YouTube is a very popular tool for viewers in every inch and corner of the globe. I use it multiple times a day and personally subscribe to over 300 channels and met lots of booklovers and creators there. When I searched up videos on autism on the platform, the first one that cropped up was from ten years ago. It was about a Mum learning that her son had autism and her trying to come to terms with it and understand his needs. The next three videos were all about autism facts, but they were aimed for male viewers and their families. Not women whatsoever.
Then, I found this one. Autism in Females explores some new scientific research conducted in the year 2018 and comparing the number of diagnosed children both male and female who were found to have ASD at a young age. I could really relate to some of the information that came out. I long for and desire to have strong and secure relationships with people. If you read my other memoir The Depression Diaries, there were quite a few chapters in which I dated various guys and almost all of the relationships turned out to be quite toxic. Yet at the time, my brain and perceptions didn't sense that. I wanted to have moments of real attention, yet most of the time, I liked to keep myself to myself. That was my own choice.
I'm keen to read any more developments from the video above. Women with ASD exist yet when I was younger, I certainly wasn't made to feel wanted or included in that way. I was once told that I was the only girl in the whole country born wrong and that remark stuck with me internally for years. I was offered chances to apply for support groups and therapy, yet since these were offered publicly, the waiting lists were far too long for stick around for.
I could have considered private therapy instead, yet the hour by hour costs would be huge. I might have turned to crowd-funding, yet I've read many horror stories about young people doing that and then getting bullied for it. I never want to look like I'm going around and begging either. This goes back to my previous points as well about you really need to speak up and reach out for advice in times of need, yet if there are no logical ways to do that, we can truly end up lost and alone.
Why I write books such as this one is a way of telling all readers that I am speaking up. Here is a free web platform such as Penana that have very kindly opened their doors and allowed writers to tell their stories. Real people, real creations. I've never spoken about this kind of memoir or thoughts books with anyone very close to me at all. It's a kind of fear. Why are you telling the whole world your feelings and experiences with autism? Maybe I am putting myself at serious harm or risk, I really don't know...
If there was ever a study about the origins of autism, I feel that I would put myself forward for that. If I was ever to have a family in the future or wondered about genetic disorders and brain psychology, then chances are I would need to know before my life ends the story and the final answers I seek to my questions. I'm not sure that every person with ASD can legitimately put themselves through that and if you don't want to, then you don't have to.
If I was ever brave enough, I would confront those people who constantly misdiagnosed me or never seemed to understand who I was a child. Trying to portray me as a child with behaviour difficulties and would never have much of a stable future. Really???
I followed a woman on Twitter under the username Neurodivergent Rebel and yes, she is an adult woman with ASD. She has a worldwide following and every day always likes to ask the online community of autistic users daily questions and some of the replies have been very eye-opening indeed. I've learnt that judgemental and stigmas do exist and in this year in truth, it's happening face to face so much more than previous years.
I have been brave enough to tweet some answers back to her. Some autistic adults successfully completed University while others like myself didn't. Due to my experiences studying I noted to her, I said I now had some very controversial opinions about education and studying. There was that moment where I could have escalated out into a full-blown rant over it and start crapping on people who got their degrees, but I didn't. I know the difference between right and wrong. Some humans also do-while others don't. Others who struggle with their behavioural difficulties definitely don't.
Tips from this section:
1, Watch the above video, especially if you are a woman who is considering getting tested for ASD. Lots of interesting information to take into account!574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhJCkgpL6S
2, Follow Neurodivergent Rebel on Twitter. She's very active on the platform and you don't have to be a public account to tweet her. You can always tweet under a pen name or have a private account. Whatever feels safe for you!574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSzZGsbrDs
3, Share your experiences on creative platforms such as this one (Penana) you never know what might just happen. It always makes my day when readers leave supportive comments on my memoir writing and have real questions I can answer.574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSIj9pXLHQ
4, If you pass or fail University, then that's your life. If someone craps on your parade, block them or if a close person to you, walk away and find others to hang out with either online or in person.574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnbatwpYpn
That's all for this section, thanks for reading and if you do watch the video, enjoy!574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p5ZmKFJpJ
Alice x
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