced lazily, heavy boot tapping and crunching the glass on the floor. She barked a laugh. “But if you expect us to believe that your little lot is from the City? As if.”
I wanted to argue back, but I felt that wretched trembling in my body and burning in my eyes. Sage’s grip tightened a bit over my shoulder, tugging me back. Grinding my teeth, I reluctantly allowed my girlfriend to pull me away from the group. I jerked out of her grasp as laughter rose from behind us. My cheeks burned as the stinging came to a tipping point. The tears spilled free as I stalked ahead of her, back towards the set of double doors. I heard her footsteps sounding behind me as she followed me, though I still felt her hand brushing against mine occasionally.
I couldn’t even bother to acknowledge it.
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We’d only left the mess hall maybe five minutes before we’d come across a familiar trio. At my side, Sage immediately brightened a bit at the sight of our friend. I sniffed, swiping the heel of my hand over my cheek and averting my gaze. The tears had dried for the most part, wiped away within minutes. But the stinging was still there regardless, and the sight of Mira and her family hadn’t exactly helped to ease the pressure in my chest.
“There you two are!” But Mira had bounded forward all the same, practically grinning ear to ear as she came to a halt before us. “Lyd finished up her paperwork. Said she’ll hook us up with the good food.” She flashed us a wink, eyes flitting between us. The enthusiasm had faltered a bit after a moment. “Did…you guys wanna come with us, or…?”
“Not a chance.” I couldn’t stop the bitterness from lacing my words as I spoke. “There’s some arrogant little prick in there running her mouth. ‘Insider information’ my ass.”
“Ah.” Lydia let out a rather exasperated sigh as she caught up to us, with Ryan at her side. He practically winced as she stopped just beside the redhead. “Seems you’ve met Shada.” The only other elaboration she bothered to give was an apologetic smile but beyond that, she didn’t continue.
Really, that was enough for me. If this Shada had already gotten under Lydia’s skin, that was all I needed to know to stay away from her. As if I’d needed any more convincing.
Though when Lydia failed to elaborate further, Mira had butt into the silence with one final attempt; “you guys sure you don’t wanna come with us?” She was grinning again, eyes darting between the two of us and to my right, Sage shifted.
I felt her arm graze against mine but it didn’t change anything. The thought of having to go back in there and face that crowd again made me sick. Staring down Mira and the other two certainly wasn’t helping, either. And so I’d waved off the redhead’s question. “I’m fine,” I’d told her through a tight-lipped smile. “Have fun though.” Though the words left my lips in all the sincerity I could muster, it didn’t ease that wretched feeling prickling in my chest.
None of them spoke up as I left, and I hadn’t expected them to. Of course, Sage followed along at my side with her fingers curled tightly in mine. Yet, it was far too easy to tell that she’d wanted to go with them. The slight furrow to her brow and occasional glances over her shoulder had given it away almost immediately. We hadn’t even made it halfway down the hall when I came to a stop and finally turned to face her. “You wanted to go, didn’t you?”
“What?” Her brown eyes widened ever so slightly as she staggered to the same abrupt halt.
I nodded back down the hall, towards the double doors that the others had disappeared through. “Wanted to go with them.”
“Hell no,” she snorted, looping her arms back around mine with a hum. “You’re stuck with me, Ro.” Her eyes seemed to search mine in the following silence, her feigned confidence finally beginning to crumble. “Alright, fine. Maybe a little bit.”
Of course she did. And I couldn’t blame her, could I? So with another forced smile, I pressed a kiss to her cheek and released her hand. “Go on then,” I told her. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m sure we’ll all still be here in an hour.”
The grin on her face was more than enough to make everything else worth it. Despite the dread of the imminent silence looming overhead, a gentle warmth in my cheeks had managed to part that. For the time being, at least. She pressed a lingering kiss against my lips before she turned, hurrying down the hall after the others. Before long, those doors swung shut once again, trapping the laughter and the smell of food on the other side.
Once she had disappeared from sight, I took a few steps back before finally retreating to my room altogether. My body ached and the heaviness in my eyes had only grown harder to ignore. How long had we been down there, anyways? A few hours? A day?
Maybe more.
The moment I’d brushed past the curtain and into my room, I eased myself down onto the cot with a sigh. I allowed myself to fall backwards against the flat pillows, just watching as the fluorescent lights flickered above me.
Didn’t matter how long we’d already been down there. What mattered was just how much longer we’d be trapped down there. Months? Years?
Eventually, I tore my eyes from the lights above and rolled onto my side. Dark spots danced along the concrete wall. A colorful explosion of reds and oranges began to lick at the cold gray and I screwed my eyes shut. Would there even be a world left out there?
Well over eighty years ago, a smart man had said that the fourth world war would be fought with sticks and stones. He’d known, but we’d played with fire anyways.
When I cracked my eyes open again, the wall swam in front of me. It hadn’t even occurred to me that my eyes had been burning due to something more than just the lights. I was beginning to wonder if there was even enough left out there to contribute to a fourth world war; if there was anything out there left to return to. And maybe if that was the case…then where did that leave us?
My chest tightened and I sat up, pushing myself back up against the wall behind me. Trapped down here forever?
Four walls and a ceiling suddenly seemed so much more daunting than they should’ve. Too small, too bright, too warm. Left to suffocate under miles of dirt in a concrete coffin?
My hands fell to my sides, fingers curling in the cushion of the pillow. The cold fabric offered little relief. Instead, it only furthered that prickling aggravation. I jerked it out from under me. Are we just going to be left here to starve?
Just past the pillow, the blurred numbers on the wall stared back at me. Numbered like cattle to the slaughter. Left to die. Maybe waiting to die. Alone.
“Shit!” The pillow hit the wall across from me, falling to the floor with a muffled thud. My fingers curled into tight fists; anything to combat the trembling. My lungs heaved as I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my forehead behind them with a choked cry.
Unlike cattle, we’d die there slowly. I didn’t even see the mercy of death coming any time soon, either.
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