I paced back and forth across the width of the cell that I’d already grown unfortunately familiar with. How could I have been so stupid? All this, and for what? A loud clang rang out from what had to be an illegally small bathroom attached to the cell, followed by a muffled curse. I’d cast a wary glance in the direction of the unlocked door and another bitter curse caused a heavy weight to settle in my chest. I’d said no one would get in trouble because of me.
The weight had quickly been replaced with a prickling irritation as I paced yet another lap along the short length of the bars. And now we were in the furthest, deepest basement of this godforsaken bunker all while there’s a spy running around with free reign. I’d only briefly entertained the thought of an evacuation happening while we were down there. Would I be able to get back to Sage or Mira in time? I doubted it, and with that irritation reaching its boiling point, I’d whirled on the bars and struck them with my foot. The pain that flared up through my leg hadn’t been worth it, and the bars only offered a dull and taunting ring in response to the impact.
“Give it a rest, would ya?” Came Shada’s voice, and I shot a look in the direction of the bathroom. The door was cracked open now as the taller girl sauntered out, somehow looking worse than she had when we’d first been dragged in here together. “You’re gonna break something and, news flash, it’s not gonna be the bars.” The frustration at both her comment and the general situation had begun to flicker out as I watched her cross the few steps to the cot and ease herself down on it.
Despite having cleaned up the wound, it didn’t look much better. When she’d first been struck, it had been a deep and nasty looking gash splitting the skin over the bones of her cheek. Meredith had, of course, been all too eager to put her actions in the past and haul us down to the cell. Had it not been for all of Shada’s relentless pacing, screaming and threatening, I doubted that anything would’ve been done about it in the first place. After the first nearly endless hour of that, Private Holt had returned with a first aid kit and tossed it in at her feet. Whether it was out of sympathy or just to shut her up, I didn’t know. The look on his face had told me it was the latter, though.
Now though, it’d been haphazardly stitched shut while the skin around it still remained a swollen and angry sight. The fluorescents glistening off gleaming red skin was enough to make my throat close up, and my stomach churned. A narrowed gaze in my direction had me whirling back against the bars and sliding down to the rough floor.
The cold metal dug in between my shoulder blades as I leaned back against them, ignoring the fact that her glare was still on me. I hadn’t bothered to answer her at first; it wouldn’t be worth whatever it was that she was waiting for. An apology? Likely. But I hadn’t asked for her help. Then again… I dared another glance at the vicious wound on her face and my teeth ground together. That didn’t change how things had transpired. Her eyes were no longer on me. Instead, they were focused lazily on the ceiling above us as if nothing had happened at all. That certainly hadn’t helped the uneasiness weighing in my chest.
“I can’t just sit here and do nothing,” I finally sighed out, dropping my gaze to my hands. I ran a nail along the cracking edges of peeling skin around my thumbnail. The only response I was offered within the next several minutes was a huff before the silence damn near swallowed us. The only sound tethering me to somewhat sanity was the persistent buzz of the lights.
“Just what exactly do you think kickin’ those bars is gonna do?” She eventually broke the silence with a sneer. “We aren’t goin’ anywhere, thanks to you.” Another glance in her direction and another glance regretted. Blazing amber eyes were on me from where she lay on that battered cot. With a bitter snort, she shifted on her back and that glare returned to the flaking ceiling. “Shouldn’t have said anything, Vanderwaal. I’m the only one who should be stuck in here.”
“Please.” The scoff left my lips before I could stop myself. “I’ve had a target on my back since I first met Meredith. She would’ve found another reason to lock me up without your help.”
And that had been true, hadn’t it? Someone with all that power, all that responsibility…and yet, she’d been down there in the shooting range with complete ignorance and disregard to the chaos unfolding everywhere else in the bunker. Why else? Regret, I’d imagined. Regret for telling me about the spy. For letting me walk away with it. But the brittle silence that followed my scoff allowed a certain uneasiness to creep in and my gaze flitted back in Shada’s direction. The look on her face showed every bit of resentment and outright anger with no attempt to conceal it. There’d been a certain sliver of something else in those blazing eyes, something that I didn’t recognize. Whatever that look was, had been enough that I found myself shrinking further back against the bars.
“You just think you're so special, don't you? That Meredith has this whole huge plan that somehow revolves around getting rid ofyou?” She was pushing herself upright with a resentful shake of her head and lips curled back in a sneer. “You. One of how many people in this godforsaken bunker?”
“Yeah, because I’m one of the few who-” I stood, cutting myself off as I watched the taller girl rise to her feet to meet me. Now, she was just looking at me like she was waiting for something. My attempt to swallow was futile and left my mouth feeling as though it had been filled with sand. That ferocious gaze wasn’t helping. “-one of the few who knew about the spy. And-”
“You know what? Fuck you, Vanderwaal.” The tone had dropped to something flat and careless, hate disappearing right along with that blaze in those eyes. Somehow that lack of emotion was even worse. “Quit with that damn pity party of yours. In case you forgot, you’re just another number down here. Meredith couldn’t give fuck-all about you. She’s got bigger problems, if you haven’t noticed our current situation; it’s the end of the goddamn world. We’re all in the same sinking ship, pretty girl. That means we’re all going down together and that includes Meredith.”
The ferocity in her words had returned and, coupled with that hostile pacing, it was beginning to feel very near to being caged in with a tiger. If I could’ve backed up any further, I would have. Unfortunately, the cold bars only dug against my bones and held me in place. Never once did that narrow gaze waver from mine. “I just-”
“She told you about the spy because she just loves running her mouth and feeling important. What it doesn’t mean is that she has some sorta secret agenda out for you. You’re not a goddamn crime witness. You’re a fucking survivor, so act like one, dammit.” In one final and fluid motion, she struck the bars beside me with her fist. I flinched back against the cold metal, slamming into the trembling bars hard enough that a dull pain had blossomed in the back of my head.
Shada stood before me at an intimidating range with hot breath licking against my cheeks, eyes cold and hard. Disappointment. That’s what that look was. Narrowed eyes searched my face before some amount of that fire burned out and she retrieved her arm. “At least pretend to appreciate whoever you have left instead of picking fights and wallowing.” The bars were still ringing in my ears by the time she finally stepped back, retreating to her cot. “Because you might just be one of the lucky few left.”
What did she know about anything? But I merely swallowed the growing tightness in my throat, easing myself back down to the hard ground. Shada Rhodes was curled up on the cot again with her back to me before I could even fully process her words. She was closed off, gone away so far that I couldn’t have even hoped to reach her. But it wasn’t like she’d had anything to run from, right?
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“....how’s your hand?”
“Leave me alone, Vanderwaal.”
Shada had been on her cot for nearly an hour in complete silence. For a while, I’d assumed she’d fallen asleep. Now though, she was sitting with her back to the wall and knees to her chest. Her hand was curled up in front of her, cradled like a fragile piece of glass. I couldn’t get a good view of the damage done from where I’d been sitting on the ground, but I didn’t have to. She barely moved her hand at all, and every twitch of her fingers was enough to elicit a grunt or a wince. Seems like not even Shada’s immune to pain. The brief wave of solace flickered out under that glower when her eyes landed on mine.
“What’re you laughing about?” She ran a thumb across her battered knuckles and my gaze landed back down to the singed cuffs of my sleeves.
“I’m not. I just…” I tugged down at the fabric, pulling the sleeves to cover the bleeding skin around my nails. 16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUU7CIEgp89
“You were the one who warned me about kicking the bars. Said I’d break something and now…” Now you’re the one nursing broken fingers. I bit my tongue before I could say anything else. The aggravated sigh from her direction already had me wincing at my own brief confidence.
“Yeah,” she snapped, “care to join me?”
Despite how now her fingers were bruised and immobilized, I didn’t doubt that her threat held any weight. She’d just find another way to make me regret my words, and I knew it. Still, I lifted my gaze just long enough to catch a glimpse of her wounded hand. A dark and ugly bruise had spread across her skin, discoloring her once tanned fingers.
“...I’m sorry.” The words felt foreign against my tongue, and another glare was almost certainly tossed in my direction. I didn’t bother to look further than her swollen hand in order to confirm or deny it. She’d made herself more than clear, and I wasn’t willing to risk making things any worse between us than they already were. I drew my knees tighter against my chest, snaking my arms around them. The sleeves of my letterman were balled tightly in my fists until the fabric felt hot and rough against my palms.
Shada had remained silent in wake of my words, but I knew she heard me. Her reply didn’t come until several minutes of silence had passed. “Next time, listen to me. I’ve said it before; how’re you gonna protect your precious girlfriend if you’re locked up or dead?” Whatever hostility I’d been faced with before was gone. Now, it was just low and exhausted. I risked a glance up at her over my knees. Her eyes were on me, but the look behind that gaze wasn’t cold. “Think of that next time you decide to get yourself into trouble. The end of days is near, and a pretty face isn’t gonna get you far in Hell. That’s a promise.”
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How long had we been there? Hours? Days? Time dragged on in such a way that the line between Hell and Purgatory blurred. There were only so many ways to keep count and more often than not, that came in the form of the staggered meals they brought and the endless droning on of the lights. There were only so many conversations to have; we’d well reached the end of whatever thoughts we had to share with one another by the end of the first day.
The majority of our time was taken up by complete silence, often only broken by that of the other’s breathing and that same endless buzzing. Shada remained on her side of the cell, and I remained on mine. Ever since that argument, she hadn’t come near me. She kept her back to me as often as she could stand staring at that same wall, unbroken fingers typically drumming intermittently against her arm. As much as she would have liked me to think it was out of spite or loathing, I knew it was likely only because she didn’t trust herself not to do it again. And honestly? That was fine with me. I hadn’t been too keen on testing that theory.
Keeping our distance and sitting in silence seemed to be our best option, but even then that could grow old. More than anything, the silence itself had been growing almost daunting, if not tiring. Our emptied trays of food stacked up just outside the cell, swarming with flies and gnats. Every so often, one would find their way in to taunt us. Like the collection of trays, Shada had a collection of corpses flattened across the wall in front of her. Each smack had more aggravation and heat behind it.
I’d almost started to think that not even she was content with being alone with her thoughts.
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“How’d you do it?” Another loud thud, followed by the raspy drawl of Shada’s voice had jolted me from my dozing state.
With a grunt, I blinked the haziness from my eyes and tried to focus on her vague shape that was sprawled leisurely on the cot. Pain crawled through my tensed muscles as I rolled onto my back, flattening myself over the hard concrete of the floor. At first, I’d reasoned that she’d just been talking to herself. After all, only silence had followed with no context to her question. But then she spoke again, with the same casual drawl of someone who clearly assumed I somehow knew what she’d been talking about. “Vanderwaal.”
The dull flickering of the lights danced above me in a bleary swirl and I squeezed my eyes shut until I could see the spots against my eyelids. “What?”
“Lyd’s rifle. How the hell’d you get your hands on it?”
04122040. The numbers flitted through my mind, clear as the day Shada had typed the code in. “Maddie,” had been my only response.
“Right.” There was a scoff and I wrinkled my nose as the dryness of her tone. “Maddie doesn’t know anyone’s codes, you moron. If you’re gonna lie, you could at least try a little harder.” There was a low groaning of metal as the cot shifted under her weight. A soft thud followed as her boots hit the concrete. “Now I’m gonna ask you again; how the hell’d you get her rifle?”
“Lucky guess.” Not at all amused with my answer, Shada merely grunted. I caught a glimpse of her battered boot tapping impatiently against the floor and rolled my eyes. I could be as sarcastic as I wanted to be, that wouldn’t change that she’d never drop it. So with a sigh, I pushed my aching limbs up until I was leaning up against the bars. “April of twenty-forty. Ring a bell?”
Amber eyes narrowed and lips twitched down into a scowl. Silence ticked by and buzzing lights did their typical flicker. I watched as she set her jaw, tucking one knee up against her chest and bringing her foot to rest on the edge of the bed. Her other leg bounced mercilessly.
“Forget it,” she muttered, pushing off the floor and scooting back onto the flat mattress. Her back was facing me again before I could say anything and with a painful thud, another fly fell victim to Shada. “...just watch yourself, Vanderwaal. You’re gonna open yourself up a whole can of worms that you don’t know what to do with. And you’re gonna regret it when you do.”
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Thud.
The obnoxious buzzing of the fly came to an end, leaving it as nothing more than a sticky smear on the concrete floor beside me. I scraped the palm of my hand against my pants, removing what remained of the broken corpse. Above me, little black bodies fluttered lazily along the glowing beam of the light. Since one of Meredith’s little toy soldiers had come to collect our stack of trays, it seemed that even the annoying insects had caught onto the boredom and had made their way upwards. If only I could find the same entertainment in these maddening lights as they seemed to.
It had been hours since our last conversation, and Shada had locked herself in the bathroom shortly after. I hadn’t bothered to try and talk to her. It wasn’t my place, and she’d made that extremely clear to me. Whatever can of worms it was that she’d been talking about, I wasn’t sure if I wanted them opened, either. So I kept my mouth shut and bit my tongue even as she finally emerged. Amber eyes rolled over me, careless and lazy as always. She took her place back on the cot in silence, and I ignored the newly broken skin across her knuckles.
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“What do you think is going on up there?” I didn’t know if she was even awake when I’d finally spoken. Against my better judgement, I had found myself inched closer to the cot and further away from the bars. Now though, it seemed that we both found ourselves staring up at the ceiling as though we could pretend the buzzing flies were dark stars in the night sky. “In the upper levels, I mean.”
Chaos. Uprising. Revolt. War.
My chest knotted up at the mere thought of all the things that could have transpired while we’d been trapped in that cell. The bunker could have come to an end and we’d still be there. It never helped that our meals remained staggered at random intervals. Had we eaten that day? I didn’t know, and that did little to quell the rising concern. I watched as a fly landed on the glaring light before crawling up into the fixture.
Eventually, Shada let out a sigh. “Same as any other day,” she answered in that same bored drawl. “Except now, they’re pickin’ fights with the wrong people.” A bitter scoff sounded from her direction and I cast a glance in her direction. I couldn’t see much aside from bruised fingers tapping absently against a toned arm. Her jacket, now discarded, had found a new purpose as a pillow tucked up under her head. I’d assumed that had been the end of the conversation when she didn’t continue and instead settled back into the quiet. When she did finally speak up again, there was a certain controlled venom to her words. “They didn’t know. Lydia and everyone…Meredith too. They didn’t know. How could they have known? And they’re all pointing fingers like it’s gonna change things.”
And it’s going to kill us all. All the fighting and finger pointing…it was only a matter of time before things got messy. Before someone unfortunate got caught in the crossfire, right? If they hadn’t already. My teeth met the inside of my bottom lip and I felt the prior indents with my tongue. “We’re going to die here, aren’t we?”
“We’ll die wherever the hell the world decides it wants us to die.” Her answer was no less infuriating than any answer that had come before, and though no less surprised, I still managed to find myself just as irritated.
“Shada.” I pushed myself into a sitting position so that I would finally be able to see her. Just for once, I wanted that damn facade to go away. There was something in her tone, in her eyes…there was something there that reminded me she was human, every time I looked at her. I’d seen it in the way she was around Lydia. When she’d tried to take the blame against Meredith. I’d seen it and for once, I needed her to give me something to work with.
And yet, cold daggers watched me from the corners of her eyes and I knew that it would never matter. She’d never give me that much. Not here, not ever. With a scowl twisting at the corners of my lips, I eased myself back down onto the floor until the lights were once again burning my eyes.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about anyone else when you already have someone to worry about.”
Someone to worry about. I didn’t bother looking over at her, only in the direction of the cot. I could see the steel beams crisscrossing underneath and the plethora of dead flies scattered across the floor. For once, the silence that consumed us was almost bearable. Someone worth worrying about, at least. For the first time in a long time, I allowed my mind to wander elsewhere. Somewhere far away from the cell. Far beyond the bunker. I hadn’t even remembered that place existing, it had been so long. A place with a sunny smile and laughter that was soaked in honey. Bright sunlight and sparkling eyes.
“Are you sure about this, Rowan?”
“I’m sure. Do you think she’ll like it?”
A decision I was maybe too naive to make but one I’d made, nonetheless. There’d been a place of warm, summer nights. The city would be lit up and the smell of fresh pastries wafting out of diners in early mornings.
“I’m lost. Think you could give me directions to say...your heart? The name’s Rowan.”
“Simone. Can’t say I’ve seen you around before. Pretty sure I’d remember someone with such shitty pickup lines.”
“There’s more where that came from. Say, you don’t happen to like math, do you? I'm pretty good with numbers. Why don’t you give me yours and I’ll help you out over a nice meal, sometime?”
“What’re you so happy about?”
A voice brought me back to the surface, pulling me out of whatever trance I had been in. The bleak ceiling glared back down at me, and the warmth faded from my chest as the cold floor burned through my jacket once again. I blinked away from the buzzing lights until I couldn’t tell the dark spots from the flies. “...I don’t know,” I admitted through a sigh. “Almost forgot about-” About what? A naive decision some foolish teenager had decided to make on a whim? It was something I’d kicked myself over in the months leading up to it and now, almost saying it out loud, seemed all the more ridiculous. “Just…something stupid. It probably sounds insane, now.”
The cot creaked under her shifting weight, and my gaze flicked over to see her on her stomach now. She was staring down at me, amber eyes showing in a mild curiosity. Yet her brows were tugged together in such a seriousness that I knew it had to be something more of a morbid curiosity than anything genuine. It was the same look you’d have when you’d see a trainwreck. When I tore my gaze away, Shada let out a groan and rolled over to her back again. “You’re doing it, again. How the hell do you expect to stay sane when all you do is pity your situation and mourn the past?”
“I was going to ask Simone to marry me,” I blurted out. I don’t know why I’d said it. The only other person I’d ever told was Mira, who had been all the support and lack of impulse control I’d needed. But it wasn’t like it mattered now, anyways. The ring was back somewhere in the ruins of that highrise, burned away like the futile promise it had been since the day I bought it.
The following silence did little to ease the heat reaching my cheeks. Maybe a part of me had known it was silly, even more now. Yet, when Shada finally spoke up, her words weren’t mocking in the slightest. “Then do it.” They were forced, though there’d been no trace of resentment nor bitterness. “It’s not like you have anything to lose, y’know.”
Once again, my gaze made its way over to her to find those amber eyes already on me. There were half a dozen other things I could’ve said. Things I should have said. But with those piercing eyes narrowed and unwavering, only one thing had come to mind. “Shada?”
“What now, Vanderwaal?”
“You said it yourself, we’re going to die down here. So why bother giving me the gun?”
“You want to know if I had anything to do with the spy.” It wasn’t a question, and we both knew it. That prickling heat in my cheeks returned and I pushed myself back up. Tucking my knees against my chest didn’t change the fact that the words had left my mouth and that, technically, Shada wasn’t wrong. Did I genuinely believe she could have done something? Maybe not. But maybe deep down, I’d almost been convinced that maybe there was more than she was letting on.
She was the one who said not to open a can of worms, right?
But yet, looking at her now…she was the same as she’d always been. There was a shadow of a smirk playing at the corners of her lips and eyes glinting with what was almost amusement. She already knew the answer, whether or not I did.
I didn’t even get the chance to answer before the loud clang of a door echoed through down the hallway, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps and the rattling of keys. We clambered to our feet, nearly tripping over one another as the keypad unlocked the door with a buzz. It was thrown open with little regard to the wall behind it, revealing the disgustingly entertained grin of Meredith Blackthorn and her guard dog of a soldier.
“It seems you two have become rather close with one another,” had been her immediate greeting within seconds of stepping into the room. The soldier took a few taunting steps forward, holding up the keys to the cell. “Unfortunately, it seems that your little love affair will have to come to a rather…. abrupt end. Your time is up here. I have better uses for my men than to waste them on babysitting two degenerate teens trying to play hero.”
The obvious amount of pride in her work showed on her face, and her lips twisted into an even uglier grin as she unlocked the doors. “Now, miss Vanderwaal. Miss Rhodes. I’d advise the two of you to take this final meeting to heart. It would greatly benefit us all if you would keep to yourselves.” There was a warning behind her eyes that was nothing less than murderous as she pulled open the door of the cell. “Private Holt!” She barked over her shoulder to the soldier in the doorway. He stepped forward with ease, ready to carry out any further orders.
She could’ve asked him to drag us out in body bags and he’d have done it.
A glance to my left told me Shada had been thinking the same exact thing. Her eyes narrowed, busted up fingers twitching as though she were ready for a second round that would never come. Meredith had backed away from the open door, offering a wave as though her command were so beneath her that she could hardly be bothered to give it. “Escort these girls back to their rooms. I’m sure they’ll find themselves rather grateful to have their privacy back.”
Shada grunted as Private Holt ushered us out of the cell, jerking her arm away from the soldier and stalking ahead towards the door. I’d cast a wary glance at the Commander Sergeant and her dutiful Private, though couldn’t find any solace in either face. There was a dark look to Meredith’s eyes as she regarded me, and I tore my gaze away to follow after my former cellmate.
“Miss Vanderwaal.” A chill flooded through my veins as the Commander spoke up again and I halted in my place. Neither of us moved, though I heard that sick grin on her lips all the same. “Do stay out of trouble, or someone else might just have to pay the price next time.”
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